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What happened to your rapist ?

242 replies

Iwonder777 · 10/06/2020 21:45

Please bear with me.

I never reported mine.

He's married now, 3 boys, professional. Looks to be very happy.

Did you ever get justice?

OP posts:
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Iwonder777 · 10/06/2020 22:19

If I look at the root causes of my rape

I was looking to be loved; not well educated on sex and love and naive to the sexual motivations of others.

Is there anything you think we can do, to help young women after us be less vulnerable?

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Jeleste · 10/06/2020 22:20

Nothing. I reported it, but in the end there wasnt enough proof, even though i did everything "right" and went to the hospital pretty much immediately.

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NervousInYorkshire · 10/06/2020 22:21

@Iwonder777

If I look at the root causes of my rape

I was looking to be loved; not well educated on sex and love and naive to the sexual motivations of others.

Is there anything you think we can do, to help young women after us be less vulnerable?

Teach young men better.
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Duckyneedsaclean · 10/06/2020 22:22

We worked together, I left a few months later and he apologised to me for "taking advantage" at my leaving do.

He's engaged with a kid now.

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Samtsirch · 10/06/2020 22:22

Nothing.
Nobody believed me.
Some still don’t and have cut me out of their lives.

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BillywigSting · 10/06/2020 22:23

And show our daughters that have value above their beauty

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BillywigSting · 10/06/2020 22:23

*that they have

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Hedgehog44 · 10/06/2020 22:23

God knows. Was pushing a pushchair last time I saw him.

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CarlottaValdez · 10/06/2020 22:23

I’m so sorry, all of you. We all deserved better

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TeapotBetty · 10/06/2020 22:23

He died a slow and painful death from skin cancer in a country he couldn't afford healthcare. Smile

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Iwonder777 · 10/06/2020 22:24

I'm Taking all that's being said in.

I just fucking wish he'd say sorry. How pathetic am I.

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GawdNBennett · 10/06/2020 22:26

I was 6, my brother was 8. He was my cousin who 'babysat'. My mum swore us to secrecy, never reported to the police and told us never to tell our dad. My dad now hangs around with the cousin, totally unaware of what went on.

I don't feel I need justice in a legal sense, I just don't want him thinking he never did it. It angers me that he may think my dad knows but didn't believe us.

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Ohnonononononono · 10/06/2020 22:26

@Iwonder777

I'm Taking all that's being said in.

I just fucking wish he'd say sorry. How pathetic am I.

You're not. At all.
Flowers
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NCedForThis · 10/06/2020 22:27

No idea. It happened In the back room at a party when I was 17 and I never saw him again.

The next day, I told the friend I was at the party with so she would report it with me and she said “you were flirting with him so it wasn’t rape, I can’t believe you would accuse someone of that. Told another friend who said “if you didn’t fight him off then you probably wanted it. At least you’ve had sex now”

I never told abou one else after that. 15 years later I still haven’t.

I nearly did last year when a friend said “I don’t know a single person that’s been raped” but I couldn’t do it.

I’m so sorry to everyone else who’s been through it Flowers

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PurpleFrames · 10/06/2020 22:28

1- Nothing and our family has no idea. He works with charity and is considered 'a saint'.

2- He is remarried to someone younger. bought a house and is well respected in his Academic field.

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notreallybotheredaboutausernam · 10/06/2020 22:28

I have no idea. I don't know who he was. I think that's actually much more unusual than women who know their rapists but I was plucked off the street by a stranger. I blamed myself for nearly 20 years as I'd "gone with him" (his mates bundled me into a car).

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Iwantacookie · 10/06/2020 22:29

Nothing. I never reported but I know for a fact I wasnt the first. Scum bag still walks round like nothing happened.

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Bluewater1 · 10/06/2020 22:29

I don't know. I never reported him. I don't want to know anything about his life

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Iwonder777 · 10/06/2020 22:30

Well. I believe you all.

Bastards, hurting you.

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joymultiplication · 10/06/2020 22:31

Mine was an ex boyfriend. He pleaded guilty after the lies he told the police tripped him up and the forensic evidence was indisputable. He was sentenced to 5 years. But the conviction never gave me the closure I hoped for. I read years later he was up in court for living with a woman with kids and not declaring it (lifetime on the sex offenders register). I never got the closure I would have thought the sentence would bring, but I do enjoy the fact he's ruined the rest of his own life more than mine (I'm happily married with 3 wonderful children now)

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Wallywobbles · 10/06/2020 22:32

I was 5. He was a family friend and about 15. Mum was dying of cancer and I never thought anyone would believe me. I thought it was my fault for flirting.

Told me sister decades later and she was very defensive.

Honestly I'm not sure what the impact has been.

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PyongyangKipperbang · 10/06/2020 22:34

Nothing.

He's married, v expensive wedding paid for by the same parents who said that they would hire the best lawyers to make sure he got off if I reported him. I was a frightened 19 year old who knew that I wouldnt be believed if I said my boyfriend repeatedly raped me. So I didnt.

I'm 47 and still waiting for universal justice to remove his genitals and stuff them up his arse. Figuratively will do, but I would prefer it to be literally.

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Hooleywhipper · 10/06/2020 22:34

Nothing.
I was 13 he was well into his 40’s , he was in a position of authority and trust. Told my Mum and she didn’t believe me. I’m now 50 and it has never been mentioned again.
Sad really when I see it written down, Sad there is so many of us too.

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Lemonmaid · 10/06/2020 22:34

Flowers to you OP and other posters.

He carried on driving school coaches with his equally depraved colleagues, moved back to his home country once retired. I never reported it. A few months before I had tried to tell my mum he was making me uneasy with his inappropriate touching, leering and comments, but shut me down and said 'it probably makes him feel young again' Sad

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GazingAndGrazing · 10/06/2020 22:35

Peace to all on the thread

I didn’t report as I didn’t think I would be believed

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