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Original poster

Does anyone's dp not cook at all?!

278 replies

milkey · 07/05/2020 17:15

Dp never ever cooks. At. All.

I hate cooking. I hate having the headache of planning what to cook every single day.

It drives me mad! And I will be teaching my ds how to cook as I don't want him being like this with his dp!

I envy all these mumsnetters who share the cooking. Most of my friends dps don't cook either! Where have you all found these men?!

OP posts:
Lostvoiced · 07/05/2020 18:23

My DP does most of the cooking. I tend to do special meals like roasts.

Not to be rude but why do you put up with it?

FizzyPink · 07/05/2020 18:23

Yes mine is the same. Although I like it this way as it means I never have to clean the kitchen afterwards to his extremely high standards.
Before I moved in with him he lived off pizza, freezer food and kebabs. It baffles me because I love food and thinking about what I’m going to have for dinner but he genuinely couldn’t care less about what he eats.

sillysmiles · 07/05/2020 18:26

You say that if you go away you have cook and freeze meals for him. What happens if you don't? He isn't going to let himself starve. He will eat something.

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General food
NameC101 · 07/05/2020 18:27

Mine can do frozen fish / pizza/ beans on toast, but that’s pretty much it. He usually suggests a takeaway when I’ve had enough and leave it for him to sort out, or something from the cook shop he just has to shove in the oven.

I really wish I had someone to cook for me occasionally, a lovely home cooked meal I didn’t have to shop for / prep / cook. He has no interest in food so I don’t think that will ever change tho!

MrsT1405 · 07/05/2020 18:30

It's a second marriage for both if us and we seem to do half and half on most things. I do the more complicated cooking just cos I'm quicker. Hes drinks and puddings and cleaning up. I do a lot of double or triple meals and freeze so it's easy for either of us to microwave something up. Also I can read a recipe and tell if we'd like it, him not so much. Both my dc were ok cooks, my ds really good. Any man that cant cook or keep his home and person clean is pathetic in my book.

AnnaMagnani · 07/05/2020 18:34

Well yes, he can cook. It's just not food I'm prepared to eat!

I'm busy doing Ottolenghi and he would be opening a tin of stew. Plus now he can't drive (bad eyes) and we live in the middle of nowhere so he can't pop to the shops so we prefer it this way.

If he cooks, I'd have to wash up. No way!

Thighmageddon · 07/05/2020 18:38

My dh does 90% of the cooking.

I fell out of love with it years ago but I do load the dishwasher 90% of the time.

I wouldn't tolerate someone that just expected me to do it.

StarryStarryArm · 07/05/2020 18:43

My ex didn’t. We lived together for nine years, I could probably count the number of times he cooked dinner on my fingers. Since he moved out he’s been cooking himself all sorts of delicious things, so it was clearly just learned incompetence...

Oliversmumsarmy · 07/05/2020 18:53

It's hardly rocket science to make some pasta

Given how my pasta always turns out it might as well be rocket science.

Mine just seems to disintegrate and I am left with this gloopy water

Lockdown has been stressful as usually we eat out a few times per week and dc (17&19) don’t get fed up with veggie burgers oven chips and a can of beans or some veg.

Dc have had to make their own meals and mine if they wanted to eat something different

Katinski · 07/05/2020 18:54

Mine did all the shopping,the cooking AND all the housework and then,when ds came along, the early morning feeds and getting up in the nights tooGrin All the benefits of marrying a round-the-world sailor, great at the 4hrs on, 4 hrs off gig. Can thoroughly recommend you find one of them GrinGrin

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/05/2020 18:55

DH can pretty much cook anything in our regular dinner cycle, accept pasta dishes (he doesn't like pasta) and Yorkshire puddings. I do cook more often, but that's because I'm at home and he's at work.

As to wear I found him... Well it was a ONS that hasnt ended after nearly 15 years, I found him in a nightclub....

Zaphodsotherhead · 07/05/2020 18:58

XP. He could heat stuff up but not cook from scratch. But he liked everything burned so it had the texture of shoe leather anyway.

Mother never taught him. And he always assumed that 'a woman' would do it for him.

He also had no ability to follow a recipe either. I once tried to teach him to make sponge cake. His scales were broken, so when I was trying to measure 4oz sugar I was just pouring and pouring and pouring...and I said 'that's way over 4oz.' He would not have it that the scales were broken and I could tell 4oz by eye. So he made the cakes. And they were more like fudge and we had to throw them away.

But then he eats the same thing every day and sees no need to experiment (or 'learn to cook' as I term it.)

xxxemzyxxx · 07/05/2020 18:59

My DH has never cooked. He does many other things - helps clean, takes the bins out, changes the cat letter trays, does most of the DIY, etc - but has never cooked. He doesn’t even like making his own sandwich for lunch. If ever I’m not there he will get a takeaway or go and eat with his dad.

I’m pregnant now and I think he’s finally starting to realise he’s gonna have to learn as I’m gonna need help when baby is here!

CMOTDibbler · 07/05/2020 18:59

I cannot imagine living with someone so incompetent. Cooking is not rocket science, and something you just do over and over and stop having to follow a recipe exactly.
It's like the trope of men being bad at housework, or organising card - testicles don't make you bad at them, theres just an attitude of letting them get away with it after they do a bad job once

WineLover1234 · 07/05/2020 19:03

My DP cooks too but that's cos he was in the RAF for 15 years so he had to learn! He's a better cook than me! And he does the ironing! Haha. We share the cooking but then i do all other stuff. Must be frustrating OP. Have you talked to your dp about this? ❤️❤️

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 07/05/2020 19:04

Yeah, same here OP

I have two teen boys. Oldest can cook, and is interested, and occasionally helps

DH and youngest teen (15) would live on toast, baked beans, fried eggs and supermarket pizza

I don’t leave them meals thoug
If I am out or on hold they fend for themselves

This leads to them appreciating me a lot after 3 days of coop pizza (and one meal by DS1) Grin

PrincessHoneysuckle · 07/05/2020 19:05

Mine doesnt cook day to day as he works full time and I'm not.When I was recovering from an op in January he cooked dinner for 3 weeks which was nice and he also does breakfast regularly one weekend.I prefer my cooking anyway and I enjoy doing it.If I cba we get a takeaway!

OhTheRoses · 07/05/2020 19:05

DH does not cook. Just switching on the oven baffles him as does shopping. I buy almost all his clothes except for suits and shoes. However, I like cooking and shopping for food.

His redeeming points are that he is very tidy, very good at dishwashering and putting away, pays all the bills and has a brain the size of a planet. He is also very loyal, kind and honest - the sort of chap who takes a £20 note found on the street to a police station.

Rumpusinthejungle · 07/05/2020 19:05

Mine doesn't but it suits us. I hate clearing up after dinner, so he does it, and then makes sure he brings me a cup of tea when he is done!

Frozade · 07/05/2020 19:07

I tend to do most of the cooking as I really love it, but there's been times, some lasting years due to ill health where I haven't been able to, DH cracks on chooses a recipe online or in a book and follows it.

If they can follow instructions at work they can follow a recipe.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 07/05/2020 19:08

On weekends not one weekend

Bookaholic73 · 07/05/2020 19:10

I cook Mon-Thurs
My husband cooks every weekend.
I almost always cook breakfast and he normally does weekend brunch.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/05/2020 19:23

Yeah, neither of us cooks - M and S or Waitrose salads/quiches/ or takeaway

Most cooking we do is a potato in the microwave

Cooking is boring to both of us

momtoolliex · 07/05/2020 19:43

It's actually the opposite in our house - DP does the cooking and I never cook! But he genuinely enjoys it and is an amazing cook so it's a win win for both of us Grin

inwood · 07/05/2020 20:00

I cook as quite frankly I'm better at it, and he clears up. He also does pretty much all the housework so I suck up the cooking and shopping!