DS punched someone in school today.

[AlaskaElfForGin]

I'm mad with him, of course I am.

BUT his form tutor told me that it happened in reaction to a boy in his year telling everyone that I've just had a mastectomy (I have) and taking the piss out of DS because of it. Asking how he felt now that his 'mum is actually a man'. Apparently it had been going on last week and continued today so DS lost his temper.

DS is never in trouble - he hasn't had one behaviour point since the start of the school year and only had one last year for forgetting his PE kid.

I've been called in to speak to his form teacher, for the first time ever. What are they likely to do? I understand that there will be sanctions, I totally get that and he should never have hit this boy, but I can see how it happened.

I come from a traveller family, and my DGD used to say "Bob, there are two things in life that people will always respect, money and fear"
Hopefully that lad might give DS a wide berth from now.

Jesus wept.
How low can you get?
Team DS here, too.

Good on your DS. Some of these bullying shits need a bloody nose to make them think twice about being a bullying arsehole.

Wishing you a speedy recovery

Give your boy a hug. Don’t tell him off stand up for him. I hope you are recovering well

Thank you all for being so kind. I will update what happens at school tomorrow in our meeting.

Cuckoo my children put up with racism for quite a while because I took your stance. The school took this as an excuse to ignore the problem. As soon as I said I do not care about the aggressive child or what they are going through, you’re failing you’re duty of care and I was going to take it further, they changed their tune.

Children actually commit suicide due to school bullying. I’m not saying it wrong in exploring the home influences of bullying but more often than not their victims are ignored.

Nah Jaxhog but good attempt at victim blaming.

As for the women without breasts aren’t women, had stonewall visited. Vile.

I don't condone violence but what response did the boy think he get by saying such things and being so horrid. Everyone has a limit. Totally the other boys fault. If apologise for the hitting but explain why. It never would have happened if that other boy wasn't such a bully. Hopefully it's put him in his place and he will leave your son alone now.

I'd be wanting a meeting with DS, other child and their parent(s).

You, the school and the other parents will see exactly what's going on by the kids' reactions and you'll get a gauge (as will the school) of how much support and guidance this kid is getting - as he will need dealing with by school - if there's not enough parenting.

I hate this - why are kids and people
so nasty? I don't get it - bloody makes me so cross and hugely disappointed in people.

This prob doesn't help but DS did the right thing! Sometimes you can't argue with stupid or cowardly or goady. I'm with everyone who says make the right noises and say yeah he was wrong, but insist too that the nasty talk is dealt with.
My DS also hit a but once. But without witnesses, and the bully didn't tell, and was so surprised that he stopped the goading he'd been doing for years about my son's ginger hair. Now you might say that violence in response to teasing isn't on. But DS fessed up to me and his dad, and mild mannered DH actually said 'good - sometimes that's what you have to do'.

And good luck and kind thoughts to you, you've been through enough already and your DS sounds awesome.

Your poor ds. Personally I think he did the right thing. That other little fucker deserved it. I hope they don't punish him. He needs a hug not a punishment. for you. I hope you're ok.

Tell DS he must tell you and a member of staff if any unacceptable comments are made in future so that the bully can be dealt with according to the school policy.

Sorry to hear about what you and your DS have been through, OP.

If I was the other boys parent I’d want no action against your son and I’d be dragging mine home to address his behaviour bloody swiftly.

Team Ds here aswell, I would be proud of him, sticking up for his mum , he obviously thinks the world of you .
Wishing you a good recovery from your operation

Sorry I'd have decked him too

If it was a case of "DS hit a boy today, because of mild teasing"- Yes it would be right to tell him off
He was defending your honour, at a time when he is probably trying very hard to keep his own emotions in check due to his love and worry for you.
Frankly, the other boy sounds like a cretinous little scrot and hopefully will think twice before he makes fun of a very serious situation.

Oh goodness. I came in here expecting some flimsy excuse for him being a bully BUT I can completely understand his motivation! And it's horrible because when I was young we were taught to "kick them back" - but then you end up in trouble too. Definitely tell him that punching isn't acceptable but also let him know you are going to do something about the other kids bullying him. That's just not on.

If I was the other boys parent I’d want no action against your son and I’d be dragging mine home to address his behaviour bloody swiftly.

Unfortunately they’ll very likely believe their sons version of events which won’t be truthful. He’ll probably minimise and say OPs DS has been bullying him! I’ve seen this far too many times. Parents always want to believe their own child.

Good luck with the meeting. Ex teacher and once had to deal with one lad trying to beat up another. Racist slurs about your family and nasty comments about your mum were hard for him to ignore.
No hitting someone isn’t good. But neither is being a vile bully and taunting someone.

Poor DS, glad you’re not punishing him (as long as he understands he shouldn’t do it again). Perhaps you could ask the school to have a special assembly raising awareness for cancer. Perhaps it might put it into perspective for the vile bullies that it’s certainly no joke.

I'm with DS bless his heart ♥️

Team DS. I would personally be really proud of him for standing up for himself and his mum . Runs and hides.

OP tell him that keeping his cool in the face of extreme provocation is a far more impressive feat of strength than allowing your temper to rule you. Toddlers lash out in anger, men hold their temper. Tell him you’ll be immensely proud the day he comes home and tells you some scumbag said vile things and he walked away.

All the best with your meeting. My ds did this last term but it was out of school. We found out when the other child's parent came to tell us. She came to apologise that her child had been involved in low level but persistent bullying of ds. She was concerned that we know not so that ds would be punished but that we could help him so that it wouldn't happen in school where the outcomes could be different. We did make contact with school and they have been (so far) very good at keeping a watchful eye on things and making sure that ds is ok. I hope the same for you.

Hope the little shite thinks twice before opening his mouth again in such a vile manner.

Hope you and your lovely son are ok