DS punched someone in school today.

[AlaskaElfForGin]

I'm mad with him, of course I am.

BUT his form tutor told me that it happened in reaction to a boy in his year telling everyone that I've just had a mastectomy (I have) and taking the piss out of DS because of it. Asking how he felt now that his 'mum is actually a man'. Apparently it had been going on last week and continued today so DS lost his temper.

DS is never in trouble - he hasn't had one behaviour point since the start of the school year and only had one last year for forgetting his PE kid.

I've been called in to speak to his form teacher, for the first time ever. What are they likely to do? I understand that there will be sanctions, I totally get that and he should never have hit this boy, but I can see how it happened.

‘Twas ever this op. Dh is the least fighting type very academic etc but even he had to fight a boy who was criticising his mother (for being German).

@AlaskaElfForGin have you had any feedback from school yet? I’ve been thinking of you today. 🌺

I support your DS. The school aren't dealing with the bullying.

I guess the line I'd take with him is, why would you even care what this mini moron has to say anyway? Why give him the satisfaction of a reaction that lands DS in trouble?

Teach him about grey rock maybe?

I would high five your son and have no problem telling the tutor you did so, that kid deserved a punch and he should be the only one with a sanction.

Well the meeting was a bit of a surprise.

DS's form teacher and the deputy head met us and his form teachers first words were 'Well DS, you hardly handled that the best way but I totally understand why and I'm so sorry you had to put up with the horrible comments beforehand'. I kind of did this face >> 😮 as did DS. He's been given an after-school detention which he's been told will be with his form teacher to help him clear out a couple of cupboards in the form room. The other lad and his mum have a meeting this afternoon and 'appropriate sanctions will be put in place'. Deputy Head stressed that the other lads mum fully supports any punishment for her son and that she wanted me know that. I wasn't expecting that at all.

We had a discussion about what DS will do if there are any repercussions or anything else is said. I feel so relieved and DS visibly relaxed in the meeting.

Ah I am delighted for both you and your little boy. It is also good to see that the other boy's mum understands what her lad said and how awful it was. She sounds like a good normal mum - not someone who will take their kids side regardless of what they have done. You can both relax now.

Glad this went well. Thank goodness the other boy's mum has some good sense.

Good outcome OP. And glad the boy's mum is on board.

That’s a great outcome; well done all round

Wonderful outcome. I am so glad his teachers had some common sense.

You couldnt have asked for better really. That's great news the other mum is on the case too!

One of the friends of my son’s bully is a national champion in a martial art. He’s also a lot bigger than my son. He could break my son in two very easily, and he knows it.

If he does ever attack your son Wire and uses any of his skills you can report the incident to the sports national body. They have the powers to investigate themselves and, in some case, remove both his belt and licence. He will have had to sign a specific agreement / code of conduct to get them and they don't take transgressions lightly (used to train with a bloke who was stripped for giving someone a kicking using his training).

I hope your son is getting help and support for any bullying (besides you because you look like you're doing a great job raising a fine young man).

Glad to hear the positive outcome OP.

@WireBrushAndDettolMaam - I hope you don't think I took offence at you last night. That really wasn't my intention. I was (I thought) playing Devil's Advocate but reading back I did it very clumsily. If I did upset you I truly apologise for sounding like a Class A wazzock .

Sounds like a great and proportionate response from the school. I suspect his form tutor might take the opportunity of the time clearing out cupboards together to give DS a chance to talk about stuff if he wants - if it’s just the two of them a nice informal non-threatening chance for a chat.

Good to hear the other mum has recognised the severity of what her son said - I’d like to think any mother would be appalled if their son had said such utterly awful things.

Oh what a great result!
Nice to hear when schoolsget it right too.

Bless your son's heart. I don't believe there will be too much trouble for him, they know what the other boy taunted him with. They will probably both be given a good talking to, maybe detention. The mother of the boy he will be told what it's about and I daresay she will read her son the riot act, I know I would.

Oh OP, that's fantastic news all round!

You couldnt have asked for better really. That's great news the other mum is on the case too!

I'm just hoping that's the end of it now. The staff weren't able to say too much a out the other boy obviously but it seems that his mum really wanted to stress that I knew she was horrified by her son's comments. Poor woman, she must be mortified.

Wonderful news and exactly the right outcome.

I can just imagine how the other boy's mother feels and hopefully it will result in him feeling ashamed. However it is amazing what schoolchildren (teenagers) say as a taunt. I've heard similar stories from other parents. They can be really horrible but they don't actually mean it, just can't control what comes out of their mouths.

Last week's 'Cold Feet' illustrated just that; Jenny has had a mastectomy and is now in remission. She went to the school to pick up her daughter and vagluely heard some boys saying nasty things to her daughter about Jenny's illness. She got out of the car and made the boy who said it repeat it, there was a bit more that did too but after that he was shamefaced.

They do learn though. I'm sorry your son had to go through that but all sorted now.

How brilliant! Well done to the school and the other mum

That’s a great outcome OP. Glad the other parent is on board and hopefully reading their DS the riot act. I’d be so ashamed and disgusted if my child said what they did to your son. Like PP said- form teacher may take the chance to open a channel of communication with your DS so that he hopefully will feel more comfortable reporting in future.

iklboo thanks I didn’t know that was possible. Will keep in mind. All has been quiet since the day DSs went hiding and it all came to light so hopefully we won’t have more trouble. It wasn’t you I was thinking of, a PP. you haven’t upset me.

I'd be (secretly) beyond proud of my DS if I were in your shoes & that happened. He's lashed out at some horrible excuses for humans & hopefully they'll leave him alone now & that they've been chastised (sorry haven't finished the whole thread).

My DH was relentlessly bullied at school & then his dad died which gave the little f•••••s more to be evil about. So he lamped one of them. Never happened again.

Hope you're feeling better.

@AlaskaElfForGin I glad you got a good outcome. School did exactly the right thing and it’s good to know the other mum is onboard too.

Draw a line under it all and focus on you getting well. 🌺for you 🍫for your ds .

Gosh, so nice to read appropriate action being taken.

I felt very sorry for your son.

I actually feel very sorry for the other Mum too.

Children can misbehave,but that boys words were truly awful, and I would honestly be really devastated to hear that either of my sons could even contemplate saying something like that.

His mother's shock and embarrassment hopefully will be the lightening rod that will sort that boy out.

The school has to be commended.

A Mum once said to me that "you never really know if your children are in a good school, until you have to go to them with a problem you need help with".

Really true.