Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

I cannot do this until September, I just fucking can't

384 replies

Elmerrrrrrrr · 05/05/2020 19:09

The press conferences today with Raab and Sturgeon saying it won't be safe to reopen schools any time soon have just sent me into a tailspin. I'm at home with a 3 year old on. Both dh and I are lucky enough to have jobs (for now) but we still work a 40 hour week and both of us have constant calls and meetings. It is impossible to work around ds. Neither of us can be furloughed as we are paid from public funds. We live in a 2 bedroom flat with no garden. I'm used to seeing my mum 3-4 times a week and ds cries every day because he misses her. Every day is relentless and we are working until midnight and getting up at 5 to fit everything in.

I can't do this until September. I just cant.

OP posts:
AnnaNimmity · 05/05/2020 19:13

But even if schools are closed until september, other measures will be relaxed, so you will be able to see your mum and friends.

it will get better!

I sympathise OP, I am on my own with my children and some days I'm so anxious and stressed with it all that I can barely breathe. But it will get easier soon, even if schools don't re-open until Sept.

Frazzled2207 · 05/05/2020 19:15

He said it wouldn’t be safe to open ALL schools soon. I think primary will trump secondary as smaller. I hear you, boys are 4 and 6 and I can’t do this until September either!

dancemom · 05/05/2020 19:18

Me either! I'm gutted, when PM did the conference last week and talked about coming out of lockdown I really thought restrictions would begin to be lifted this week and I'm so depressed at this news.

Original poster
Elmerrrrrrrr · 05/05/2020 19:19

If I could only see my mum that would be something but it doesn't solve the work issue. It is just untenable.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 05/05/2020 19:22

Take unpaid leave ?
Or mortgage holiday?
Hire a nanny (yes, it's allowed)

Original poster
Elmerrrrrrrr · 05/05/2020 19:25

Can't afford to take unpaid leave, and I can't imagine we'd be granted a mortgage holiday

I dont think we even have space for a nanny! Our flat is 500 sq ft.

OP posts:
Fedup21 · 05/05/2020 19:27

Would your 3 year old be at school if it weren’t for lockdown? Or do you mean nursery?

MummaGiles · 05/05/2020 19:28

A nanny doesn’t have to live in, if that’s your only concern. And they are still allowed to work under the current restrictions.

Original poster
Elmerrrrrrrr · 05/05/2020 19:28

He'd be at nursery.

OP posts:
Original poster
Elmerrrrrrrr · 05/05/2020 19:28

But if schools are staying shut I can't see that they'd re open nurseries.

OP posts:
Original poster
Elmerrrrrrrr · 05/05/2020 19:29

It isnt about living in, we just don't have space to have an extra person kicking about all day every day. There's barely room for just us.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 05/05/2020 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

InescapableDeath · 05/05/2020 19:29

Sympathies OP. I prob have it a little easier than you and massively struggling too. All I do is work and ignore my children!

Faffandahalf · 05/05/2020 19:29

Can you alternate your working hours so each of you is responsible for your son?
Even if schools opened that’s irrelevant to you as your child is 3 and nurseries won’t open till all the workplaces are open which is unlikely

My DH work is talking of everyone doing one day a week at work to start with.

I get it. I’ve got an 8 and 4 year old. It’s relentless. At least you don’t have to work and try and homeschool. Small mercies eh?

OneMomentInHistory · 05/05/2020 19:30

Once things are opened up a bit, could your mum take your boy for a couple of days a week? Or could you go and stay with her for a bit, get a bit of a break? Were you planning on taking any annual leave over the summer - even if just playgrounds are open it'll be vastly easier than it is now.

I get it, working with a toddler is nigh on impossible. I'm just hoping that there's enough of a relaxation in the next few weeks to take the pressure off a bit.

MummaGiles · 05/05/2020 19:31

And by the way, I very much sympathise. I reached breaking point yesterday. Had an awful day. And I’m not even working - I’m on maternity with a 5yo as well as baby. I don’t know how working parents are coping, you’re all doing an incredible job in my eyes.

I watched the presser today and Raab was very cagey about schools. It wasn’t a blanket ‘no school at all at the moment’, it was a more nuanced message. I do think there’s hope of primaries and nurseries opening up, even if to limited numbers so attendance won’t be at 100% relative to pre-Covid.

crustycrab · 05/05/2020 19:31

This is the problem. People believing what the press are saying or only hearing the bits that they want to hear in briefings.

From the start it's been clear that this will be slow, lengthy, careful. It's not a newsflash that schools are likely to remain closed much longer.

OP you can do it until September. You might have to. However, it is more than likely that you'll be able to see your mum quite soon. Look at Ireland's plan. We won't be too far behind them.

Original poster
Elmerrrrrrrr · 05/05/2020 19:32

Can you alternate your working hours so each of you is responsible for your son?

How? We both do 40 hours and we both have to be around during office hours for calls and meetings.

Even if schools opened that’s irrelevant to you as your child is 3 and nurseries won’t open till all the workplaces are open which is unlikely

Surely they have to go hand in hand as a huge number of people won't be able to work if nurseries and other early years settings don't open?

In any case I have never seen any announcement about nurseries, they only seem to be focusing on schools.

OP posts:
crustycrab · 05/05/2020 19:32

"We all knew it would be staggered with primaries likely first. From June."

When has that been said? Either I've missed something or it hasn't.

underneaththeash · 05/05/2020 19:34

Primaries will go back in June. Don't worry too much OP.

f83mx · 05/05/2020 19:36

Are work not offering any compromise? You have caring responsibilities how do they think you can work 40 hours?

JasonPollack · 05/05/2020 19:36

It hasn't been said.

What childcare do you normally have, your mum? Could you move in with her?

underneaththeash · 05/05/2020 19:36

I've just seen that your child is 3. I've no idea about nurseries.

Can you use sitters for a few hours every couple of days?
www.sitters.co.uk

SirChing · 05/05/2020 19:37

Ok OP, this sounds harsh but you say you "can't do it". What are your options then? You either force nursery to reopen (unlikely), hire a Nanny or childminder, go and quarantine with your mum or........what?

I know it's hard, believe me. But you can't change your situation by wishing it away!

Mummyoflittledragon · 05/05/2020 19:37

You are not alone. I’m very grouchy and in tears every day. I desperately need major surgery and am exhausted. I have chronic fatigue and Dh has been feeding us a lot of the time and looking after me while I help Dd with school work. She’s so contentious and precise. She is first year of secondary but wants an inordinate amount of input. Dh has been looking after me, dressing me at times, feeding me but this is just too much. He’s going back to work in a couple of weeks. Idk how I will cope.