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Original poster

Does anyone's dp not cook at all?!

278 replies

milkey · 07/05/2020 17:15

Dp never ever cooks. At. All.

I hate cooking. I hate having the headache of planning what to cook every single day.

It drives me mad! And I will be teaching my ds how to cook as I don't want him being like this with his dp!

I envy all these mumsnetters who share the cooking. Most of my friends dps don't cook either! Where have you all found these men?!

OP posts:

shoofly · 07/05/2020 17:19

Yes! I like cooking but the learned inability of my other half to cook irritates me. I've come to realise that in part it's down to an essential disinterest in food.

Thankfully DS1 is 14 and manages to feed himself and younger brother when I'm not here.

DeRigueurMortis · 07/05/2020 17:19

Mine.

However my situation is a bit different.

I love cooking and frankly would rather eat food I've made than food he has under/over seasoned, burnt/undercooked - take your pick

He's bloody good at cleaning up after dinner though....

PhoneLock · 07/05/2020 17:21

It drives me mad! And I will be teaching my ds how to cook as I don't want him being like this with his dp!

My husband's mum didn't teach him to cook. He taught himself out of necessity when he left home. It isn't rocket science.

On the other hand, my father would starve to death if anything happened to my mother.

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Original poster

milkey · 07/05/2020 17:21

DeRigueurMortis cleaning up after dinner? Do you mean just shoving everything into the dishwasher?! Because that's what dp does and I am not impressed!

OP posts:

Original poster

milkey · 07/05/2020 17:23

PhoneLock yup, he would starve to death or get a takeaway if ever I'm not well. If I ever go away (very rare) without him, I still need to cook and freeze meals.

OP posts:

Littleshortcake · 07/05/2020 17:23

Dh never cooks- ever. He literally doesnt know what the kids eat. It annoys me sometimes but I never have to empty a bin or diy. He's brilliant and all diy and he's no way lazy. So I suck it up. I've stopped doing his ironing or making lunches though.

SnuggyBuggy · 07/05/2020 17:24

Mine does but only a really limited number of meals and has no inclination to learn to cook anything new.

SimonJT · 07/05/2020 17:25

He sometimes makes pancakes for breakfast, he has a disability that means cooking is hard, can’t chop, peel, lift a heavy pan/casserole dish. So he doesn’t really cook anything else.

I like cooking and would rather do it myself.

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 07/05/2020 17:25

In the nicest possible way, i can't imagine being with someone who couldn't cook. There are few things more lovely than having a meal made for you! But i was raised in a home where food/cooking = love, which maybe isn't so usual.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 07/05/2020 17:25

Mine doesn’t. But we are old. It’s really starting to piss me off. I enjoy cooking but it’s the bleeding response every damn night.

But then other times I think it must be so strange to have no autonomy over what you eat.

Redwinestillfine · 07/05/2020 17:25

My dh couldn't really cook when I met him (at 20). Then he had to live on his own for a bit and had to learn. I usually do most cooking because I enjoy it but he does the odd weekend and when we have people over and post lockdown when he's home more he's actually doing about 75%

Sereneren · 07/05/2020 17:26

Since lockdown we take it in turns, before that it was whoever was home from work first, usually him.

WarmSausageTea · 07/05/2020 17:27

I’m the one who doesn’t cook, but in my defence, DP loves (and prefers) to cook, likes to organise the kitchen, and prefers to load the dishwasher. We cook together sometimes, but I don’t enjoy cooking and don’t particularly enjoy eating what I’ve cooked; somehow being around cooking smells kills my appetite. I’m pretty sure that if I was on my own, I’d eat mostly salad.

Malysh · 07/05/2020 17:29

I'm single but I actually love cooking so if I had a dp, I'd be okay cooking if they did other house chores that I don't like to do. Seems like a fair trade.

Obviously if they didn't do other things around the house instead they wouldn't be a dp for long...

DeRigueurMortis · 07/05/2020 17:29

Well yes OP he puts stuff in the dishwasher but also hand washes any pans I've used (I've got some pretty pricy pans and I don't like them going in the machine), cleans the hob and work surfaces and leaves the kitchen clean and shiny

He also does all the household ironing and given I hate that I'm happy I've got a good deal!

Parker231 · 07/05/2020 17:30

Why have you allowed his to get away with it? You don’t have to cook all the time - divide the week up and share it including food shopping and meal planning. There is no reason why any male can’t or won’t cook.

Has he always refused to cook to feed his family. What happens why you are out?

RobertSmithdoesmyhair · 07/05/2020 17:34

Mine doesn't ever cook, can't do any diy- not even putting up a shelf, can't garden, doesn't decorate and doesn't see anything that needs doing around our house....he is a wonderful man but bloody useless at anything practical. It really bloody annoys me!

oohnicevase · 07/05/2020 17:34

My dh doesn't but he is always working .. doesn't bother me as we are a team.

Original poster

milkey · 07/05/2020 17:34

I think it's because of his culture. In his culture I don't think men really cook! He just sort of expected me to cook as I have always cooked.

OP posts:

MrsDoylesTeaBags · 07/05/2020 17:35

He must have some redeeming features Milkey?

The problem with men is that as lovely as most of them are they are inherently lazy, whether that is nature or nurture I don't know. My nan taught me that they'll get away with as much as you let them and they need training if you want to get the best out of them.
DH is a great cook and is very domesticated.

mumwon · 07/05/2020 17:35

I married my dh for his cooking seriously many people cant cook these days at all - unless its a microwave meal, oven meal or bbq cremation.
afternoon conversation (dh) "what are we eating tonight" (me) "don't know but there's some.... (food which can be made into a curry so he will cook ) (dh) sigh, "so I am cooking?" (me -battering eyelashes)"would you dear?" (many years of marriage)

Lulu1919 · 07/05/2020 17:37

Mine
But he does the majority of the housework so that's fine by me !!!

YouAndMeAndTheDevilMakesThree · 07/05/2020 17:39

I'm single but I actually love cooking so if I had a dp, I'd be okay cooking if they did other house chores that I don't like to do. Seems like a fair trade.

That's pretty much the setup I have. DP is a capable cook but gets no enjoyment out of it, whereas I like to cook to unwind at the end of the day. He does all the cleanup etc and a fair bit else around the house so it works out.

Sn0tnose · 07/05/2020 17:40

Uhm, that would be me. I hate cooking. I hate everything about it. I cook two or three things, that’s it. He does the rest. Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

G5000 · 07/05/2020 17:40

He does not cook because he does not have to, as you do it. Why would he, if he can just sit on the sofa and wait until dinner is served?
If he can read a recipe, he can cook.

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