Mumsnet Bingo

[Megatron]

Link?

Do you have a reliable source for that?

You sound like a nightmare/hard work/unhinged

I'm saddened by

That's vile/grim

There are many, many more please feel free to add!

*Do I need to put 'lighthearted' in the OP ..?

Massive drip feed

-Just tilt your head and and say in a screechy accent ‘did you mean to be so rude?!’ as if that’s a comeback to anything.

-Do a tinkly laugh and then.,uh...just continue to accept your shit boyfriend/husbands parents behaviour choices. That’ll show em.
-my kid is ready for ‘weening’ because it grabs at food and I am bored, ‘weening’ guidelines change every 20 minutes, definitely not never changed in the past 20 yrs, then I’d have to admit that I damaged mom kids digestive tract for life just because I was bored.
-howaboutamassiveparahraph of illiterate, unpunctuated gibberish
-I moved a male I've known for a matter of hours (he’s a ‘partner’ somehow) into my kids house, just so I can get some cock. Things aren’t going well. This is surprising to me. How can I appease the cock, and continue to disregard my kids safety and emotional trauma?

Some bloke has been shagging me for 4 months, he is a ‘partner’ because ‘boyfriend’ highlights my disastrous lifestyle choices, so everyone is to refer to my brand new shag as a ‘partner’, he has 20 kids with 45 women, actively neglects them all, and I am SHoCKEd that he’s a shit dad to the kids I’ve already shit out to him in the past 2 weeks. He’s lovely and a GREAT DAD , positive replies ONLY xxx

(Christ, that was hard to type.)

Toilet brush worst thing known to mankind

Anyone who admits their sex life involves anything more outgoing than once-a-week missionary with the light off -

'grim', 'vile', 'yuck', 'here come the cool mums' etc

"How about a retired greyhound?"

"Why a cockapoo? Why not just a poodle?"

So what did your MIL/DH/random person in supermarket say when you told them their behaviour was unacceptable?

^ THIS one really pisses me off because it's such a smart arse comment, normally made to a poster who hasn't tackled the situation yet because they don't know how to. Which is exactly why they're posting for advice in the first place. It's intended to make someone feel stupid.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist but...

definitely think the Queen is a lizard and other such crap

I don't come here often....Mumsnet is shite...too much drama...I hate this site...

NC'ed cos it's outing...

NC'ed for this...

Interesting first post...

Are you new here?

#Bekind

'An unmumsnetty hug'
It is not unmumsnetty, everybody does it often and all the time.

Long time poster (penis beaker, loo brush, Mexican house thief etc), but NC for this as outing (it isn't)

Good grief I hate that weird list, as if it validates their mumsnetness.

Already seen the 'huge salad' this morning ...

And 'I really could not get wound up about this'. I'm thinking of making some bingo cards up.

"Already seen the 'huge salad' this morning"

Was it served along side a "healthy home cooked meal made from scratch"?

You can’t cure stupid

You also get competitive under-eaters who are usually especially repulsed by women or children eating:

"A whole chicken breast and a whole roast potato is far too much for a 16 year old girl - next time share half the chicken breast between you, her and her 18 year old sister and put half the chicken breast in the fridge for tomorrow. My 5 daughters and I always share a chicken breast and can't manage any potato because we're stuffed!"

(Should be a PS we are Playmobil people...)

Also "this isn't a very nice thread"

MN being known as a nest of vipers why do people expect wall to wall bland niceness?

We only share a thimble full of sherry at Christmas.

You OK Hun? Hate that!

And the armchair diagnoses of narcissism from people totally unqualified to make such assertions.

Yes, and any child who shows dreadful behaviour - 'probably has ASD/ADHD' which is so fucking insulting to the children who do have ASD or ADHD as it suggests they're all badly behaved.

Megatron a lot of the time it's transparently obvious why children have dreadful behaviour and it's mostly because they're in a conflict/ competitive relationship with their parents who see parenting as a battle of wills instead of a process of teaching a child how to thrive and cope with life and fit into society.

Another MN ism is "what punishment did you give him/ her"

Often in a situation where punishment is completely inappropriate, like a 6 year old having a tantrum at the end of an exhausting 16 hour day of visiting relatives and doing errands having eaten nothing as granny served something they don't like, and missing some child important event.

Competitive punishment sets in:

"I'd take all his electronics away and burn them ground him for 6 years and make him do various unpleasant household tasks completely unrelated to the misbehaviour, kill his dog in front of him and make him wear bin liners to school - then if he apologised nicely and with enough grovelling maybe you can set up a reward system for him to earn his shoes back"

Screen time. Just fucking screen time.

A full thimble full @Megatron do you think you might be relying on it a bit to much ?,me and dh get quite tipsy on half a,wine gum each .

@x2boys 😂