Badly explain your job

[Greenandcabbagelooking]

Because I think we all need a laugh at the moment! Inspired by a Twitter hashtag, explain your job (or an old one) and guess what other posters’ jobs were.

I use dangerous chemicals and fire around children.

Chasing boys across a muddy field.

I try to frighten people, in particular women.

I often feel like a nanny to 32 NT adults who moan about ridiculous things.

@Pickles89 really close! I’m a cardiac physiologist :)

I move paper

I drive around giving people stuff to throw away.

@hollowtalk you are a OB?

@MoverOfPaper
No clue?

I clean people’s blood for them.

I threaten crying children with GBH.

I prevent people fixing temporary problems with a permanent solution.

I sit in the dark watching people live and on screens, and tell others what to do and when to do it.

I sit at a laptop and drink tea a lot. I make people sound better than they can themselves. I also attend events several times a month where I try to convince people to pay me to make them sound better than they can themselves.

I work for people that constantly tell me that I'm doing it wrong (despite them have no practical knowledge) and being blamed for pretty much all of the bad things in the world. You need me to survive (every single day) and I'm almost always missed off the 'let's be thankful for the key workers' memes so prevalent right now.

@musiciantom are you a show/movie producer?

I answer phone calls, and tell people what to do, where to go and how long for, while organising their travel and accommodation if needed.

Apparently I just sit and answer phones all day.... I am also a paid skivvy to 45 adults and many children who all want things done right away, I also get grief from another bunch of adults who think they are the only person/s I deal with in the day and that when they click their fingers I should jump!
I do love my job though

Im a night watchperson, drug dealer, cleaner, entertainer and a big family person.

I tell people they cannot do what they want to do, to because they think it will be a good thing.

@OhNoNoNoNotThatOne

No. I do work in live entertainment, but much lower down the food chain

Grim reaper

@BlueGheko
I stick things up bums and often get peed on!
Vet?

I’m not sure if I am a wedding organiser or a firefighter.

@JustFrigginNameChange
Sick people ask me to send strangers round their house to kidnap them
NHS phone advisor who orders ambulances?

Failing to try to persuade people to stay safe at work

I listen to the dramas of teenagers

@fodderbeet GP receptionist 😂

(The ones at my surgery are totally lovely for the record!)