Jilly Coopr character Lockdown competition thread

[BalloonSlayer]

The most successful thread I ever started was about wanting to be a Jilly Cooper character.

Since lockdown, this has started to feel more achievable. See my scores below:

• Cut my own fringe: 3 points (scissors hadn't just been used to cut bacon first, deduct one point)

• car is Absolutely Filthy: 3 points (not a golf, mini or Porsche so as no other cars exist in Jillyworld, deduct one point.)

• "old trousers and a shrunk t shirt made her bum and boobs look huge," yeah whole three points for this one

• anthropomorphising my pets like crazy. No he wasn't showing how much he loves you, he wanted his dinner! 3 points.

• Smell of wild garlic making me miss going out to restaurants : 3 points. (Not sure if that is wild garlic or something else actually, deduct one point.)

So that's 12/15 for me. How is everyone else doing?

Deviantslagheap

Helen is also a complete drip.

Although she is one part of my favourite line in the series:
Helen: Nigel has principals, he's not eaten anything that moves in 15 years.
RCB: Not even jelly?

Wasn't it Janna that had "principals"?

At least two.

Good old Nige had "principles".

Helen is indeed a drip. Etta, however, needs wringing out and hanging on a washing line in a stiff breeze for a few hours...!

So interested in how you imagine the characters looking....

Who would play RCB in a movie?

I imagine Nicole Kidman as Helen

And someone like Rachel Weisz for Taggie

Margot Robbie for Tabitha maybe

Oooh, interesting. Would Rachel be tall enough to play Taggie, do you think?

I think Ellie Fanning could play a young Taggie, with her hair dark.

And I could imagine Kate Winslet playing Lizzie Vereker. James is definitely a Richard Madley type, or perhaps that bloke who played Bridget’s mother’s boyfriend in the first film, the teleshopping one

I think I can score many points in the Character Competition.

I have horses including an ancient pony all the children learnt to ride on and spaniels therefore everything is covered in fur!

I have cut my fringe with the kitchen scissors.

Car is filthy. An ancient Audi

My bathroom is ancient and shabby.

I live in an old gamekeeper's cottage on a Country Estate surrounded by woodland, pheasants and deer. The Hunt pass through regularly as do the Shoot. Obviously in season.

Does this get me lots of points?

I think you may actually inhabit a Jilly Cooper novel without realising it. All the points for you!

I have never read a Gilly Cooper book but I am ordering one now-love this thread!!

And Gilly Cooper brilliant on Desert Island discs.
Def worth a listen-really hilarious and charming-of course!!

Ooooops-Jilly Cooper!!

Ok, it’s a tiny picture, but tell me that’s not James Vereker right there

And Jaimie Alexander could be Cameron for sure!

She would be perfect as Cameron!

@Moonflower12 You must surely be the winner of the 2020 JC Character Lockdown competition?? Your score could only be improved by being caught by the gamekeeper early one morning as you chase your runaway spaniel through the bluebells dressed only in your nightie...

Ah no Rachel wouldn't be tall enough for Taggie good point. But I always imagine Taggie has a warm beauty whereas Helen is cold.

Good shout on Cameron!!

Moonflower v impressed, you are a genuine Jilly!

But did you use the same scissors to cut your fringe that you used to trim the fat off the bacon?!

@Spudlet
I'm going to have to change my name to something much more exotic in that case!

@MoreMoneyPlease I have been chasing the dog through the woods after she ran away, only to encounter the gamekeeper in my muddy, wet dressing gown where I'd fallen in the stream. Not quite the same....

@VioletCharlotte
I had used them earlier to chop up bacon if that counts?

@Moonflower12 was it a vintage silk dressing gown that you'd thrown on as you ran out the door, which kept sliding off your shoulders to reveal you had nothing on underneath??

I've read Riders and now halfway through Rivals (thanks to the ebook bundle on Kindle!!)

I googled Joe Turi and Owl you are so right, this is exactly how I pictured Jake! And the presenter even talks about him like Jake, difficult horse and all.

I have so many questions though.

How did they all drink so much and drive all over the place? and the food as described is all so plain, was it really like that in the 1980s?

Was it really normal for grown women to be 7 stone (like Fenella and Valerie are both described as weighing?) I mean that would put anyone over 4'10" in the "underweight" BMI category.

How is it that seemingly normal things like clothes and food are described as being so incredibly expensive (so the book will say things like "she wanted to buy a new top but had to save up", or "we can't have too much food for the party as we haven't finished paying off the last one") and yet people will can buy a house or a car without blinking?

How do people always seem to have such GIANT and unexpected tax bills that hit all at once and then hang over them, and have tax men coming to their house and nosing around their stuff? I mean, if you have the income coming in over the year, surely you expect there to be tax paid eventually and put a portion of that aside!

And my main question - HOW on earth did women waft around with supposedly enormous breasts and no bra?? I think one woman at some point (a groom of RCB's maybe) is described as having never worn a bra in her life, ever. I just cannot fathom this!! Even if they have the perkiest breasts in the world, I don't know any woman who never has worn a bra in their whole life. Let alone if they have enormous breasts.

massage in some skin food

Hope you did it upwards, not downwards.

@MoreMoneyPlease
I do have a vintage cotton one but this ( unfortunately) was a Florence and Fred fleece one! Hardly romantic and very good at holding water ( and mud!) worn with wellies!

Ha we have reached the "casting" phase of the thread. This happened last time as well. I seem to remember I disagreed with everyone.

I actually thought that appalling mini series of Riders they made 25 years ago was quite well cast. The Billy looked exactly like I imagined him. Such a shame they changed the story and had them Olympic show jumping over 2'6" jumps but one can't have everything.

Oh I remember that miniseries! I thought RCB, Billy, Tory, Jake, Helen , Fen and Janey looked like they did in my head, lol!
I agree with a pp that young Rachel Weisz looks like my vision of Taggie, with her cloud of black hair. Not so much Elle Fanning (sorry!) purely because she's not as naturally softly poshly beautiful. Investing far too much thought into this, but this truly was a huge part of my growing up!

Xiaoxiong

I have never worn a bra in my life! I’m in my mid-40s and have small, fairly well-behaved boobs.

I finally got round to having a bath and washing my hair. Points though, my bush is OUT OF CONTROL and my legs are thickly carpeted. Up to the thighs I look like my dad.