Cheeky laundry fucker.

[Sofacat]

My dd has recently started a new job . A chap that works there travels from wherever he lives and stays in a hotel for the week and goes home at weekends.

He has asked her to do his washing for him and has offered to pay.

Dd didn’t know what to say and has come home with a bag of his washing. She is furious that he has asked her , saying that it’s sexist and a bloody cheek, which I agree with.

My washing machine is on it’s last legs as it is without doing a cheeky fuckers bloody washing as well !

I wouldn’t mind but it’s Monday , he’s had the weekend to do his own washing.

I’m tempted to bung it in the machine with a red sock !

I would have done it just this first time as I’d agreed as wouldn’t want anyone to have no clean clothes. In his mind he’d sorted it out. Or I’d have taken it for a laundry service. So your daughter ‘ has the monkey’ to sort problem out.

I then would have said it’s not an arrangement I want ongoing and suggest he revert to how he was doing it before. Thereby giving ‘the monkey (the problem) back to him. I also would have pointed out there was underwear in the washing which was uncomfortable.

No drama. It is difficult being assertive at 22, in a new job, with older people who should know better and have better manners. This will show she is kind but not a pushover and deal easily with difficult situations. All good for experience.

I have had sporadic conversations with dd about this as I haven’t seen her much due to my shifts, which is why I seem to be getting info in drips from her. He said that it (laundry) looked more than it was , dd said the bag was really heavy so opened it to see what was in there. Jeans, towels , t shirts and boxers.

She has mentioned it to her female boss, who has said he’s got a bloody cheek but as far as I’ve been told hasn’t said or done anything else.

Now we have the "be kind" message everywhere, it actually makes it harder to say No to people,

Sorry to derail, but I couldn't disagree more with this. He was hardly being kind no matter wether his request was genuine or something more creepy.

The whole point of being kind is really not about letting people trample on your boundaries. I have good strong boundaries especially at work. I'm working on the being kind thing. No incompatibility

If I had wanted to be kind to him, I would have suggested googling service washes.

whether. Sigh

Towels? He’s staying in a hotel where towels are provided.

Towels? He’s staying in a hotel where towels are provided

Could be his own gym or swimming towel.

Are jeans & T-shirts his work clothes?

Personally I wouldn't start involving HR at this stage; I'd simply say I'd "decided it wasn't appropriate" - no more, no less - and see what the respinse is

If he shuts up and shuffles off then fair enough; OTOH if he tries to push it, dares to mention the underwear again or pursues something else, that's when I'd escalate it. After all, at that point she'd have evidence that it wasn't just a "thoughtless mistake", easily brushed off

Now we have the "be kind" message everywhere, it actually makes it harder to say No

I'm not sure it does, TBH ... personally I just try to use ordinary common sense and decency no matter what the latest, fashionable hashtag happens to be

Completely inappropriate, sexist and creepy AF! Of course, the usual mental gymnastics you see here so often to justify and enable this type of misogynistic bollocks. Bullshit he's incapable of Googling a launderette or asking the hotel about laundry services. He'd never have approached a male colleague his age to wash his grundies.

PMSL @ the suggestion to cook fucking dinner for this creep as he's lonely.

I'd put all the laundry in the bin and deny all knowledge of where it was. In order to complain he would have to explain to his managers that he thought it was appropriate to ask a member of staff to do his laundry.

I wonder how many of the men he has asked to do his washing for him.
That will be a big fat zero.
Older man asks very new young female colleague to do his washing.. nope not sexist at all. How long has he been managing to do his own washing without asking anyone else before she started to work there? Who the hell knows someone for 2 weeks then asks them to do their dirty washing?

Of course you can dry washing indoors, I do it all the time, it hangs on clothes airers and dries fairly quickly. Not a big job at all, no hard work involved
Oh dont be daft! I have 2 teens and there isnt room inside to do someone elses weeks worth of washing and dry it over the weekend as well. Of course I could ramp up the heating to have it dried quicker so the poor man doesnt go without his clothes not .

She is 22 ffs! Caught out by an older colleague nd put on the spot. We have all been caught on the hop at some point, especially when young and inexperienced. How many threads on here about 'mansplaining' and 'CFuckery' have had posters saying "When I was in my first job..." "When I was younger someone said/did/took advntage of my inexperience..I would tell them where to go now" ?
Its easy to be perfect behind a keyboard when it wasnt you put in that position.

It could be considered power harassment. I’d mention it to her manager or HR. It’s completely inappropriate to ask someone junior to you at work to do your personal laundry.

This is assuming she’s got a junior role though.

Because she is junior she should be grateful to be earning extra money doing a pervy older workmates skiddies?

Doesnt matter what her job is nobody should be asking a young girl they basically just met to do their dirty washing.

I didn’t mean that she had to be grateful. I meant that when I was young I was happy to do different odd jobs for extra money. That’s all. I’d have wanted to know how much money first though!
Of course it was sexist of him to ask her; a kind of ingrained sexism in him. I don’t think he’s necessarily pervy though.

Any update @sofacat

Daughter left it in the office and the chap just said thank you.

Did she wash it?

Or has it been sitting in its bag getting ever riper for the week?

Wow - she was caught rotten.
CF bastard.

Who would expect a colleague to come up and ask them to wash their dirty keks?
Cheek of him.

I am presuming she did not wash it in the end?

No she didn’t wash it , although the colleague seems to think she had !

He’s in for a surprise when he needs fresh undies!

So now colleague is a smelly cf. (SCF) They’re the worst!

He thought she had? So did he offer his promised payment?

None of the “why can’t he do his own bloody washing” and “put it in the machine with a red sock” posts make the slightest bit of sense to me.
Your dd took a bag of washing that someone had offered her payment to wash; then whined that he was a cheeky fucker
This is all on your dd who doesn’t know how to say no, op.
She needs to work on that as a matter of urgency. No one else to blame here.