What happened to your rapist ?

[Iwonder777]

Please bear with me.

I never reported mine.

He's married now, 3 boys, professional. Looks to be very happy.

Did you ever get justice?

[PurpleThistles84]

First one seems to be doing just fine, married, kids and step kids. The family majority chose to disbelieve me and I have little to no contact with many of them now. I didn’t tell anyone until I was 10 and then a 12 my mum (only met her when I was 12) called the police, I spoke to them but only cared about protecting my grandparents so wouldn’t agree to the police taking it any further. Police woman told me the case would remain open.

Second one I was 18 and had already learned what telling anyone did, so I just pretended like it never happened. No idea where he is now.

I’ve been left with severe depressive episodes, acute anxiety and I can never enjoy sex the way I imagine it’s supposed to be enjoyed. I love my DH and find him attractive, but the act of sex itself, I detach from it. If on a very rare occasion I do find enjoyment in it, I feel disgusted and ashamed of myself afterward. That was taken away from me and means I have spent my adult life lying to people I love because I’m scared that if I say I could live happily without ever having sex, I will end up totally alone.

No justice. But life goes on and in the most awful way, I’m grateful I have been raped. It meant when my daughter was, in almost the exact same scenario at the exact same age, I was able to immediately take action and get her the support and help she needed. Her rapist, it took a year for the case to eventually be thrown out due to lack of evidence. It took her six months to tell me and she only told me after I sat my girls down to give them ‘the talk’ and warn them about staying safe. I have always been overprotective of them however in the end, it happened whilst in her fathers (exh) care.

[Iwonder777]

Thanks for sharing your stories.

I sadly understand so much of what you've said.

The intricacies re feelings / sex / anxiety / depression / trying to move on....

[Twentypasttwelve]

I just found out that my rapist has been dismissed from work. It took a 10 week investigation and its been horrendous. But I got the right result.

I won't be reporting to the police because to be frank, it would be a suicide mission for me.

I need to start to heal now

[Rosequartz7]

The ones from when I was a child, I don't know what happened to them. Nothing bad, probably, they just lived their lives.
I never told anyone.
Attempted rape in my 20s leaving me with a horrible massive purple bite wound nothing. Never told anyone.
The one I reported later in life (with messages on my phone admitting what he had done that I gave to the police) nothing. I agree, reporting and expecting police to do something was worse than just leaving it. I was suicidal. He still has a good job and a nice life and a girlfriend and still tries to contact me every so often. I wonder how he treats her. He said it was all my fault.
I've had therapy but with other trauma that's happened from a young age and gone on, to various degrees, over the course of my life I can't quite shake the ingrained feeling I'm broken beyond repair. Some days I am okay and some days I feel like I'm just waiting to die. I understand why so many women here and everywhere else don't tell anyone. I just wanted to post in solidarity and say I believe you all, and I hope you can find some peace.

[SarahJane30]

I too have been a victim of rape on 4 separate occasions I was 18, 19, 20 and 23. I've never really admitted it. Only my partner knows SOME of it. The last time was the worst experience as it went on for hours it was about 9 am by the time he was done (it started the day before). Now thanks to that scumbag I have anal scarring that sometimes still tears. I have never heard from him or seen him since thank god! I am so sorry for all of you. You all deserve so much better than this disgusting treatment. I hope you wonderful strong people can find some comfort here confiding in one another, I know I do.

[PicsInRed]

@Twentypasttwelve

I just found out that my rapist has been dismissed from work. It took a 10 week investigation and its been horrendous. But I got the right result.

I won't be reporting to the police because to be frank, it would be a suicide mission for me.

I need to start to heal now

Well done to you 💐

[Twentypasttwelve]

Thank you Picsinred

[Iwonder777]

I didn't want to start a thread then not recheck if anyone wrote on it again. I see that they did since I was last on. Thank you for sharing your stories, albeit so hard to read. It goes without saying that I believe you. All.

[Mimishimi]

Nothing. Parents pressed charges (I was 8). His father was wealthy and influential and, later found out, a notorious pedophile. My rapist was legally of age.

[Redyellowpink]

I reported it. He was convicted as there were 4 victims all aged 12-14 ...but he got a suspended sentence I also felt blamed and let down by the police,my family etc

I doubt he even remembers my name today but I think about it all the time. What the OP said sums it up:

Rape was like a bullet wound to my soul

[Twentypasttwelve]

Rape was like a bullet wound to my soul

Yes to this

[BurtonHouse]

Funny you should ask. My rape was more than 35 years ago and I've never told a soul, but about a week ago I had a sudden urge to find out what had happened to him, so asked Mr Google. Seems he's a hotshot oil executive living in the Middle East and doing very well for himself. I think I was hoping he'd be a hopeless loser, in prison or dead. But I suppose the kind of ruthlessness that enables you to take what you want from someone unwilling, frightened and weaker than you is a bonus in big business.

[Tweacle]

I believe every one of you. Mine has been married 3 times. His children have nothing to do with him. I’ve not seen him for over 25 years.

[Iwonder777]

Thinking of those of you who have shared on my thread XX

[Adelais]

He is still with my ex best friend, they have been together since secondary school and has 2 kids with her. I was 15 at the time, Don’t know anything else, just came across this friends Facebook profile as we have lots of school friends in common.

[GimmeAy]

Mine is doing 9 years, though as it was 3 years ago, the cunt is probably due for parole soon. I fear for society when he gets out.

[Anordinarymum]

Mine is not rape but the memory of that night has stayed with me and disturbed me so much I could not pass the place where I almost lost my life to an evil man now serving a life sentence for rape and murder for years..........

Eventually I walked into a police station and spoke to someone. After that it was like a bad cloud had lifted.

I have been in touch with one of the survivors and we email each other now and then.

I was not destined to die that night and I hold the thought

[Iwonder777]

Thanks for sharing your stories.
horrific. Always shocking too.

[MamaLion1319]

They all live very happy lives from the outside looking in. Whilst I claw and fight my way up from rock bottom.

[InsideOfEmptiness]

I don't know if this even counts, but my first experience of this was my boyfriend when I was 15. We were having consensual sex, then he uttered the delightful words 'I want to fuck you up the arse' , I said no, he proceeded to do so. It hurt and I cried and felt humiliated because he had totally ignored my wishes. What happened to him? Well he's now married with three children and considered to be an upstanding pillar of the community.

Next time, I was at a festival, got a bit pissed, went back to our tent early while my friends were still at a gig. Fell asleep, woke up a few hours later with a strange man lying next to me and his fingers inside me. I jumped up, slapped him, and he ran away. The friends that I was with still don't know. Don't know what happened to him, no idea who he was and never saw him again.

[Destinysdaughter]

He was sent to prison for raping someone even younger than me...

[Greenforestt]

I divorced my rapist. He's playing the victim to anyone who will listen.

[OhamIreally]

He was convicted and got 14 years in prison.

Giving evidence at the trial was the most difficult thing I've ever done and I remind myself of that when times are hard and I feel like I can't cope.

So sorry for all of you.

[Iwonder777]

Hugs xxx

[FabbyChix]

I never reported I was 18. I was sleeping with his wife he came in she held me down. No way was I reporting. He threw half a fifty pound note at me said cone back next week for other half. That was nearly 40 years ago.