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Original poster

Who gets the biggest room?

271 replies

moveandmove · 19/02/2020 14:46

We are looking to move house soon. There will be 3 bedrooms. 2 are bigger and are the same size as each other. The third is a tiny box room. Could fit a single bed in and a chest of drawers (which is what's in there currently). That room is above the stairs so a bit of the room is taken up by that but you can put stuff on top of it iyswim.

There is me, dp, my ds10 and dp's dd18. Who do you think gets the smallest room?

OP posts:
Original poster
moveandmove · 19/02/2020 15:34

We are putting something in the garden for dp's 22 year old ds to live in as he will also be living with us but we can't afford a 4 bed.
That's not relevant to who gets which room though.

OP posts:
ddraigygoch · 19/02/2020 15:34

The either DS gets the bigger room or DSD looks into student accommodation and you DS still gets the bigger room. I wouldn't be uprooting my child and making them worse off for an adult to save some money

WinterCat · 19/02/2020 15:35

Definitely your DS has the box room. I’m surprised you need to ask.

ddraigygoch · 19/02/2020 15:35

And will the 22 year old be paying you to live there?

Original poster
moveandmove · 19/02/2020 15:36

Dsd has no job so can't afford accommodation anywhere else. Her mum is leaving the country so she's in a sticky situation, I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Bobbybobbins · 19/02/2020 15:36

Ooof a 22 year old as well! Can't they rent elsewhere?

BecauseReasons · 19/02/2020 15:36

Jeez,OP. That's a lot of people for a little house. I think I'd be saying it's just not workable at the moment. Why can't the 22 year old rent his own place?

Original poster
moveandmove · 19/02/2020 15:37

The 22 year old couldn't afford to rent.

OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 19/02/2020 15:37

Sorry, got my people and when they are there mixed up.

Find a different house. I would never have let a partner put money in at this stage of a relationship, daft and complicated if you split up.

MiniCooperLover · 19/02/2020 15:37

Why did you bother asking when you are clearly determined to favour your DS over DSD?

Original poster
moveandmove · 19/02/2020 15:38

We've been together 5 years and get married in 2 months.

OP posts:
ddraigygoch · 19/02/2020 15:38

Why the hell are you screwing your DS for two feckless adults?

DSD can get a student loan and a job.

DSS needs to get a job and house share.
Neither of these are you or your sons problem.

KatharinaRosalie · 19/02/2020 15:39

So DSD is taking a gap year but has no job? And DSS has a job but still can't afford to support himself? Are they planning to stay with you for ever then?

WinterCat · 19/02/2020 15:39

Why did you bother asking when you are clearly determined to favour your DS over DSD?

^ This.

ddraigygoch · 19/02/2020 15:40

Why is it bad to favour her DS? He a child. And her actual child. He should be her priority.

goingoverground · 19/02/2020 15:40

I can see both sides but the reality is box room is not suitable for your DSD nor DS.

How big is the space above the stairs in the box room? Is it enough for a bed platform, freeing up all the floor space?

Or is there a way to reconfigure the walls/rooms?

The other option is you take the box room, if you can fit a double bed in. Your DSD and DS both need their own space to play, study and socialise. Do you actually use your bedroom for anything else that requires more than a bed? You can store clothes in one of the other rooms.

Who gets the biggest room?
Cohle · 19/02/2020 15:40

I agree that DSD should get the larger room.

That said you seem to feel the box room isn't suitable for your son, in which case the house doesn't really meet your needs.

Sexnotgender · 19/02/2020 15:40

Is this the only suitable property? Can you hang off until you find something with better sized rooms?

cittigirl · 19/02/2020 15:40

Can you use the money to extend your current home?

squiglet111 · 19/02/2020 15:41

We are moving into a town house for this this reason. All rooms are double rooms and no box room.

I think if you are moving to accommodate your step daughter then it's only fair that your son gets the bigger room. Or maybe just don't move at all. Let your partner buy /rent his own house for his children.

Or if you do plan to upgrade to accommodate all children, maybe just toss a coin?

Original poster
moveandmove · 19/02/2020 15:41

To all those asking why I'm favouring my ds...
I've worked very hard to own my own home for myself and my ds where he has a big bedroom. To then move into a house with dp and dsd where I've contributed the most equity and to put ds in a tiny box room feels hugely unfair to me.
I wondered what everyone else thought. I'm not sure many people would be happy to downgrade their ds in this situation.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 19/02/2020 15:41

Neither of these are you or your sons problem. she's too to marry their father, presumably him moving out so his kids have a home isn't something op wants. The 18 yo is possibly still in education, what job do you think she can get to cover full rent and living expenses?

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/02/2020 15:41

Unless there is something we don't know most people don't consider adult 22-year-old children at this point. It's an ideal time for him to learn how to live like an adult and get a job and rent a room. You do not want to end up with a 30-year-old Xbox addict in your garden.

ddraigygoch · 19/02/2020 15:42

@SleepingStandingUp that's not the OPs problem. That's hers and her parents issue.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/02/2020 15:42

What does your partner think op?

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