I cannot do this until September, I just fucking can't

[Elmerrrrrrrr]

The press conferences today with Raab and Sturgeon saying it won't be safe to reopen schools any time soon have just sent me into a tailspin. I'm at home with a 3 year old on. Both dh and I are lucky enough to have jobs (for now) but we still work a 40 hour week and both of us have constant calls and meetings. It is impossible to work around ds. Neither of us can be furloughed as we are paid from public funds. We live in a 2 bedroom flat with no garden. I'm used to seeing my mum 3-4 times a week and ds cries every day because he misses her. Every day is relentless and we are working until midnight and getting up at 5 to fit everything in.

I can't do this until September. I just cant.

It’s safer to see your parents now than it will be when the kids will be back at school, if you think about it. Do your own risk assessment. Create your own bubble with their household if you think you can isolate yourselves.

Are work not offering any compromise? You have caring responsibilities how do they think you can work 40 hours?

I mean they make the right noises but at the end of the day I'm expected to be available for meetings 9-6 so it doesn't really add up.

Usually he'd be in nursery 5 days a week.

I would love to quarantine with my mum but she lives with my stepdad and my 2 brothers and she doesn't have the space for us.

Many years ago I was sectioned due to multiple suicide attempts and I'm so terrified of sliding into that place again. I can't bear it.

@underneaththeash

Confident statement. Where are you getting that from?

The thing is nobody has said a thing about private nurseries. And the "school isn't childcare" thing doesn't stand here. It is bloody childcare and we bloody pay for it.

I can't do it until September either op. I'm furloughed so I don't have the same stress you do but I won't have a job if I can't actually go back in.

This needs to be addressed.

"Primaries will go back in June"

Stop spouting opinion as fact.

And it wouldnt be a safe bubble either, my stepdad has his own kids to see who live with their mother and her partner, who also has his own kids. That's without even factoring in my brothers who will want to see their girlfriends as soon as they can. It is just impossible.

Primaries will go back in June. Don't worry too much OP.

And you know this definitively, because...?

You are doing it. It might be hard, but start by congratulating yourself.

Things will like ease before September even if nurseries don't reopen. I think you will be able to see your Mum sooner rather than later.

I think you need to push your work to allow you shorter hours. You can't both work 40 hours and also look after a 3 year old! How's he coping? I sympathise though as I am also in a flat with kids and it's hard.

I feel your pain. If this goes on until September I will be deranged.

I’d be comfortable seeing my parents now, but I wouldn’t if my kids were at school.

He isn't coping. None of us are. DH's work are even worse than mine.

Why can't you see your mum? The whole point of 🔒 down is to ease transmission rates... I know several grannies living alone, not going out whose children won't see them. And yet they work from home and also get deliveries?..

So where is the transmission risk?

How socially distant have you and your mum been? Could you move her in?

How important are these meetings? Lots of places have meetings for the sake of meetings- use this time to drive the company away from pointlessly ones?

Op if you can’t be furloughed you can be off on paid leave if public sector, if you have caring responsibilities. That’s why you can’t be furloughed as the public money is already there available to you. Have you asked?

Gobbolinocat

My mum doesn't live alone. She lives with a partner who has kids of his own, who live with their mother, who lives with her partner, who also has his own kids to see, who live with their mother.

Thats without even thinking about my brothers (who also live with my mum) and their girlfriends.

Hmm. I see. So for you nursery would actually be better, as long as you didn’t see your mum.

Could she come and stay with you for a while? I know you don’t have much space, but if you need the break?

Scottish schools won’t go back in June! They close half way through the month (or towards the end) for the summer.

I am not in the public sector, I am in the voluntary sector but the money is considered public funds. I cannot take a large amount of paid leave, only normal annual leave which won't cover this.

And I've been told I can't take annual leave right now either as jts too busy and I'm needed to cover staff sickness.

Could your mum come and stay for a couple of weeks? Normally I'd say just stick it out if you can reduce your hours but now you've explained how severely you've suffered from mental health issues previously it seems worth it

Is your DS nursery open for key workers?
Are you a key worker?
Some nurseries are still taking key worker children even if parents are working from home.

I will have to see my mum at some point regardless of who she lives with tbh, I cant not see her til there is a vaccine

I am not considered a key worker no.

Could you go off sick like your colleagues? Personally if I was scared for my health then I would