My 15 year old wants to try weed

[Fingernail]

This is a ridiculous and hipocritical situation! My dad tells me everything and I should be happy that she is so honest and open. I knew this time would come, but assumed that she would sneak off and do it secretly. I suppose I thought it might NOT happen as her friendship group is mostly religious and culturally they just aren’t going to take any drugs or try alcohol. But dd is curious. She wants to do it at home with a friend! I don’t know whether to agree to this. I am also considering getting her the weed, so I can make sure that she doesn’t end up with something too strong.

This is a ridiculous situation. I’ve taken shed loads of drugs myself but I don’t know how to respond to this.( She doesn’t know I have taken ANY drugs...mostly she has assumed and I haven’t corrected her!) WWYD?

I always struggle with coming up with good reasons why a child shouldn't.

If it's harder drugs, taking an e you could say to a child: you don't know what you are gonna get, it could be mixed with anything = permanent damage, you could be paralysed.

But paranoia and mental health problems, whilst well known, is often, not always, but often a problem to those who were pre-disposed to it, in the first place.

Unfortunately I have talked to many people who 'tried a thing or two at uni' / minorly, and none of them had any MH issues subsequently at all.

If you are a teen - mentally sound, the threat of MH issues, might not scare you.

If you tried to convince your child that MH problems are a possible consequence, and none of your extended social group have had any MH at all, your argument is weaker.

I smoke weed and our 25 year old ds tried when he was younger. We didn't encourage it like you though, and whilst he did it at home it wasn't something we did together.
he stopped after a couple of years and now just smokes cigs that he's cut down on a lot.
It needn't be a gateway to other drugs, I know lots of people smoking weed who never touched anything else.
I would say no, and think the Amsterdam idea is better, when she's 18.

Even in Amsterdam you can't smoke tobacco in the cafes so you have to smoke the weed neat, good luck with that

Vision:
"I would just try and steer her away from it, reinforce the bad parts - paranoia, lack of motivation, weight gain, laziness etc and tell her that she needs to wait until she's 18. "

It's hard to convince a child that those : paranoia, lack of motivation, weight gain, laziness , are possibilities if no one the child knows has experienced any of these.

Are you sure she wants you to say yes? I had a cool mum and sometimes I asked things in the hope she would say no so I didn’t have to look uncool to my mates. Having said that, there is no way on this Earth she would have said yes to this one!

My son has tried it and he is a quiet lad. I was sad finding out but he didn't enjoy it anyway so it opened up discussion for us.

Fingernail So may drink wine etc, i dont. Even if i did alcohol is legal, cannabis is not. If you dont think your Daughter should stay within the law which other laws do you think she should be free to break ?
* other people smoke drugs" didnt your own Mother ever tell you that just because other people jumped off cliffs, it didnt mean you had to !

She's incredibly young

15 is too young for weed. I know you can't control her every move, but I would be trying my best to keep her away from it until she's at least 18. Her brain is still developing. Also if she tries it and she really likes it she may end up filling her free time with weed instead of developing hobbies and skills. Weed is a bit of bugger for that.

if illegal drugs operated in a vaccum I'd say go for it, help the species. It is called 'dope', not ' intelligent' for a reason.

but they don't. Users actively support gun crime, knife crime, gangs, cuckooing (tell your appalling child to look that up), county lines and so on. If she is the school strike/eco type is she happy with that? Or if she is any type, is she happy to support scum?

and yes, the 'jump off cliffs' thing still applies. Tell her not to be a sheep-like saddo and get a life.

She is 15, and likely you will be facilitating her friend trying it without their parents consent. By allowing her to do it in the house you are basically saying it's okay, I know what you are saying and she might sneak around and do it elsewhere, but you need a hard line on drugs in my opinion.

There's always the hygiene angle. There are no H&S controls on illegal drugs. I saw a TV programme years ago that analysed a load of drugs. They all looked pristine and hygienic. However, they all contained faecal matter, intestinal worms/eggs, snot etc, etc. From a young age, I always included that in my discussions with the kids. I told them if they took illegal drugs, they should be aware that they are also ingesting someone else's poo etc.

While I don't think that will necessarily have prevented them trying stuff, I would hope that they would get a quick memory flash and feel a bit of revulsion and be put off it. I know my oldest has never tried illegal drugs, my middle one has, I suspect, taken a few puffs but nothing more. Youngest isn't old enough yet for me to conclude anything (he's 17) but I'm pretty sure he hasn't tried anything yet.

Also, those saying 18, 25 is the minimum you should be aiming for, due to brain development.

I think you’re right OP.
You have to say no.
But you have to be realistic.
Hence the ‘I’ll pick up, no repercussions’ applies to teenagers whether it’s drugs, alcohol or any other stupid decisions.

I knew this time would come

Why?

Maybe I live in a parallel universe but it never crossed my mind that Dd or Ds would ever try drugs

Ahhh. Maybe I always assumed most will. Probably because I'm a 'try everything once'. I only like going on the scariest rides at theme parks, zip lining etc.

Hell NO! You are a parent and you want to give weed to your own daughter?

Hell NO! You are a parent and you want to give weed to your own daughter? confused

The OP seems to be a parent in the loosest sense of the word.

Oliversmumsarmy Sat 25-Jan-20 12:24:20
I knew this time would come

Why?

Maybe I live in a parallel universe but it never crossed my mind that Dd or Ds would ever try drugs
........
Innocence is bliss, Oliver'smum.

I will tell you a funny story from many years ago. We (me, husband, son then 14), were invited to ex neighbour's house for their daughter's eighteenth birthday party. It was in the summer, very hot. Ex neighbours were and are lovely but whenever we talked about such things, they always said, "Oooh our children would never do....etc".

During the party a lot of people went out into the garden with drinks and chat, etc. Lovely evening, very warm. My 14 year old son was standing outside their big shed nursing a beer. I asked him what he was doing there on his own. He said to me, "Mike (the daughter's slightly younger brother, not real name), his cousin and some friends are smoking joints and I'm keeping watch in case any of the old people come out". I was obviously not considered one of the old people at that time :-). I just said, "Oh OK".

A bit later they came back in the house all giggly.

Then Mike came up to me and said, "Will you help my mum. She's had too much to drink and has fallen off the toilet".

I did go to see her but she seemed OK, just a bit vague, said she'd fallen asleep for a few minutes.

I always laugh at that memory, it was so typical. Needless to say both their children (and mine) grew up well, all over forty now. I know their parents would have done their nuts if they'd known joints were smoked at that party but they never found out.

You're letting your daughter smoke weed, her friends all smoke it at home and you know people who grow it? Sounds like something from an episode of Shameless

You're her parent not her friend. Bloody act like it

Oliversmumsarmy
you are joking,no ?

No not joking

And definitely not living in ignorance.

Famous last words!
You cannot be sure of that at all !

Oh ffs

I don't think some people on here realise how widespread weed smoking has become with teens. Dd tells me nearly all her friends smoke it, some more than others. Luckily she tried it and it made her paranoid(as it does me) so she's s not interested.
I'm not sure if she would tell me if she tried an e/ket/coke I hope so but I think she, as do a lot of teens, sees these as more serious drugs. She does know a boy who is completely lost to Ketamine so hopefully that has shown her the harm drugs can do.
She is older than your dd though op.
Please don't take to heart some of the replies, your post shows that you were thinking of your dd. Isn't that what Mumsnet is for, to ask advice on the tricky business of bringing up teens?