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I have no friends

253 replies

tulalulah · 14/06/2020 16:50

Just that really. I have realised during lockdown I have no-one to talk to.
My old friends have either lost contact with me or don't seem to want to know (I always reach out to them and they don't seem interested in maintaining a friendship).
I don't know if it's me. I used to have friends but none of them seemed interested in maintaining the friendship (after eg university) when it was no longer convenient.
I don't know why I'm posting this really, I'm feeling pretty low about it right now.

OP posts:
Lost12 · 16/06/2020 12:57

Could I have the link too? I feel the same and lockdown is really amplifying the loneliness.

EmotionalFlood · 16/06/2020 13:21

Could I have a link to the FB group too please Blush I'm on the app so how would I see it come through? Blush (Sorry, not very tech-savy!)

foreveroverthinking · 16/06/2020 13:39

This thread has made me see that I'm not the only person feeling lonely out there, no matter how much it feels like I am! I tend to be that friend PPs have described, where I seem to make all of the effort to keep in touch, consider people more highly as a friend than they rank me, only useful when someone needs a favour etc. I have acquaintances e.g. in work but lockdown has made me realise that I am borderline friendless, and it's sad Sad The irony is that I live 10 minutes from a bustling, friendly city (Glasgow) yet have no-one to meet up with these days...

If anyone ever fancies a chat I'm open to meeting new friends Smile

ThunderCrack · 16/06/2020 13:41

Done to this point Bobbin :)

GalactiCat · 16/06/2020 14:13

@BryonyG

Is anyone in the Glasgow area? If so I'd be interested in meeting new friends!
I'm in South Ayrshire. Near but yet so far in this pandemic!
DoAsDreamersDo · 16/06/2020 14:53

Could I also have the link to the FB group, please? X

tulalulah · 16/06/2020 15:21

Anyone north west?

OP posts:
Takingabreakagain · 16/06/2020 15:32

Hi @ThunderCrack please could I have the FB link too?

So much on here rings true with me. Having moved about the country for 12 years (OH military) I moved back 'home' 6 years ago and have yet to make any friends. I don't really know what happened to friends I had when I was younger - drifted apart when our lives no longer crossed so easily.

He still works away so getting out to activities or groups was difficult when we first moved and now I think I've lost the confidence to go. Our kids are older and I work so meeting other mums through school was hard too.
I've realised that I actually enjoy going into the office for the company. There's some lovely people at work but they've already got friendship groups and/or we live too far apart for a meet up outside work.
I do have a sister who lives nearby but, while we do like to spend time together she has a life, friends, partner etc. I need to put myself out there more and meet people but it's scary!

BobbinThreadbare123 · 16/06/2020 15:52

I've sent a link @Takingabreakagain

Yes I'm in the NW!

Tara336 · 16/06/2020 15:52

@ThunderCrack can I join too please? @Juiceey I’m Herts too

ThunderCrack · 16/06/2020 16:09

Done..... :)

Takingabreakagain · 16/06/2020 16:27

I'm NW too, north of Liverpool

DracunculusVulgaris · 16/06/2020 19:06

Thank you @HillieBoliday - it was not my intention to reduce anyone to tears, but your concern and sensitivity have moved me very much, thank you.

I did namechange for this as I feel so embarrassed by the way I feel and did not want it linked to other threads which I have started or posted on, where I am usually much more positive and upbeat! ( This username is actually the scientific Latin name of one of my favourite plants!)

Much of the time I am fine with my own company, love my little house, enjoy spending time watching the birds, insects, mice, voles and, in the evenings the bats flitting about, the sheep and cattle in the fields and owls calling at night.

It is a very old property and I often feel that those who have lived, died, been born or conceived in it, over the years, are watching over it, and me - as I intend to do when its next custodians take up residence! There are also two gargoyles inset into the wall in the living room which came from the original Palace of Westminster which burnt down in the 1830's - how they came to end up in a Somerset cottage is a long story, but has provenance. Some might be freaked by them, but I find them very comforting and feel that they, too, are watching over me. So I am not totally alone!

But, yes, the underlying sense of lonliness does not go away - I enjoy cinema and theatre, often go when there is something I would like to see, but going by oneself is not the same and sometimes I wish fervently that I had a friend to go with. These are the occasions when the lonliness bites.

My very best wishes to all who have posted on this thread, I sincerely hope that at least some, if not all, of you can link up in some way, shape or form🥂

Howmanysleepsnow · 16/06/2020 21:41

@tulalulah I’m NW. Just south of @Takingabreakagain apparently!

hopefullydevoted · 16/06/2020 21:56

I'm north east if anyone wants to pm?

lemmathelemmin · 16/06/2020 22:04

I made a lot of mum friends after DD was born (4 years ago), but the friendships seem to have tailed off. Nobody contacts anyone anymore, and when you do make contact with some or make the effort, they just don't reciprocate or ignore.

I have friendly chats with neighbours and that keeps me sane- luckily I have siblings too. People are really different nowadays.

VeganCow · 16/06/2020 22:07

I know someone who joined a walking group and she made friends there. Ones with babies and kids used to take them along. That might be an idea when this is all over?

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 16/06/2020 22:26

I'm at a different stage in my life (recently retired) and we moved to a new town 2 years ago. I attended classes at local leisure centre and met people there but the best thing I did was volunteer with a local charity. I had to attend training and met up with 5 other people. We've become quite a friendly group of different ages but we've formed a book /gin club, meet for lunch and had a great Christmas night out. We've regularly checked up on each other throughout the pandemic. What I'm trying to say is get out there as much as you can, I know this isn't as easy without the time I now have but if you can join baby groups etc you never know where it might lead.
Great to see so many of you linking up, I think Gransnet have regular physical 'meet ups' with people in their areas so that might be an idea.

JudasHisCarrot · 16/06/2020 22:27

I can identify with so much of what people are saying - in fact, a few months ago I started my own thread about the topic.
I struggle with low self-confidence and struggle to make friends. I seem to repel people too, and I don't know why - I know I'm a good person and I try hard to help and support the people I care about. But it never seems to get me anywhere. Maybe I try too hard? Sad. I'm in Sussex.

Would also like to be sent links to FB groups please Smile

Bleakfuture · 16/06/2020 22:33

Has anyone been accepted into the group yet?

Springquartet · 16/06/2020 22:40

@ThunderCrack Please could I have the link as well.

Takingabreakagain · 16/06/2020 22:41

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe
Meetups sounds like a good way to get to know people. Do you know if there's anything similar already on MN that I've missed?
@Howmanysleepsnow we're practically neighbours! Grin

Chilli18 · 16/06/2020 23:04

Can i have the link please. Im in cornwall.
I really reasonate with this thread.

OhioOhioOhio · 16/06/2020 23:10

Boxer beat that's exactly how I feel.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 16/06/2020 23:44

@Takingabreakagain
www.gransnet.com/forums/meet_ups_where_are_you
This is the gransnet forum. I'm not sure if mumsnet has one but perhaps we should start one!