Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

I have no friends

253 replies

tulalulah · 14/06/2020 16:50

Just that really. I have realised during lockdown I have no-one to talk to.
My old friends have either lost contact with me or don't seem to want to know (I always reach out to them and they don't seem interested in maintaining a friendship).
I don't know if it's me. I used to have friends but none of them seemed interested in maintaining the friendship (after eg university) when it was no longer convenient.
I don't know why I'm posting this really, I'm feeling pretty low about it right now.

OP posts:
Motherwifesisterfriendwomen · 17/06/2020 01:29

I can relate to this. I'm m
married with 3 kids. No fr
friends. I'm in Edinburgh
If anyone is interested? Also fb link would be nice

IntoTheUnknown27 · 17/06/2020 02:52

Could i have the link too please? I am in Lincolnshire Smile

DreamingofSunshine · 17/06/2020 07:37

It's nice to not feel alone in the no friends zone.

I have a best friend who is brilliant but lives in another country so I can't see her often.

We moved to London when DS was 2 and I've found it impossible to make friends- it's either nannies or established friend groups.

During lockdown I've seen mums meeting in the park with their children and I feel so lonely and sad.

I find other Mums can be very judgy that I send DS to nursery part time when I'm a SAHM but I'm hoping this will be less noticeable once he turns 3 and people send their children with the free hours. I've got a serious chronic illness which is why I send him but I hate having to explain that to strangers.

Singlenotsingle · 17/06/2020 08:22

I think most long term friendships are made in early life. I'm in touch with a group of half a dozen old school friends, and we all zoom together. Plus a few others from when I was employed. So maybe go on FB and re-establish contact with a few old school friends? You could find that others are in the same boat. I

hopelessbusiness · 17/06/2020 11:03

@Chilli18 have you joined? I'm in Cornwall too...

Billyjoearmstrong · 17/06/2020 11:27

I’ve joined! I’m in West Midlands. New to the area in between Dudley/Wolverhampton.

Unknown2020 · 17/06/2020 11:31

Op I can relate. I also only have 1 ‘proper’ friend and I even don’t see her too often.

I’m at home all day with 2 young children and envy other mums with loads of friends who meet up for play dates or coffee. I don’t particularly mind not having any friends or anyone to call up for a chat but I do still get a bit lonely too.

Unknown2020 · 17/06/2020 11:34

I also feel other mums here can be a little judgy - I’m not really young to have mine, but I’m a good 10 years younger than the rest of the parents in this area who have children the same age as mine and I don’t think that helps.

musicmatterstome · 17/06/2020 11:45

Could I also have the Facebook link please? I’m very rural North Wales.

TabbyM · 17/06/2020 11:59

Could you send me the link?

I am still in touch with some people from uni but have nobody near and don't live close to family either.

Rosieeknight997 · 17/06/2020 12:31

I only have 2 friends
I think because im quite shy, anxious and find it really hard to talk to people that i dont come across as the friendliest or most exciting person to be around 😫

MaltbyMaeve · 17/06/2020 12:41

I would love the link to the Facebook group please? I have one dear friend but sadly we do not live close to each other and I’ve certainly found lockdown tough in terms of lacking social contact.

BobbinThreadbare123 · 17/06/2020 13:53

I have sent some links this afternoon. If I missed you, please @ me. The mods may take a little time to admit you due to working etc so don't panic if you don't get in immediately Smile

Readysetcake · 17/06/2020 13:57

@Unknown2020 I know that feeling. I took my two out this morning to a local park and practically every one else was groups of mums having picnics and laughing and chatting. It brings home the loneliness when you see it in your face like that.

Maybe the older mums are unsure of what to talk about with you as you’re 10 years younger, so just don’t put the effort in which can come across as judgmental? That’s doesn’t really help or take away the sting of not being included but I don’t want you to think it’s because of you as a person. I think it’s on them. I feel people can be very lazy in interacting as they get older and If they feel comfortable and have friends they put zero effort into making new ones. Which is really shit for those of us that are trying to make them. Sending Flowers

ThunderCrack · 17/06/2020 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tulalulah · 17/06/2020 16:00

@Unknown2020** I'm not particularly young either but the youngest with kids out of people we know properly. It can feel quite isolating!

OP posts:
tulalulah · 17/06/2020 16:01

@Howmanysleepsnow are you in the Facebook group? Smile

OP posts:
Theladyinpurple · 17/06/2020 17:32

@thunderCrack could I please have the link to the fb group too.
I'm a fairly quiet person but it would be nice to have someone to talk to!

MaltbyMaeve · 17/06/2020 20:59

Somebody kindly sent me the link but when I follow it Facebook says the link is broken or the group no longer exists. I know I’m being stupid but I wondered if anyone could tell what I’m doing wrong - I’d so love to join.

Wanderlustnearorfar · 17/06/2020 21:22

Hi all , I must of missed that I was tagged right at the beginning of the post sorry everyone if anyone would like to join the fb group pm me and I will send a link as w have made the group private and not visible in searches.

mingymoo · 17/06/2020 21:47

Could I join too please, lockdown has certainly amplified my feelings of loneliness.

mommydragon · 18/06/2020 11:31

OP thank you for starting this thread. I can relate to so many of these experiences and feelings.

I find it hard for myself because I do have a large extended family living close by. They often go on holidays together and meet up pre covid quite often. I came to live in the country around 20 years ago. Somehow I always thought that I wouldn't need anyone as I had such a big family. I thought that I would by default become part of the entourage. But I was wrong they were quite clear they wanted very little to do with me. This has knocked my confidence and after that whenever I tried to make any friendships, it just never worked.

But the loneliness feels like crap... No VE Day celebrations with neighbours, No virtual drinks and quizzes.

I agree that people who already have social bubbles, don't make an effort to include any one new unless that person is popular for some reason. And god forbid they find out that you are lonely, they want nothing to do with you.

Months can go by without us hearing from anyone. I think during these times, the only way people would find out if anything had happened to us is if DH didn't turn up to work.

I am stuck at home day in day out with the kids. I feel every day is so pointless. I do the things that I have to for them... homeschooling, put food on the table. But I don't enjoy doing these. All I want is for another adult to just reach out to me and acknowledge my existence.

I often think of doing volunteering work but can't do this at the moment because of little DC.

I am 42 and I have accepted that I will not have friends. I fear for the future when the DC grow up and become independent... will they also not want to know me like the rest of my family and the seasonal friends.

danidella · 18/06/2020 11:45

I don't have many close friends either. I moved to the NW (N lakes) 4 years ago so i only really know my DH friends and my work colleagues. Ive struggled to keep friends growing up and now in my 30's i'm struggling to make them. Doesn't help that i'm a bit shy and always feel awkward talking to new people incase i found stupid.

Justajesta · 18/06/2020 20:44

Me too! It does feel like everyone in the world has a constant flurry of friends and a busy social life but judging by all these comments, that's obviously not true! That in itself makes me feel less alone but I hate the thought of all the loneliness suffered by other people.

Mine is somewhat a result of moving house (counties) so many times since my twenties but tbh I've never been a social butterfly. I live in the sticks too and whilst I feel lonely, I would also really really struggle to live in a town. Bit of a catch 22! Please may I have the link to the FB group too? Thank you

FancyRutabaga · 18/06/2020 21:13

@DracunculusVulgaris for what it's worth I think you sound really interesting, and I'd love to pick your brains about the bees. I was thinking of getting some once my toddler is past the daft stage.

You're the only other person I've "met" who feels like that about towns and cities too. I can't live anywhere but the countryside. I was brought up in isolation very much as you describe, miles from the nearest bus or shop. At the moment I live on the edge of a small village, and only for the woods across the road and the big garden, it would still be too built up for me. Any time I've tried to explain how badly I cope in anything bigger, I get to hear some variation of "don't be so silly" or "if you had to you would". I can manage the odd day trip to a city, often I find them enjoyable, but the thought of actually living there makes my stomach churn. I don't know what you're meant to do in them, I feel constantly as though there's a sort of prescribed "face" you have to wear. Anyway.

I have friends, but since I had my toddler I can feel them slipping away too. My oldest and best friend has had a personality transplant recently, and has adopted some very dodgy beliefs that I can't square up with. I used to have hiking buddies, but they have fallen away too. In my last job I was the youngest by some years, and I suppose I was a little spoilt by my colleagues who were lovely, dying for grandchildren, and subsequently made a bit of a pet of me and my children. I changed jobs last year, and it's a very different environment and I can't say there's anyone there I can see myself getting close to

I was going to some toddler groups on my day off, and I was almost at the invitation for coffee stage with a few of the mums, but by the time the groups start back after lockdown, the children will probably be starting preschool and then that window of opportunity is gone.

The thing is, I do care, but then again I don't. It has been far too easy to pull into myself during lockdown, and I do feel as though I won't miss having friends anyway. But I know I will, I've just become very internal and apathetic about it all I think

Swipe left for the next trending thread