Does anyone's dp not cook at all?!

[milkey]

Dp never ever cooks. At. All.

I hate cooking. I hate having the headache of planning what to cook every single day.

It drives me mad! And I will be teaching my ds how to cook as I don't want him being like this with his dp!

I envy all these mumsnetters who share the cooking. Most of my friends dps don't cook either! Where have you all found these men?!

Been married 39 years. He’s probably cooked once a year. However he’s way better at diy and lots of other things I cannot do!

My DH can't at all. It's all my job which is great because I adore cooking. He does do all the other housework though. Well, I do still do some but as a SAHM and him working FT he is happy to do more than his fair share.

I do 99% of it but I'm at home and he's at work.
plus i would hate to have to eat whatever was put in front of me like he does! i like cooking mostly and if i don't want to we get a takeaway or a ping ping meal. every now and again he'll cook something which requires an entire shop for specialised ingredients, he'll follow his recipe to the letter, every. single. dish, bowl and pan will need washing up and it will be delicious..... but it's a very inefficient way of working and wouldn't be suitable for every day! he does plenty of things i don't even think about so it's fine/i wouldn't want it any other way. it does annoy if I'm not around and he has to feed our son because he either just won't even think about it at all or he'll feed him some ready rubbish.

That would be me. I hate cooking, am crap at anything other than basics and tbh would rather just have scrambled eggs for dinner than make anything.

Luckily DP loves cooking, and detests eating my bland, boring efforts. I do all the cleaning and laundry, and he does cooking, food shopping and DIY. Seems to work.

DH doesn't. He is a terrible cook and I don't want to eat the food he makes. I love cooking and am happy to do all the cooking and shopping. He will pick stuff up if I ask though and would notice if we ran out of milk etc and get that. He makes the children breakfasts etc if I am having a lo G lie and will make them all beans on toast etc if I am out. He also does all the garden and bins etc and all DIY etc

Mine. My dad did much of the cooking in my house so it was an alien concept.

Before I met him he lived off biscuits and toast.

Mine doesn't cook much. He has two meals that are his speciality, the rest I do. I think that's fine. He does stuff round the house that I don't and vice versa.

I do 99% of it. He’ll occasionally make us things like toast for breakfast or bacon sandwich for lunch. I don’t mind cooking the majority of stuff we eat as he’s rubbish at it and I don’t want my meals to be ruined. It balances out though as he does the dishes and takes the bins out etc

I cook at weekends, DH cooks during the week. it works for us.

I'm a a good cook but a follow the recipe to the letter sort of person, he makes it up as he goes along using whatever looks like its life needs saving in the pantry/fridge and it always tastes amazing.

I follow

Never mind!

DH can cook fairly basic stuff. He makes breakfast for himself and Ds2 who is always up with the lark, like him and who always has eggs for breakfast because that's the rules. Makes an almighty mess in the process. He can follow a straightforward recipe. He can't perform the juggling act of cooking something for us, either a variation of it or something different for autistic Ds2 and ds1's sausages, while Ds2 leaps around, expectantly, with the ketchup bottle, chattering and groaning in his ear. I find it a bloody struggle sometimes, too.

My H has a drawer in the freezer which is there for any emergencies if I can’t cook and the kids think it’s a treat.
However, I was in hospital for 2 months and he managed quite well on a diet of beige, omelettes, pasta and sauce and once made a spag bol I was impressed!!
His mum can’t cook and he was brought up on Iceland specials it’s just the way it is

Mine cooks more than me.

Had to train him though, he didn't come out of the box like that

My dh cooks sometimes as used to be a chef but the amount of pans and pots he uses not sure it's worth it , I think he still thinks he has a pot wash to clean after him

Genuine question - why are you putting up with his not only never cooking but not pulling his weight otherwise apparently?

That sounds very much like he’s lazy rather than lacks confidence/skill.

And let’s face it there’s little skill required in putting a pizza or breaded something & chips in the oven and heating beans in a pan/microwave! Even pesto pasta isn’t that hard.

Yes there are very rarely people who genuinely can’t cook I know a couple, one is banned from using her cooker as she’s a fire hazard! But it IS rare.

It’s far more often a case of “won’t” rather than “can’t”

My dad is pretty sexist and was very much of the “wife work” attitude but even he can do (or could before he got too sick to stand) freezer to oven, a fry up, basic soup or an omelette. He used to make lovely poached eggs.

My ex “couldn’t” cook when I first met him, his mum had spoiled him and he’d gone straight from home to barracks where it was much cheaper and easier to use the mess and there were little in the way of food storage and kitchen equipment or space to store in the barrack block.

I was a lodger in a house and when he came to mine I expected him at the very least to help by peeling/chopping veggies and doing the dishes after (properly! Not just the plates and cutlery but the pans too and wiping down the counters etc)

Over the years I gradually taught him to cook, started with basic easy stuff and worked up from there. By the time we split he was perfectly capable of doing and planning at least a weeks worth of meals.

I also taught him about nutrients and their benefits and thus why it’s not healthy to eat a limited range/eat the same thing constantly - he was also extremely fussy when I met him there were literally 6 foods he would eat and 2 of them were bread and potatoes! Again down to his mother (she’s otherwise a lovely lady but she spoiled all her dc far too much on food side and they all ended up ridiculously fussy to the point they weren’t healthy in 2 cases)

@RobertSmithdoesmyhair how exactly is he “wonderful” if he’s of no practical use?!

Those posters where the non cooking partner makes up for it elsewhere - absolutely fine as long as the division of labour is genuinely fair and both parties happy.

But where the non cooking party is simply lazy and selfish that’s not on.

Those posters where the non cooking partner makes up for it elsewhere - absolutely fine as long as the division of labour is genuinely fair and both parties happy.

I suspect that's not always the case though.

"He does all the DIY though" - Yeah not 3 times a fucking day

"He takes the bins out" - Whoopee, once a week or once a fortnight?

All these people whose husbands/partners can't cook or you had to train to cook. How did they stay alive before they met you?

Can't cook or won't cook?

Ex and I both learned to cook so we could feed our future children. Before that we were stick a ready made pie in the oven sort of couple.

Mine is a very good cook, though he always uses a recipe, we probably cooks at least three time a week, then I cook three times, then out one night, in lockdown he has been cooking more like 5 nights a week to my two.

I always cook, because I am always the first home. I also like the autonomy of the planning and shopping - I’m not sure how I’d feel about just being presented with a meal every night- I like to choose it myself!. DH does the clearing up and is an appreciative eater. At the moment I am also doing all the housework and ironing as I have been furloughed, but it’s more equal when I am working too.

Oh I'd really hate that. Me and my husband alternate - if he'd said he couldn't cook when we got together I think I still would have insisted that he does his fair share, how else would he learn? I got lucky though I guess.

DH's limits are nachos and instant ramen so he does the dishes. Before he met me he pretty much ate: microwave curries, the aforementioned nachos and ramen, chicken nuggets or tenders, variations on fries.

The balance of labour thing I'm okay with. I get more annoyed with his lack of passion for food. It's just fuel for him- he'd eat the same thing 3 meals a day forever if it was easy.

I've never heard of 'ramen' before. Must Google.

I have always done all the cooking. My husband is amazing and a wonderful father but he does not cook. I have always made his lunch and doubt it will change now. The only thing he does is make the odd sandwich for himself. I put my foot down early in lock down. I have decided that anyone who wants a bacon sandwich must make their own. And he does. He will also cook fish fingers.

But while he supports me in every way cooking dinner is a small price to pay.