Friends offer. To stay in their secluded large country home,leaving tomorrow. Help.

[RubyViolet]

Husband just though cancer treatment. Declared cancer free only 1 month ago. Although he has to be tested every 3 months for foreseeable. Totally stressed.
Wonderful friends of 20 years offering us indefinite stay with them in their large country home. They are self isolated 7 days. We are self isolated 10 days.
It’s an hour from our place in central London, l am getting so anxious about my husband and getting shopping. They have acres and acres. Not far from major shopping towns in the county but isolated.
What do we need to consider. What is your advice. Leaving early tomorrow. Should we ?

House insurance generally invalidated if house if left empty for more than 28 days

The op and dh, and the friends have isolated for a number of days with no symptoms between them.

@WatcherintheRye they haven't isolated for the number of days that are required to know if they are virus-free so that is of no consolation. And if they're being that loose with the rules, who knows if they've truly isolated or done the popped-to-the-shop-but-still-feeling-fine kind. Besides the OP's partner, as a vulnerable group, should be isolating for 12 weeks so they're nowhere near the right number to be going anywhere.

Anyway, OP has made the right decision (although it should never have been a question and certainly isn't a 'massive moral dilemma' as the rules are so clear). But hopefully this thread is also useful for all the other people who don't seem to get it first, second or the nth time.

No you should definitely NOT go. You are putting more people into the mix....they will be popping out to the shops no doubt. Even if you do have your own room/bathroom you will still undoubtedly be in the same room as them at some point. Far too risky for anyone, let alone with your DH circumstances.
I do hope you haven’t gone this morning.

OP, we are trying to ease the burden on the NHS.

Apart from the obvious CV risks, your friends have a 2 hour round trip. Possibly via motorway.

What happens if all 4 of you are involved in a serious RTA involving hospital?

My biggest worry with this would be

1. you have no GP support in the new location for minor ailments or urgent prescriptions.
2. security of your home in London in the event of civil unrest or heightened crime. For these reasons I’d stay put.

I know the idea of it sounds nice, but the rule to stay at home is there to be followed, not for people to bend because it’s ok in their own head. Sure, it might be fine - but if every household made their own interpretation of the rules then we’re just inviting the spread of the virus.

Go and dont look back

You're planning to move in with people who could start showing signs of being infected within hours of your arrival.

You're planning on moving to a remote area and adding to the demans for food and other supplies, so cutting down waht's available for people who actually live there.

You're planning on potentially taking up hospital beds and ventilators in the area and depriving someone who has no choice but to live in the area of them.

While you're driving there you could have an accident and take up emergency services' valuable time and resources.

You're being selfish, inconsiderate and entitled.

What part of STAY AT HOME is so difficult to understand.

The idiots on this thread, who say go and ignore guidelines, are the ones who have brought about this lockdown!
I do hope anyone flouting the guidelines, which will soon be law, remember to refuse a ventilator when they get this virus because of their selfish, ignorant actions!

I am in lockdown because my husband is at the top of the vulnerable persons list. Do I want to stay in all day...no! Do I want to see my family...yes, but I can’t! This is our life for at least 12 weeks and to be honest, probably a lot more, which will be due to selfish, ignorant individuals who think the law doesn’t apply to them!

I asked here for sound advice, not abuse

You came to the wrong place bluntly.

You need to try to speak to your DH's doctors for advice on which is the least worst option not just for him but also considering the additional load another case would create locally.

They can also advise on the likelihood of infection already existing at 10 and 7 days of isolation and the wisdom of traveling there based on your individual circumstances.

Nobody here can give you that individual advice.

Your friends sound like kind and generous people. The sort of people who would invite friends to stay at their house.

Who would also possibly share flour win a neighbour and accept a home made loaf in exchange . Stop and talk to a friend they meet on the path. Invite another friend in dire circumstances to stay. Keep their gardener employed and make sure he gets given a cup of tea and a cake when he comes. Take parcels down to the post office to send a present to an Aunty.

Small things, any one of which could result in the virus being passed on.

OP in your situation you and your husband need to be the ones controlling your access to the outside world. If you are staying in someon else's house, dependent on them for shopping and transport then you are not in control, and however lovely your friends are this means you are at risk.

One of the things people are failing to grasp IMO is that it it individual responsibility that is going to be the important deciding factor. You can not rely on other peoples isolation procedures, only on your own.

we could be back at the cancer unit that is treating my husband in about 50 minutes

If your friends drove you there, presumably, since you don't have a car? I know you've said you won't go now but the above would have put it out of the question for me. You couldn't rely on them to be able to do that.

All the people that were saying the op should go to the country need to take a look at Spain's infection numbers and their number of dead. The virus spread very quickly on the Spanish Costas because the second home owners from Madrid all left Madrid and brought it with them. Plus in the UK the true infection rate isn't know because people aren't being tested in the community. Only when they are in hospital. You need to treat everyone as being infected because a lot of people have no symptoms ever. Or they are out and about infecting people before they have symptoms. It's also highly infectious. And there are no treatments at present. This is why it's so dangerous.

No, Stay at home means stay in your own home, not travel to someone else's home.

OP I really do feel for you - it's a very difficult decision. It really does seem that your single car journey to there will really not be putting anyone other than your friends and your husband at a slightly increased risk. If you all self isolate for a further two weeks then the risk you pose to spreading the virus seems very small. The putting pressure on smaller local health infrastructure is an important point.
However, I would suggest that given the virus trajectory in London and the concerns there, it seems that it is London hospitals that will be under the most pressure in the near future and any spare capacity in the system will be elsewhere. Without knowing the health infrastructure and whether there are existing clusters in the area you are going to - that's a difficult call. Given how bad the prognosis is for London hospital capacity I think in your circumstances I would go.

Bet she's gone...op
It's a bit selfish tbh you can have a deserved holiday after the shitstorm.

@dubmumof2.

You make a very good point that the solitary car journey won’t do any harm (assuming there is no accident which if the statistical probability)..

However given that we already know that the OP and her friends are the sort of people who think the current rules don’t apply to them it probably won’t stop there. We’ve already got three or four adults and a child who should only leave the house for essential journeys making a two hour non essential round trip. You are putting an immunocompromised man in direct contact with people who haven’t yet isolated for two weeks. That immunocompromised man is already high risk and now he cannot get to a hospital independently if his kindly hosts are ill and unable to drive him. It’s already a disaster waiting to happen.

Then add to all that the increased possibilities of further non-essential trips to the shops/ long walks/ shared meals because these people are now isolated and special and the rules don’t apply to them.

Personally I can't think of anything worse than being locked down in someone else's house, even a very large one. On top of that, you will be in an area where no medical staff will know your DH and his health issues and there will be far fewer healthcare facilities/beds etc. You say there are shops nearby but I can't imagine you're too far away from supermarkets in London.

Can you explain why you think it's a good idea because I can't see any advantages at all. They have been in isolation for 2 weeks but you don't know if one of them has the virus, same issue being in their car. it's an hour away from your DH's medical support, what exactly is the benefit of going?

Sorry if I have missed something from your posts.

@TKAAHUARTG with respect your judgement is being clouded because you have vulnerable people in your family. The same way that OP is.

Yes go!!!!!
London is going to get so much worse x

And do you know why that is?
Because the virus doesn’t move, People move the virus. And that is absolutely why EVERYONE who can stay I doors, absolutely must.

Rapid spread where people live in close proximity will be due to surfaces, lift buttons, handrails etc. as well as personal space.

I can’t believe some of the reckless responses here. As much as lockdown is horrible, Boris’s phraseology is far too nice and the risks are increasing. PLEASE everyone get the message.

Oh, I hope you went OP.

Really because ?

It's not allowed. That isn't a necessary journey. Do your civic duty and obey the rules.

Yeah, really.

Why Because?