Drag queen at wedding

[wedding2021]

I'm considering having a drag queen sing at my wedding. What would you think if you were at a wedding and a drag queen had been booked to perform? Obviously they'd tone it down a bit with swearing etc.

No. A drag queen would put me on edge, as a guest. I've been to a few shows and it seems that a good chunk of the act is taking the piss out of female audience members.

It can of course be argued that it is your wedding and you can do whatever you like, but I don't subscribe to that opinion 100%. I do agree that it is the couple's day and that they should, largely, do what makes them happy, but I think that there is also some responsibility to be considerate towards guests. As this thread has demonstrated, drag is something that elicits strong responses. You would be running the risk of upsetting or offending at least some of your guests. There are often people from many different backgrounds and of different ages at a wedding, and the couple don't always even know everyone that well so most people play it fairly safe for good reason. As someone has already mentioned, would you want controversy to be the main thing people remember about your wedding?

If you are drag fans, why not have it as part of your hen/stag dos rather than the wedding reception? It is easier for people who don't like it to decline an invitation to a hen or stag event. Personally I think it is better to go for something middle of the road at the wedding unless you are absolutely confident that all the guests would enjoy a drag act. And if you were certain, you probably wouldn't be asking here.

Enjoy your wedding but please don't include drag.

Personally I think it is better to go for something middle of the road at the wedding unless you are absolutely confident that all the guests would enjoy a drag act.

True, a disco or a band would be good.
Although you're going to get judged whatever you do as somebody is bound to take umbridge, whether it be about the food or the music/entertainment.
We had a live band and we're still remembered as the ones who had a mosh pit when all the metal and rock started up
Relatives were probably pearl clutching (I know one was at least lol) but many more said OMG that was great, a mosh pit at a wedding lol

Get a decent band. Drag is a bit seedy and after hours.

Everyone has DJs though, it's just a bit boring isn't it?

In approximately the same was as cars having round wheels is boring. You might think square ones will be 'kooky' and show off your personality but they would be shit to drive on.

Similarly a wedding is primarily about people being able to eat, drink, chat and celebrate your marriage. It doesn't fit well with live entertainment because no one will listen. It doesn't fit well with very marmite taste because there will be a lot of different groups there.

Make the day as easy and simple as possible and you will enjoy the party.

This ^ from P2 has it spot on.

Yes, it's your day, but surely you don't want your friends to feel uncomfortable ?

Regardless of what any of us think about drag acts, to me the idea of booking a 'cabaret' (of any kind) for your wedding is just odd.
The format of the ceremony, some drinks whilst waiting around whilst photos are taken, and nice meal, then short speeches, then get up to mingle, chat to others, and dance is a winning formula. Even if you were saying 'a comedian / magician/singer / harpist / full on orchestral concert' I'd be squirming after sitting for the meal. I want to get up and move then, and do it without anyone being paid to embarrass me.

Sounds awful and like it could go horribly wrong but go for it....I can see the thread now...I hired my drag queen neighbor for my wedding entertainment and he got drunk and offended everyone. What should I do dear reader as now things are awk in the neighbourhood. Now there's a diagram I'd want to see.

Regardless of what any of us think about drag acts, to me the idea of booking a 'cabaret' (of any kind) for your wedding is just odd

What if the drag act was just singing, no cabaret or jokes?
Would that be OK?

No.

I'd think I'd gone back in time 20 years. Awful then and haven't aged well.

No cabaret?

So a wedding with no music, no dancing.
Forget all the speech stuff whilst the guests are sitting down eating.

No

Was that to my question?
If so, and it's just a drag act singing, why is that offensive?
Is it just because you don't think men should ever wear make up or wear dresses?
They're not saying they're women. They're just doing an act.
If it was merely a singing drag queen, no inappropriate adult content, I'd have no problem mine seeing some singing.
As I don't automatically think black face offensive oh shit I need to be offended here.

Drag has been around since the 1900’s.
I admit I do sometimes get muddled. But I do know it’s a lot longer than 20 years.

canigooutyet I've been to loads of weddings with no music or dancing, including my own. Surely it isn't that unusual is it? Well we had music in the Church but not the reception, just a meal then the speeches.

We used to have a drag DJ in one of the night clubs in the city I live in, his nights used to be heaving. He was a cross between Divine & Lily Savage, played brilliant music but had a tongue like a razor, everybody loved him.

I would opt for a live cover band If you want to pay for a live performer rather than a DJ. It will be much more inclusive and enjoyable for all. I think a drag queen, whilst appreciated by many of my friends, would be strange for older guests.

Yes a drag queen would be good. But a good one, like the Lily Savage/Paul O' Grady. and not like those freaky numpties off that TV Show thing.
A lot of weddings can be really boring and dull. You should be able to choose any music or entertainment to your liking, and not be bothered if any stuffy people don't like things.

It's your wedding so go for it

Maybe Bc I grew up in West Hollywood (the gay/drag centre in LA) but often they are better at doing events like weddings as they are used to hosting and can adapt to the vibes of the room.

Bringing- I don’t just feel uncomfortable about drag, I don’t think it has a place in mainstream family entertainment. Maybe it’s ok in adult clubs, but hopefully in the future we’ll look back drag in the same way as we do other outdated, misogynistic ‘entertainment’. So yes, I judge people who think it’s appropriate for children and I judge people who don’t understand why some people don’t like it. I don’t include pantomime dames as generally they aren’t sexualised parodies, more often a fat older man stomping around in a garish dress. One pantomime we went to had a more drag style dame and lots of people didn’t like it.
I do think the overall message that drag sends out - that it’s fine to mock women is a bad one.
My ILs say it’s ‘boring’ or ‘it’s just a joke’, etc when they get pulled up for their racist ‘jokes’. They really don’t seem to understand why it’s a problem. I feel the same way about that attitude as I do about people who defend drag in mainstream culture.

I've been to a wedding reception that had a drag act. Nobody was offended, nothing was offensive, everybody had a great time. Not every drag queen is a misogynistic paedophile. In fact that line of thinking reminds of the days when people didn't want gay teachers in their kids' schools because they were bound to be perverts. From other pp's posts, it's plain that some drag acts are, in fact, misogynistic/offensive / not suitable for children. I've seen live bands that were all those things.
OP, it's your wedding. Do what you like. Have fun.

@Mrskeats You are saying that people can choose to live any way they please. No they can't. There are laws for a start.

If you had bothered to read my post properly which you obviously didn't it clearly said

We should embrace any which way that people choose to live (as long as it's within the law!)

Weddings are so tricky for entertainment as you have a huge variety of ages and tastes to satisfy. It might work or it might be horrendous... you could do a poll amongst the guests?

Slight aside, but what is it with the keenness to get children into drag queens? The story times, the 'kids tents' at Pride festivals etc? Drag is adult entertainment, why do kids need to be involved with it at all?

And yes, I know we have panto dames, but that's not 'drag' is it? The dames don't have names like Anna Bortion or Malestia Child for a start?

Although having said that I went to a panto at Christmas and one of the dame jokes definitely crossed the line from 'funny innuendo that goes over the kids head' to 'crass joke not suitable for a family panto' so it seems to be creeping in everywhere.

Grooming.

@JoeExoticsEyebrowRing I look at it in 2 ways

1. Kids go to the pride events etc and it is a cheap way to keep them entertained with what otherwise may be a bit of a boring event for them. This gives them a chance to have something for them.

1. It teaches kids that it's alright to be different. There is nothing wrong with it, they can, if they want, dress up as a woman and there is no judgement for doing so. This in the long run does go on to prevent suicides as it's not some abhorrent act that you should feel ashamed about etc.

Once again I feel I need to put a disclaimer that it's alright to be different as long as you are within the law!