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Original poster

I have no friends

253 replies

tulalulah · 14/06/2020 16:50

Just that really. I have realised during lockdown I have no-one to talk to.
My old friends have either lost contact with me or don't seem to want to know (I always reach out to them and they don't seem interested in maintaining a friendship).
I don't know if it's me. I used to have friends but none of them seemed interested in maintaining the friendship (after eg university) when it was no longer convenient.
I don't know why I'm posting this really, I'm feeling pretty low about it right now.

OP posts:

Snaptheirfingers · 15/06/2020 19:22

Bobbin Could you send the link to the Facebook group to me as well please?

Original poster

tulalulah · 15/06/2020 20:51

birdy124 I was the same until lockdown, it's made it more poignant. Lately it's been on my mind a lot so I felt I just had to get it off my chest.

Readysetcake it's awful isn't it - being taken for granted. I've stopped reaching out to people first now and I've ended up with no-one! It says a lot.

OP posts:

BeGoneDom · 15/06/2020 21:42

Would it be ok for me to get the Facebook link please? I've worried for years that I don't have a "normal" amount of friends but just can't work out how to make friends as an adult.

EmotionalFlood · 15/06/2020 21:43

I didn't even know you could PM people on MN 🙈

I've joined a few groups on Facebook but can't seem to strike up conversations (not the one mentioned here, mainly hobby/shared interests groups), last year I joined a running group but was quickly gazed out by the cliques people had formed. I went to an organised event and the group openly snubbed me and asked me to move out of frame (run group photo) I could have cried and my DP was ready to let them have it but I just left the group... it was taking a toll on my MH being around that!

Sounds lame but friendship groups (Facebook or other) should be set up by location, help you meet people in your area. Friends, not tinder! Lol.

ThunderCrack · 15/06/2020 22:09

Think iv sent the link via private message for the facebook group for everyone up to here 🤞

JoleneExotic · 15/06/2020 22:32

Up north OP? If so DM me.

Timeforanamechangeagain1 · 15/06/2020 22:46

This all sounds very familiar. I have realised over the last few months the friends I thought I do have don't really seem to think of me in the same way. I have had a number of miscarriages recently, it's been a very difficult time and I haven't had the emotional capacity to be the one who always reaches out, but I did at the beginning of lockdown to check in but I can't be the one to always make the effort and it just drops off (and I've had another miscarriage curing lockdown) and I've had no one to talk to other than my husband and mum. On Friday I cried because he had two invites for zoom calls, I don't begrudge it I'm glad he has friends, but no one is asking me to do anything

CatsMother66 · 15/06/2020 23:23

@ThunderCrack would you send me the link too please.

Immigrantsong · 15/06/2020 23:34

OP I too have no friends, even though I am sure people would disagree. But no one makes the effort to contact me unless I do so. When I do, they love it and act as friends but they never initiate. I am fed up and have come to the decision to let things die by no longer initiating anything. Would rather be alone rather that be solely responsible for maintaining every single social relationship I have. Fuck them all.

ThunderCrack · 15/06/2020 23:38

Both done :)

caringcarer · 15/06/2020 23:43

Growing up in Devon, at school I had loads of friends. I had friends at uni. When I married I moved almost 200 miles away. I only see my friends from home two or three times each year and occasional phone calls. Whenever I go back to Devon I meet up with friends and have a great time. When I come back home I miss them even more.

My dh is quite a quiet person and only has two or three friends he made through his employment. He has changed jobs now but keeps in touch with his former colleagues and sometimes meets them for a drink.

I feel a bit jealous as I have not really made friends since moving. I made one good friend through work but after two years she moved to Ireland.

I can chat on phone or Skype to my sister's but they live almost 200 miles away. Since lockdown I have felt lonely. I get on well with in-laws and can chat on phone to them. I don't think I am a horrible person. My dh is my best friend and I am grateful we get along so well. I miss going out to look around shop with my school friends or sisters.

I would love to have a friend or two near to where I live to go out to lunch or to take dogs for a a walk and a coffee.

I have a few acquatance who I meet when taking child to activities but while I stay to watch child and have a coffee every other parent seems to drop off and collect even when activity is even for an hour. I think most seem to be short of time as have more children.

caringcarer · 15/06/2020 23:54

I am in Tamworth if anyone is close to me.

ThunderCrack · 15/06/2020 23:59

@caringcarer

Iv sent you a link to the facebook group if you would like to join :)

Sarahplane · 16/06/2020 00:10

I'm in the same boat. I used to have friends at school but always struggle making more and it always seems to be me making the effort with older friends. I realised recently when planning my wedding and especially my hen do that I have two decent friends.

Workmates, other mums etc I always seem to be on the outside and I'm crap at making new friends.

I'd love the link too please.

caringcarer · 16/06/2020 00:38

@thundercrack, thanks for link.

birdy124 · 16/06/2020 03:12

@Timeforanamechangeagain1 omg the exact thing happened to me! I was so jealous of invites and kept thinking -what's wrong with me?!

Timeforanamechangeagain1 · 16/06/2020 08:47

@thundercrack could I have the link too please?

Timeforanamechangeagain1 · 16/06/2020 08:52

@thundercrack sorry, I just checked my emails and saw you sent me a pm,thank you!

GalactiCat · 16/06/2020 10:36

Same here.
I'm also from Devon and moved away. Waves @caringcarer
My two best friends still live there and I see them maybe twice a year if I'm lucky.
I live rurally now and work long hours . I have no one except my DH. We stopped drinking 3 years ago and now we are never invited to gatherings so our circle of friends have dwindled to zero.
It can be very lonely especially since I've been furloughed.

goldenshoe · 16/06/2020 10:36

Another one here who has no friends. I'm 42 and have one friend who lives in a different city who seems to get more and more distant. I have my partner who is similar to me but has a group of uni friends he chats to online sometimes and he's close to his family too. I have to admit I can also get a little down (maybe jealous) when he's tapping away in the evening talking to other people.

I've had small groups of friends in the past but have never been able to keep contact with them and I always feel like I'm kept on the periphery of larger groups. I think as I've got older it just gets harder especially as I don't have children so I can't make mum friends like a lot of my friends have, and I'm self employed so don't regularly meet people through work.

Plus, I'm starting to become more self aware and realise why people might not want to keep in touch with me! I always seem to say the wrong thing and make people feel awkward!

GalactiCat · 16/06/2020 10:38

I'd be interested in the link too @ThunderCrack

BryonyG · 16/06/2020 10:43

Is anyone in the Glasgow area? If so I'd be interested in meeting new friends!

ThunderCrack · 16/06/2020 10:47

Hay....

Think iv sent the link to everyone up till this point....

Bert99 · 16/06/2020 10:55

I'm the same, no friends and just split my time between my kids and work. I get on with it most of the time, but sometimes it really gets me down.
I would appreciate the link too if you wouldn't mind ThunderCrack.

hopelessbusiness · 16/06/2020 10:56

Thundercrack - me too, if you don't mind...hoping for some fellow Cornish people!! Thankyou

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