Homophobia alert. A middle aged woman said this to me today about her adult grandson. It’s not ok, is it ?

[Shortfeet]

‘I’m so happy for my grandson .
He’s got his ideal job.
And he’s not gay!
I’ve nothing against them , I just wouldn’t want it for one of my own “ .

I was speechless l and somewhat upset when I stopped to consider what she had just said.

Discuss

I agree it would leave me speechless. I used to work with a lady in her 60s who would frequently say things like he's queer etc . Id say that's offensive but she wouldn't listen .
Funny thing was I was sure she had a dd who was gay just the things she had told me but I don't think she was aware .
It's just ignorance.

@Shortfeet I'm more concerned with you as a medical professional talking/reiterating about a client/customer/NHS user's conversation about her personal life on a forum.

I’ve heard worse, doesn’t make that comment a minor issue.

I’ve heard worse, doesn’t make that comment a minor issue.

I said relatively minor. Meaning, in comparison to all the intolerant things said and done by people.

Doesn’t need to be compared, it’s not minor regardless.

@Really123456 for crying out loud.

It was a shitty thing to say regardless of whether worse things are said or how often they’re said. Why are people in such a rush to discredit the OP by any means? I see it on just about all threads now.

Doesn’t need to be compared, it’s not minor regardless.

It is comparatively minor, in the grand scheme of intolerance. If brought to court it would not get the same sentence as an outright offensive tirade because it is relatively minor. All things fit along a sliding scale, and the more you've seen of the worst of it, the less shocked you are by the rest.

Casting such comments off as minor excuses it as everyday and embeds it within society the consequences of which are not minor.

It was not a minor comment.

Casting such comments off as minor excuses it as everyday and embeds it within society the consequences of which are not minor.

No. It simply points out that this is why many people thought OP was virtue-signalling, rather than being genuinely shocked. Because it is minor in comparison to what many people have seen or experienced.

To use the example of animal cruelty, imagine a dog is deliberately left outside all night in a cold winter without shelter. It's raining and the poor thing is miserable and becomes unwell as a consequence. It's cruel, and it's not OK. Many would be shocked and saddened by it. But, it's unlikely to shock an RSPCA worker who has seen cases where dogs have been burned alive.

It's not about being acceptable, it's about the ability of a specific incident to shock an audience. And many people struggled to believe that this specific incident would shock a front-line HCP, because they themselves would not be shocked by it.

Yikes. What a daft thing for her to say. And to have come completely out of nowhere 😦

Not everyone has to think being gay is wonderful!

Yeah, but doesn't mean they should go around spouting homophobic bullshit.