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Original poster

Homophobia alert. A middle aged woman said this to me today about her adult grandson. It’s not ok, is it ?

238 replies

Shortfeet · 18/02/2020 19:17

‘I’m so happy for my grandson .
He’s got his ideal job.
And he’s not gay!
I’ve nothing against them , I just wouldn’t want it for one of my own “ .

I was speechless l and somewhat upset when I stopped to consider what she had just said.

Discuss

OP posts:
MysweetAudrina · 18/02/2020 19:35

I have a beautiful 12 year old dd. She dresses in clothes from the boys section, plays on the boys football teams, has her hair cut short, has no interest in 'girly' things.

I am not trans phobic and I will support her in everything she does but I will be very glad if she does not try to change her body and transition to a male.

Am I not allowed express that view?

username00 · 18/02/2020 19:35

Cringed at the 'discuss'

OhLook · 18/02/2020 19:37

In real life do you just make a statement then command people to discuss it?

It's obviously a disgusting comment but aside from pointing out her homophobia what is there to do?

isadoradancing123 · 18/02/2020 19:37

Well for whatever reason, it would upset her if her grandson was gay, thats her feelings and she doesnt need fixing

turnandfacethenamechange · 18/02/2020 19:37

I’m so happy for my grandson .
... he’s not [any group of people who are discriminated against for reasons they were born with] !
I’ve nothing against them , I just wouldn’t want it for one of my own

Whether you feel it or not it's a shitty thing to say.

Original poster
Shortfeet · 18/02/2020 19:39

@Eckhart I do not think it’s my job to fix her !

It was said in the middle of a medical procedure, ( I’m the medical person) - the grandson is also a patient of mine and has just left home to pursue his dream job.

I did not think it was professionally appropriate to call her on her homophobia.

But I was shocked and saddened by her remark.

Perhaps I’m overreacting or being too soft or naive.

OP posts:
Karwomannghia · 18/02/2020 19:40

My ds is gay so if someone said that to me I’d be hurt. It’s also a very odd thing to say I mean you don’t normally say what someone isn’t. Was the job one that gay men often do?

Original poster
Shortfeet · 18/02/2020 19:40

@CinderellasSecrets, yes I thought it was a weird thing to throw into the discussion and I have no idea why she said it.

OP posts:
nicky7654 · 18/02/2020 19:40

I'm glad my Son isn't Gay and I have nothing against anyone who is. Absolutely nothing wrong with feeling that way and wanting your son or Grandson to get married and have children.

Original poster
Shortfeet · 18/02/2020 19:41

@Karwomannghia my ds is gay too

OP posts:
Karwomannghia · 18/02/2020 19:41

You can get married and have children when you are gay.

Original poster
Shortfeet · 18/02/2020 19:42

The job is an acting job.

OP posts:
turnandfacethenamechange · 18/02/2020 19:42

If you go around saying in public "I have nothing against gays, so just wouldn't want it for one of my own " ostensibly because it's "harder" you are making it harder. You can't say that shit to random people. What if OP were gay? Or had a gay child? It makes people feel unwanted Sad

Eckhart · 18/02/2020 19:43

@turnandfacethenamechange I like free speech. You think op should be responsible for what the woman says from now on?

Karwomannghia · 18/02/2020 19:43

Oh no I bet you were upset. Did you tell her? Maybe easier just to shut it off. I really don’t think most people feel that way.

Nomorepies · 18/02/2020 19:44

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

74NewStreet · 18/02/2020 19:44

Does she have the right to feel that way?. Who are you; the thought police? Of course people have the right to have whatever thoughts / opinions they choose! Your choice is limited to agreeing or disagreeing; preventing them from expressing their views is not going to happen, nor should it.
Discuss. (😉)

ssd · 18/02/2020 19:45

I'm middle aged and I would never end a post with 'discuss'

Gets right on my nerves.

Counterpane · 18/02/2020 19:45

Discuss

Do you think you are setting us homework?

Original poster
Shortfeet · 18/02/2020 19:46

@turnandfacethenamechange that’s very well put.

I almost wanted to say “my son is gay and I couldn’t be more proud of him . “ but I’d never use my son to score points like that.

OP posts:
Karwomannghia · 18/02/2020 19:46

I’m glad my son isn’t a nasty person. Apart from that he can be what he likes and I’ll be glad.

Thwackadoodle · 18/02/2020 19:46

TBH it would immediately make me think that her grandson might be gay! Because it's just such a bizarre thing for her to be commenting on in the first place. Why is it in her head so much?

It's like somebody coming home and saying, "Yes, thanks, I had a great day today, work went well and I definitely didn't scrape your car as I was parking next to it."

Biancadelrioisback · 18/02/2020 19:46

I hate it when people say "discuss" like they're throwing us a bone to fight over.

Eckhart · 18/02/2020 19:47

@nicky7654 Gay people can get married and have children.

Seventyone72seventy3 · 18/02/2020 19:50

I think it is shocking OP because we are not used to people who have no qualms at displaying their bigotry so openly. I was at the doctor's the other day and the nurse decided she couldn't write down my name correctly although I was spelling it out and then said "Oh, I thought you were Eastern European. We get too many of them". I mean - why not just shut up?