Anyone else want a No Judgement rant thread?

[31weeksgone]

This fucking sucks.

The whole thing bloody sucks. We’re in a house, with no garden, with a very “active” 4 year old.

Every single day before lockdown we would be out at the farm/beach/park when not at nursery and work.

DP is a key worker (as was I before I had to stay home to look after her, and started a degree) so whilst I get everyone sacrificing themselves and I’m really grateful, sometimes you need a place to just bloody vent So please don’t jump on me for this.

Stuck at home. With no garden or any outdoor space in this lovely weather, watching everyone out the window enjoying their gardens, with a “D”P I properly hate and was in the process of leaving. I don’t want to feel grateful 24/7 that we’re safe at home, I’m not grateful I’m stuck in, and I want to wallow for 20 minutes without having to be gracious 😡😡

Want to shake anyone who preaches not to go for a walk and to stay home. You’re allowed out for a walk!! It seems none of my neighbours know this the looks I’m getting, I also have to take food to my parents an hour away so no doubt I look dodgy driving away once a week for a few hours.

I was so looking forward to my last summer with my daughter before she started school. Now it’s this.

Anyone else want to rant/wallow/have a pity party please join my thread. No judgement here

Please can I join in a rant? I'm lucky that I have a garden. I have 3 kids 15, 13 and 11, neither wants anything to do with the other, so there is 'tension' constantly. My 11 dd has asd and is petrified to leave the house for a walk as she's convinced she'll get ill. She's refused pretty much all school work set by school. She's so upset that she couldn't say goodbye to her friends and will, probably start her secondary school with little or no transition. My eldest is missing out on his gcse's, and therefore doesn't see the point of doing anything, apart ftom sleeping or xbox. My dh is a keyworker and gas been working 6 days a week, I'm petrified he's going to get ill. They've refused to furlough him, he's basically got to be there all the time.
I have been really ill for about 4/5 weeks with what I think could be covid-19, terrible cough, awful asthma attacks, 2 courses of antibiotics and steroid tabs. My mental health has gone down the pan, I'm scared to go out, I don't want yo go shopping, but I had to go to the chemist today to get antibiotics for middle child's cough.
I'm missing work, I work in a school but because of asthma have been put vulnerable list and feel guilty for that. I'm also at uni and meant to be doing an essay but I'm exhausted and fall asleep loads.
Sorry, thats really moany.

@FooFightersFan he says when you freeze meat it changes it somehow and makes it crap for roasting or quick cooking. He says it’s fine for things like long slow cooking but we’d have a roast and ducks don’t take long to roast, he claims they will be tougher if you just roast meat that has previously been frozen.
I don’t know, I don’t care, I’m sure there is some science behind it, He tends to know his way round the kitchen and is always tinkering in the kitchen. But at that precise moment in time, him twatting about over the fucking ducks was just winding the shit up out of me

Thanks to everyone suggesting things I can do, I’ve hijacked the little car park out front for my daughter to do chalking in, and will let her play out there in the daytime too. I’m also letting her do kids yoga on YouTube, and screw it tomorrow I’m going to walk around a mile to the nearest field (empty) and let her play ball games and have a sit down snack and play. Fed up of people saying “no football games” well when it’s only you and your DC in the middle of a field I’m going to let her!

Everyone feel free to rant away, it’s cathartic to get it out, I’m not ignoring anyone it just moved really quickly and it’s toddler bedtime

@the80sweregreat - they really were (The 80's that is)

You don't need to get a grip, I think that motivation has gone out the window and everything just seems so bloody pointless and stressful at the moment.

It's the not being able to see an end to it all which I think is what is affecting everyone the most. If there was a possible date we could aim for where there is some sort of promise that things may improve, it would be much easier to bear, and I dare say, those who continue to flout the rules, would also stay in as they would be sure it's a temporary situation.
With no end in sight as it were, there's bound to be people who think "well, fuck it" more and more everyday.

ALSO - what the fuck do men do for SO long in the toilet?! Drives me insane. Always needs the toilet when something needs doing..

Hit him with the frozen duck. Hard.

@31weeksgone

I DONT KNOW!

It's a complete mystery. DP could have re tiled the bathroom going by the amount of time he spends in there. Most annoying as it's always as we are about to go out.

@TheChosenTwo - so why doesn't he take the time to broaden his culinary horizons and use a recipe for slow roast duck? There are some really tasty ones!

@TheChosenTwo let him order the extra fat. You'll need plenty of lubrication to get them up his arse.

@TheChosenTwo suggest donating the ducks to a food bank, that’ll shut him up

@MamaBearThius Jesus at 31 weeks pregnant I’d be screaming at everyone at this point, pregnancy was horrific for me so you have my sympathies, everything hurt and everyone was annoying by 30 weeks. It’s super upsetting isn’t it this is our final summer before they go to school, not what I had planned for us at all. I wanted to make it really special and prepare her for school and now that’s all out of the window!!

God I need this thread. I feel bad that I hate life so much as we are not in that bad a position - both still have jobs on full pay, we aren’t ill etc etc. But OH MY GOD I hate life right now. I have had depression in the past and am definitely heading back there. I am loathe to call the doctors though as I don’t want to go back on antidepressants, when I know exactly what will sort it out: getting out the house, seeing my friends, playing sport. I don’t like FaceTime as I am feeling down about the way I look (still haven’t lost baby weight from a year ago - was just starting to have some luck with slimming world before we went in to lockdown, plus my hair is a mess and my eyebrows look awful, and videoing myself for work has highlighted just how ugly my teeth are). Everyone else at my sports club is posting daily workouts which I can’t do as I have a one year old, once she’s in bed all I want to do is crash, and I hate workouts anyway - I do team sports to keep fit for that very reason. I also like running but if I run I shouldn’t really also go out for a walk with my daughter which means she’s stuck in all day. No garden at the moment. I obviously love my daughter but I am such a crap mum right now, I’m miserable and can’t be bothered organising fun stuff for her to do. I just want to scream with the monotony of it all. There is literally nothing enjoyable about life at the moment and nothing to look forward to. Ever.

@Otterses my OH is reserves so can sympathise with you there. The build up is so stressful to them going away that I actually wish he hurry up and go, and then I’m annoyed because I know it’ll be hard work. But honestly sometimes it’s easier on your own, not two chefs trying to stir one pot. Although bloody soul destroying some days. You’ll be ok At least he can’t annoy you whilst he’s away!

I took it all for granted. I took going into a shop for granted! I feel bad that it's taken such a human tragedy as this awful virus for me to see that such a simple act I've done for many years is now not the norm any more! It's quite sad to be fair.

At least the ducks didn't die in vain, they've given us no end of amusement.

My CV related...
But I HATE MY MOTHER IN LAW! I’ve done nothing but be kind and helpful but she’s just an entitled, aggressive and manipulative piece of work.
I literally could write a novel as long as war and peace with all the awful things she’s done.
Try and go no contact it gets so much more worse.
During pregnancy she was an absolute nightmare and now she’s even worse he’s here.
Husband is great at keeping her away and I’ve made no secret to him of how I dislike her, I have been kind for years to keep peace (on my side atleast!) but now I have my son to protect from her erratic and destructive behaviour.
She’s tarred quite a few memories that would have been beautiful by ruining them in anyway she’s found to be most hurtful.

Oh I feel a little better. Thank you.

@modgepodge so much sympathy for you, really not having any fresh air is so bloody soul destroying and seeing everyone having such a fab time is edging me towards bad mental health too. It IS SO monotonous, same here I love my daughter but Jesus Christ I’m so bored. I don’t want to play kids games sat crossed legged on the fucking floor, I want some peace and quiet!! You’re not alone!

A because of her behaviour I LOVE being in lockdown. I’m absolutely dreading it being lifted because she’ll be at my front door within 15 minutes.
Please send help, or a bigger pair of lady balls.

Yep as grateful and lucky as I am to be having another healthy baby girl, it has been the worst time of my entire life (which has had some rather shitty times!) Hospitalised twice for Hyperemesis in the early days, then again 5 weeks ago for a mega bleed (Placenta previa, oh what fun) and now I'm a giant shouty waddley hippo with the worst SPD and PGP. Honestly my husband lovingly asked me a few days ago "when does the glow come?"
Every night when little one falls asleep and I look lovingly at her derpy sleep face I promise myself that tomorrow I will sing songs and bake and play and dress up and dance and be the best Mum ever. Then morning comes...

@ChrisPrattsFace fucking mother in law’s. This is really outing but one year mine gave my SIL and her darling sons cheques. I got cash (much much smaller amount) because I wasn’t old enough to know how to use a cheque and didn’t need the same amount of money as them yet. I’d had her grand baby at this point - bastard!

When lockdown is lifted you may just be the “unlucky ones who keep getting it on repeat and have to self isolate”

@MamaBearThius the glow doesn’t come for some, its a really horrible myth. Makes me angry You’re giving her a sister, what a wonderful thing you’re doing. She won’t remember this part. And you may be a hippo, but you’re growing a baby so it’s allowed.

Another little rant from me: Is anyone else finding that they're having to do/change/follow up on some things 2 or 3 times because external communication i.e. sending things by post is messed up? There are some things which must be sent by snail mail and the amount of follow up due to letters informing me of things happening THE SAME DAY THE LETTER IS DATED that I needed to know about is driving me bonkers!

Okay, I'm doing my best, and generally doing well, to appear resilient, keep a stiff upper lip and be positive.

But could I please join for a wee wallow?

We booked to fly home to NZ for the first time in two years in July. I'd give anything to turn back time and still be in NZ. I expect we will not be going, would not be surprised if we didn't have to kiss £5k goodbye that we spent on the flights, if my 82 year old mother gets sick, I'm fricking screwed. I always promised myself and her that if she got seriously poorly, I'd get home and be there for her.

So short-sighted of me not to factor in the possibility and issues raised by global pandemic.

DH is working so hard, but goddamn, I should not know so much about this business, listening to him on meetings/teleconferences up to 14 hours a day.

DD is being so brave about losing the opportunity to earn her grades the hard way for exams, to lose prom, to lose the school trip.

Other DD, ditto about losing her school trip.

They've already been through the bloody quakes, haven't they suffered enough? It took us years to get youngest DD over her PTSD from that.

I feel a failure as a parent.

Every time I look to go back to work, something happens that means I can't.

We've spent the last 10 years reacting, surviving, and I'm bloody sick of it.

Sorry.

Thank you.

I do get why people go out and flout the rules. People also have to work ; they probably are even more fed up. Told to stay home , but they can't stay home as they have to earn a living. It's all so hard and unfair.

Honestly have tried to have a civilised relationship with her, tried even harder when my son came along...
She demanded to come on Christmas and we work up to her on the driveway. The whole time she was here she completely ignored me, started opening our presents with him. The first time she spoke to me was ‘where’s my cup of tea, you’re not a good host’
Thanks. Time limited five minutes, say good bye and get out.
I hate her. I hope I’m never like that!