Friends offer. To stay in their secluded large country home,leaving tomorrow. Help.

[RubyViolet]

Husband just though cancer treatment. Declared cancer free only 1 month ago. Although he has to be tested every 3 months for foreseeable. Totally stressed.
Wonderful friends of 20 years offering us indefinite stay with them in their large country home. They are self isolated 7 days. We are self isolated 10 days.
It’s an hour from our place in central London, l am getting so anxious about my husband and getting shopping. They have acres and acres. Not far from major shopping towns in the county but isolated.
What do we need to consider. What is your advice. Leaving early tomorrow. Should we ?

I wouldn’t go, as lovely as it sounds we are at a very critical point , I think you missed the window.

Have you considered what would happen if you went to stay with friends and they got sick? As you don't drive how would you get food and medications? What if you or your husband were to become unwell? how would you get to hospital? ambulance services are stretched beyond belief already and we have not yet hit the peak.
Countryside sounds lovely but way too high risk for me ( and I am a HCP).

Personally, for me, I’d would much rather be at home, with just my family and all our things than in someone else’s home with all their things. There is no way I could take everything I might need to someone else’s house to last me a month.

I do think it is a kind gesture from your friends, and if we knew this was only going to last a couple of weeks, I’d be more tempted, but as it’s indefinite, I dont think I’d take the risk.

I’d also worry that my friendship might not last being contained at such close quarters for so long. But only you know how well you get on with these people.

@MarshaBradyo lucky you and I don't disagree with you regarding the safest option for OP and her partner

I am not sure of the point of this thread when you seem to have made up your mind already

My sil is a hospital doctor treating coronavirus patients. She's working 16-hour days, has very poor protective equipment and will have no time off for the foreseeable future. She'd love to bugger off to the country, but guess what, she might be the one treating you and your husband if you contract the virus. The government guidance is very clear- Stay at home. It's understandable that you'd like to go to the country if you have no outdoor space at home, however we're in the middle of a health emergency so you simply can't pick and choose. These current restrictions are in place for 3 weeks, why not wait and see if they are lifted?

In your position I would go, we have been told to make decisions about where to spend the next 12 weeks, so make the right one for you.
The fresh air and exercise will be good for your dh recovering from cancer, and they will be there to look after you. You have already been through so much, your dh immune system will be weakened from all of the treatment, which means that even a supermarket shop could be deadly, and do you even have people in London to help you with that? As he is not supposed to be going out for three months.

The lockdown may intensify, pack a bag and go there now, you are unlikely to have caught it if you are already so many days into isolation.

Its not about luxury or outdoor space, it is about support and making sure your dh does not catch this.

I would go in a heartbeat and be grateful for such lovely friends that understand that you are definitely compromised by staying.

Have you considered what would happen if you went to stay with friends and they got sick? As you don't drive how would you get food and medications? What if you or your husband were to become unwell? how would you get to hospital? ambulance services are stretched beyond belief already and we have not yet hit the peak.

This is what would worry me (in addition to “Stay at home”) If one of your friends becomes ill it’s quite likely both might. Are you prepared to look after them there? No matter how well stocked their larder and freezer you might need supplies - and you have no transport.

If you get ill, they’ll have to look after your husband.

I’m longing to escape to somewhere far away - completely understand that, especially after a rough time. But just at present I would probably keep their generous offer for a more propitious time.

I am trying to think of somewhere that's within an hour of Central London but isolated..... No, I don't think it exists!!

I think you have left it to late now
At the moment if one of you has it ,that’s only 2 people I’ll for nhs to cope with
If you move in with them ,that’s 4 people who will have it ,for nhs to cope with
I’m sorry your husband had cancer ,a relative of mine is in the same position,but she is doing the sensible thing and staying home
I think you need to stay home

Sounds like a good idea to me

Yes go.

You know the right answer, or are you special and the rules don’t apply to you?

Unbelievable to me that Op is being told to go & live with 2 other people in their house when her husband has recently finished treatment for cancer, yet a woman was being told yesterday not to walk her dog in an empty field because only allowed out once a day!

Stay home, these are the rules
They apply to everyone, that includes you
Stay home

No, and your friends are irresponsible to even offer

They're worried they're going to run out of food. You and DH are dinner.

I think it’s fine.

Compare to: me going to work at a school, then to a supermarket, then home to my kids who may have also been mixing with kids at childcare and school (they’re not, currently).

LonginesPrime

Quite apart from the implications of non-essential travelling during a lock down and the possibility of you passing the virus to your friends (or vice versa) this isn’t a good idea. It’s one thing staying with friends in their roomy country pile for a couple of weeks holiday when groceries are easily obtained and there are parks and pubs etc to visit freely. It’s quite another to commit to staying there for anything from three weeks to three months at a time of potential shortages , when you will not be able to get away from one another and you will be entirely dependent on them for transport.

It’s a generous offer on their part but I think it could destroy your friendship.

I am trying to think of somewhere that's within an hour of Central London but isolated..... No, I don't think it exists!!

Plenty of large isolated houses in farmland near me in north Essex. Less than an hour by train into Liverpool Street.

We live in isolation.. I see one person yesterday walk through a field in the distance. It's private farmland I have no neighbours for 5 miles or so. Ironically people have always commented on how they could never live in such a place.. now they all want to visit! Not sure if you went or not OP in your situation I'd have gone.

I would go. It's a shit time and make the best of a bad situation safely.

In your circumstances I'd have no hesitation in going. You can self-isolate and there will be others who can get your shopping.

To those who say "against the Rules", Boris is not God, you know, even if he thinks he is. Use common sense.

@AlexaAmbidextra fair enough, I stand corrected. Although the OP was being collected by car and I'd assume that would take a lot longer than an hour.

OP I think people are getting mad because this is folks lives that you're playing with by not adhering to the rules.

You are participating in unnecessary travel. You would be best staying holed up for the time being. It's not ideal but you'll get through it. Good luck.