Malteaser cake recipe - help a Catholic out

[Lunawuna]

Help on an Ecumenical matter please So I've been dipping into the world of traybakes - I can make a pretty respectable caramel square (nice, thick, chewy caramel!) and Mars bar crispy square, but I need a good recipe for Malteaser cake.

I tried the BBC Good Food recipe the other day and it didn't have that lovely feeling of your pupils dilating with the sweetness of it all like a good traybake normally has. Am I doomed to never get it right because of my lack of Prod blood? Help! How can getting the right ratio of digestive biscuits, butter, syrup and chocolate be so hard?!

I'm normally a good baker! Honest!

You’re doomed. Wrong foot for traybakes .
Yrs, Another Catholic.

I have no idea but now all I want is this traybake. Sounds amazing.

I haven't tried making it but I would expect some Maltese milk drink to be added to give the appropriate flavour. Or perhaps malt syrup?

Malted milk. Stupid autocorrect.I have no idea what Maltese milk is.

No idea but I'd love your caramel square recipe please?

There was a whole thread about catholic traybakes not so long ago.

I had no idea they were a thing until then. (I have no hope, being atheist)

(I can't even get the religion right 😂😂)

@Veterinari this is the caramel square recipe I use. The instructions are very basic.

DH went and had a square of the last malteaser cake for his post-breakfast snack and just came through shaking his head forlornly 🙁

There is a thread in Classics ‘what is the tastiest Protestant traybake?’ - I bet your answer is there! (Mint Aero traybake is best!!)

CATHOLIC traybakes?!?!?

What heresy is this. I think you’ll find it’s fine fluffy baked white goods (scones, soda bread) for them and a core part of our religious institution to make stuff out of condensed milk, sweets and bashed up biscuits!

Although you do get full Protestant marks for having the recipe thriftily handwritten in a notebook.

An ecumenical matter . I watched the catholic / protestant episode of derry girls again last night. Keeping the toaster in the cupboards is really starting to make sense...

Erm also could you just confirm what size of condensed milk that is??

Maybe you should convert to Protestantism and see if that helps?

I can make a pretty good Malteser sponge cake, cupcakes and cheesecake but have never tried what I am assuming to be a no bake traybake - rocky road type?

My assumption would be:
Malted Milk biscuits instead of digestives mixed with some crushed maltesers, probably about 25g Horlicks (or other plain malted drink).

From there use some quantities from your other recipes to get the ratios and consistency right 🙂

No, sorry, it is hopeless.

You may get better results if you wear a small felt beret, a pleated calf length skirt, and court shoes that match your beret as you bash the biscuits. Extremely thick rimmed glasses may also help. Try to visualise having a sister who is married to a man who has a small local chain of shoe shops, or something equally innocuous. Perhaps a brother or uncle who is a vicar/pastor. Imagine you're going to have them over for tea and traybakes after someone comes to church on a random Tuesday night to give a really juicy testimony. You really need to get in the zone. Are you going to do egg sandwiches, or are you going to have mars bar and apple sandwiches? Melt that goddam chocolate like you've been married for 50 years to a man named Mervyn.

Beyond that, I'm afraid I can't help you

Laughing so hard at this.

Though in all seriousness I have a cookbook the ladies in my granny's church did about 30 years ago, do you want me to have a look at their malteser recipe?

I'm a committed traybake maker (also, incidentally, a Prod) and I always get my recipes from a website called Traybakes and More...here's the link to the malteaser square recipe

traybakesandmore.com/?s=Malt

Enjoy - they'll last maybe an hour!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3527870-Which-is-the-tastiest-Protestant-traybake?pg=2

A link to the traybake thread. I am going to have to now revisit and make something today

Aw Beatrix I didn’t realise you knew us!

Lots of love,

Audrey

My mum's recipe (very similar to link above)

146g malteasers
400-500g digestive biscuits (crushed in plastic bag with rolling pin)
226g dairy milk
3tbsp golden syrup
4oz margarine
White choc and roughly chopped and whole malteasers to top.

Melt dairy milk, syrup and Marg slowly.
Add biscuits and malteasers.
Place in fridge and cover with melted white choc when cool.

The range of biscuit weight I think it's the packet size but I prefer towards the lower end where it is nice and chewy.

Also the new trend last time I was home was the new Biscoff ones - didn't get a recipe.

Shockingly enough there's not a specific malteser recipe, but you can exchange the fruit and nuts in these for a few bags of, and it works out the same. The truffle bars are absolutely fecking beautiful as they arw mind

Tiffin bars..

Truffle squares. You're welcome. RIP your teeth