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Anyone else want a No Judgement rant thread?

309 replies

31weeksgone · 08/04/2020 16:05

This fucking sucks.

The whole thing bloody sucks. We’re in a house, with no garden, with a very “active” 4 year old.

Every single day before lockdown we would be out at the farm/beach/park when not at nursery and work.

DP is a key worker (as was I before I had to stay home to look after her, and started a degree) so whilst I get everyone sacrificing themselves and I’m really grateful, sometimes you need a place to just bloody vent Sad So please don’t jump on me for this.

Stuck at home. With no garden or any outdoor space in this lovely weather, watching everyone out the window enjoying their gardens, with a “D”P I properly hate and was in the process of leaving. I don’t want to feel grateful 24/7 that we’re safe at home, I’m not grateful I’m stuck in, and I want to wallow for 20 minutes without having to be gracious 😡😡

Want to shake anyone who preaches not to go for a walk and to stay home. You’re allowed out for a walk!! It seems none of my neighbours know this the looks I’m getting, I also have to take food to my parents an hour away so no doubt I look dodgy driving away once a week for a few hours.

I was so looking forward to my last summer with my daughter before she started school. Now it’s this.

Anyone else want to rant/wallow/have a pity party please join my thread. No judgement here Flowers

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Hoggleludo · 08/04/2020 22:04

Oh me please!

I miss my mum. I miss her house. I miss the outdoors! I'm under the extremely vulnerable category. Me and my kids haven't been out for 3 weeks. We've never spent more than 2 days indoors. And my eldest is 7!! We live in the forest. And by the sea. So we're either at both!

I miss my cleaner. Shit I know. But she's also a dear friend. So she's an angel to me! My kids miss their friends. We've got a beautiful house. But a truly shit garden. Fortunately we live in a small road and all of the neighbours have told me they don't mind the kids being out the front. Which had been a life saver.

I miss ranting about my dh to my mum. He's got a bit over the top with the whole stressing about the corona.

I miss the few hours they had at school for some me time.

Thank you for letting me rant. Such a shit time for so many of us.

Bluewavescrashing · 08/04/2020 22:07

I'm so pissed off that our lovely holiday has been cancelled. It was to a new country I'd never been to, in amazing accommodation that the DCs would have loved, right next to a theme park. I'm just so sad as they would have enjoyed it so much. Can't even get through to lastminute.com for a refund so I've raised a claim with the credit card company. Fucking fuck this fucking virus.

MamaBearThius · 08/04/2020 22:13

@MrsFoggy also having a C-section alone in 5/6 weeks planned or emergency isn't known yet. How are you feeling about it? I've packed a mega suitcase so I've got everything I could need

ChrisPrattsFace · 08/04/2020 22:25

@FishingPaws ‘no’ is just not in her vocabulary.
I’m hoping ‘leave us the fuck alone’ will be though!

KavvLar · 08/04/2020 22:41

My dad died just before this all kicked off. The funeral was yesterday. I had to sort it out all by myself.

It was so strange and I couldn't go over and hug my mum or sisters because of distancing. I miss my mum. Face time doesn't cut it.

I realize now I don't have many pictures of my dad and that makes me sad.

I feel overwhelmed and I keep reading about people cleaning and sorting and decluttering and home schooling.

I can't settle to anything. I can't sleep properly and I keep crying and all I can do is eat and try to keep going for the kids. I am sad.

slartibartfastsbeard · 08/04/2020 22:41

Can I have a really trivial rant? My DH has been on furlough since last Monday. Last week, he got on with jobs around the garden that have needed doing for decades a while. Helpful and considerate around the house while I WFH.

This week, he's turned into fucking Onslow from Keeping Up Appearances, both in attire and lazifuckingness. I finished work today at 6.30 after being cooped up in the spare bedroom/temporary office while he was sunbathing, and he had the fucking cheek to ask me what's for tea!!! When I told him that he and 2 DC (late teens) had had all day to sort it out, WWIII erupted and then it turned out it was all my fault because I hadn't suggested to him that maybe they could sort out fucking tea!!

31weeksgone · 08/04/2020 23:29

@ChrisPrattsFace you never know, she might get corona Grin

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31weeksgone · 08/04/2020 23:30

@KavvLar I’m so so sorry. I don’t have any words to make it better. Be kind to yourself Brew

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31weeksgone · 08/04/2020 23:31

@slartibartfastsbeard join the fucking useless DH club Star

We all deserve chocolate and gin!

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CoupeCourte · 08/04/2020 23:43

@mbosnz Thanks from a fellow kiwi overseas (although I am a bit closer to home!). I was supposed to be going back to see my family in March - that obviously didn't happen - and some friends I haven't seen in two years were coming to visit this month - that's off, too.

I am petrified that my grandparents will get sick and that I won't see them in time. I'm increasingly frightened about my parents - my mum's a key worker - and aunts, uncles too. I understand NZ's total lockdown elimination strategy but if they're really talking about not opening the borders again until a vaccine is found, it might be a long time before I see anyone again and that's hard to take.

I'm also living in an apartment with a big balcony and lots of glass sliding doors onto it. Great! Except next door, parallel to the balcony, is under construction. The builders seem to come for about six hours every morning, make a massive racket, paint one windowsill and then bugger off again. Their progress is glacial, there's a big team of them here every day and because of the house layout, I feel like I'm under constant surveillance. This wasn't so bad when we were only here at the weekends, but right now I feel frankly murderous.

Madein1995 · 09/04/2020 00:49

Can I have a rant /moan?

My fucking ankle is wrecking due to me being sensible and going for a long walk today.

I spilt all my pens over my pens and spent ages picking them up.

WiFi in my lodgings is shite, particularly with landlady working from home and her son on his laptop all day. Trying to watch my smart TV of an evening is so fucking frustrating.

Landlady's son is in shower at this time of night rendering bathroom unusable for 40mins. He also likes to play his guitar at 2am. Yet when I talk a little loudly on my phone at midnight he has his mum come and speak to me. Twat.

Man on bus (with can of lafer) sits directly behind me despite there being loads of seats. When I move I'm called a stupid cow.

A kinda friend calling me paranoid for doing social distancing. He informs me that he is still seeing friends etc, that covid is exaggerated and it won't affect him so he's carrying on as usual.

Said friend saying he felt lonely etc so I sent him links to wattaapp recovery groups and zoom na meetings. He's completely ignored them and is still seeing his friend.

My dad making me feel guilty for not ringing me on my birthday - I thought he ought to have called me but no I was being funny and could have rang.

Work still texting about work stuff even though I'm on annual leave for a week.

A bit of work equipment still not turned up. It was being sent last week and without it I cannot access work emails or networks. I'm having to do reports etc from home 3x a week and schlep to the office 2x week to check emails and action stuff. Which means a bus journey. I could really do without the risk.

Being expected to be brimming with gratitude. Yes I have a job and no I'm not unwell. I don't think that's thr gold standard of life to be honest and yes I am grateful. I'm also frustrated and pissed off at being kept in, annoyed with an incompetent government who seem content to keep is all caged in and to spend billions of pounds doing so, am frustrated and upset and pissed off in general. But I'm not allowed to voice or even feel that because 'I'm lucky'. Unless you work for the NHS you're fucked. I went to the supermarket after work the. Other day wearing my lanyard, after doing a full day plus ridiculous time spent travelling due to reduced services. The guy saw my lanyard and asked if I was NHS, I said no probation and he nodded as if to say stay in the queue. NHS are applauded (quite rightly), they're clapped but given inadequate supplies and are treated like heroes. Which yes they are, but they also chose the job just like I did mine. I'd be embarrassed if someone clapped for me for doing my job!

People saying lockdown is relaxing. They can't work so spending time with kids and they're grateful to slow down. Ffs there families out there who are unemployed and struggling to feed their kids yet you're posting saying how great life is.

A guy in an online na meeting visibly rolling his eyes and sighing when I was crying during my share and opening up about past trauma, how it's affected me and how I felt as a child. That one made me angry. And the deadpan 'thanks madein'. Only 2 people in the meeting aid thank you nicely and sincerely. I've heard so many women sya they'd never share so openly in mixed meetings as men don't empathise and now I realise why

I miss my team so much. I miss my service users more and really worry for them. Lots of them will have lost their jobs and be struggling to feed their families. With the reduced police response atm ad they're busy fining Joe public for sunbathing, it'd be very tempting for them to offend again. Many of them have so so much to lose and I hope to god they stay strong. I worry about them feeding themselves. I worry about the substance abusers relapsing, particularly those I've not been able to get in touch with. I worry about alcohol intake increasing and I worry about domestic violence rising. They have all the same worries we have. It's really hard to stay professional on the phone when they're flapping and you hear the panic and you feel that way too.

Feel so pissed off when na person who's lapsed more times than I can count, and is 2days clean atm, tells me I'm doing recovery wrong and need to ring more people and do x, y and z or ill lapse. When they say I should ditch my subutex script and use lockdown as an opportunity to do my rattle. When I refuse they say I'm basically signing my death warrant. And that addiction is more serious than csrona.

Ginger1982 · 09/04/2020 07:11

Ach, more ranting from me...

We had to cancel my DH's 40th that we had carefully planned and organised and all his big gifts from me were holidays and experiences that I doubt he'll get to enjoy this year. I was so excited in January when I booked them and it felt so anti climactic on the day. I was more upset than him. DS is 3 this weekend and it's just going to be same shit different day in this house 😕

yearinyearout · 09/04/2020 07:16

You need to ignore your bloody twatty neighbours. Go to the parks. Maybe find areas to walk between home and your parents place for a change of scenery. Do what you have to do to get through and just minimise risk.

Mombie2016 · 09/04/2020 07:33

Lone parent, first year Biomed student, 3DC ages 11, 9 and 4. 9YO has ASD/ADHD. Bigger than average 3 bed terrace but with a 6 foot yard as close to the city centre.

My shower has broken, only throws out freezing cold water, me and my DC have really long thick hair and bath/jug washing is wrecking my back.

Really struggling to get any work done, middle kid usually does gymnastics 4 times a week and isn't now, so isn't getting enough exercise and her coping mechanisms are stretched to breaking point.

ExDP is doing all my food shopping, but is a key worker so it's a doorstep drop and he can only Skype the kids which sucks for all of them.

Gigabitten · 09/04/2020 07:33

Saying just ignore your twatty neighbours is easier said than done when they've made your life difficult and uncomfortable for years.

Gigabitten · 09/04/2020 07:38

Speaking of neighbours, their kids decided to have a full blown argument at 2am. waking us all up. This then set off their youngest child screaming, then the parents started shouting.

So now, after the crap day yesterday, I've still got this headache, I'm boiling hot and shattered.

And there's no point going round to have a word, as this is the person who thought it was perfectly acceptable to play loud music and start drilling into the walls past midnight before they even moved in!

My only hope is that when his mate moves (who is on the other side of me) he'll quieten down as he hasn't got his fat arrogant bullying backup behind him.

Gigabitten · 09/04/2020 07:43

@Mombie2016
Welcome, misery loves company and all that.

Showers breaking are the pits. Could you try to replace it yourself (I had to when mine went) or get one of those rubber mixer hose things?

bakedbeanzontoast · 09/04/2020 08:05

I've got an ED and BDD which is exacerbated by not being out and about and busy. I'm going insane with it.

I will almost certainly lose my job now, currently furloughed and the boredom is driving me mad(Der).

I am fed up of the 'stay the fuck home' moral majority.

Dowser · 09/04/2020 08:16

Mrs foggy
If you’re dad is kicking offf big style you might be eligible for chc funding
I got it for my mum

Dowser · 09/04/2020 09:25

Oh god, I feel for you all. Especially cooped up with kids. I had that when my three under 5 years old were little . Sunday’s when nothing was open we’re the worst, in winter and I hated Easter with a passion when all you got on tv was a dirge of chamber music.
Never been a fan of Easter on account of it. I used to give the kids their eggs on good Friday just to cheer us all up.

So I’m right with you on this cooped up malarkey . I think the mh problems I’m experiencing go all the way back to that.

There’s just me and dh here and we get along lovely. It’s quiet and peaceful.
I just seem to be stuck in the rut of grieving for my lost life. As I’m sure we all are.

We are coming round to the first of the things we will be missing. A weekend dowsing in Wiltshire at the end of the month followed by our annual trip to friends in dorset and family in Cardiff
We live 6-7 hours drive away from them so only get to meet up a couple of times a year..and we’re all getting older

So it well sucks.

This was meant to be my year. After a tough one last year when I wasn’t well at all and dragged myself through a lot of stuff. This year I’ve completely changed my life around and was looking forward to it with gusto..so yes, it feels like I’m getting a right good kicking ..only from another direction.

The house is pretty tidy as I declutterers from jan 1 to March 1 before we went on holiday. I could do a bit more. Bake a bit more gf and df cakes and bread. Paint. Do the garden. Read all my books.

No, I’d just rather wallow.
So, I really need to sort my head out.
Dh bless him, just goes along on an even keel. He doesn’t feel things like I do or maybe just deals with it better.
So when I’m ready , I’ll pull up my big girl pants and do something constructive..but my thoughts are with you all.

mbosnz · 09/04/2020 09:39

@CoupeCourte

It's shit, isn't it?!

I hope so much your family stay safe and well. Flowers to you, and if you're so inclined, a cheeky Wine (Marlborough Sav' Blanc by my personal preference!)

Potterspotter · 09/04/2020 10:21

Saw the IFS tweeting about the long term effects on mental and physical health this morning.

Potterspotter · 09/04/2020 10:25

@bakedbeanzontoast that’s really tough, Easter etc bad enough for EDs in the first place. I’d be thinking about medical need to go out more - we’ve been out first thing and twilight some days and is very quiet then.

CuriousPixie · 09/04/2020 10:33

My rant isn’t even about my own situation. But I’m sick of the news telling us the same fecking (boring) snippet of information about ONE covid patient because he’s the fecking PM. I never knowingly wish harm on anyone but the overwhelming vigil of goodwill towards one person whose past form has been questionable reeks of hypocrisy just because folk don’t want to appear to lack empathy.

Whilst I don’t wish I’ll upon him I will not give him more sympathy than other folk who are also suffering.

31weeksgone · 09/04/2020 10:46

Here’s to another shit day flowers] rant away if you need too! If I’m not replying it’s because I’m up to my eyes in play doh.

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