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To wonder how this lady does this

204 replies

Ellafoambanana · 05/01/2020 11:00

A few years ago now a 19 year-old added me on Facebook. I was 26 at the time. She was doing that Juice plus thing so adding random people.she seemed very nice she had a child my age, occasionally we swapped comments with each other on a picture or whatever. it started to dawn on me that she didn't work other than the Juice plus and her young teenage boyfriend was in the army. I know they don't particularly get paid a massive amount of money. She started doing care work last year and then had another baby.

She's about 23 now I presume and and she literally has absolutely everything and all her life is 100% under control. Her house is immaculate. Brand new everything and constantly spending money. I remember this summer she had all her garden done up. She got rid of all her beautiful beds with gorgeous velvet crushed headboardsbut she got a couple of years ago and she replaced them with more grey shiny headboard beds. All her carpets are grey all her bedding is grey her sofas are grey. All brand new. She had a new shark hoover a couple of months ago, fridge freezer a new cooker and a kettle. One of those fancy glass dining tables with the big fancy cushion chairs. She has one of those expensive steam mops.she bought one of those massive log burner things for the garden and one of those fire pits. Load of gravel went down a new barbecue was brought.

Over the last 4 years of having this girl on my Facebook I have watched her spend money like she's a millionaire.she had a baby about 6 months ago and in her pregnancy she easily must have spent about £5,000 on random stuff.or personalised my 1st years most expensive pram her bedroom was done up like a showroom. All the baby grows from mamas and papas. Expensive outfits that cost £30 each. She had absolutely everything you could think of for that baby.

when they have takeaways which is several times a week they have Domino's and they have everything with it. When is coming up to one of the kids birthdays she just buys ridiculous amounts of presents. I'd guess that she spend at least £600 on each child for their birthdays and christmases.she's constantly spending £100 in next and put in piles of clothes on with labels so we can see the prices. It's like she just never stops.

Then on top of all this she has a huge cleaning obsession. She is a hinch fan. She buys all the zoflora and flash in bulk.
She's always doing these videos of cleaning up. The ones that make you think how is she doing that and being a mother at the same time. There's no signs of toys in the living room and the kids bedrooms are immaculate.she hoovers through every single day and does videos of her shark hoover making lines in the carpet. She cleans her cupboards and fridge every week and does the videos of her wiping them out.her latest thing is tap the screen to see my tidy house so she does before and after shots of her cleaning up. She shows her ironing pile then shows us the baby gros all folded nearly away. She loves cleaning. She does her kitchen every night so it's immaculate and all pots away. Nothing draining. Candles lit. Then shows pictures of her relaxing on the sofa at night.

Her Christmas decorations were obviously expensive and all matching. Her paper matched her baubles.

I'm 30 and trying My best to stop my kids messing up the room I've just tidied. I can't get my life in order because of the fact little people like playing and eating and sneaking in the cupboards.

How does someone who buys so much have such a tidy organised house. How do they afford it anyway? It's none of my business. I've just noticed people are getting more and more like this. The need to be tidy and perfect. Their children to be perfect and have it all.

Also at 23 her life is so perfect and she has everything even 40 year olds are still trying to get. How is that? It's bizarre isn't it. Also she doesnt seem to have any friends or mix. She seems to be alone all the time.

Has Mrs hinch made people sad or is this a positive thing.

It gets annoying seeing people showing you what they have all the time? It's a strange world we live in now isn't it.

OP posts:
Ohyesiam · 05/01/2020 15:19

You must see op that if this “friend” we’re genuinely happy , she wouldn’t spend her days showing off. Think about it, when is it that you want to “ show everyone”? Is it when you feel contented, or even you’re feeling a bit down about yourself and have to grab some attention and interest.

smemorata · 05/01/2020 15:22

I don't think it sounds like the perfect life at all. Far from it.

Newbie1981 · 05/01/2020 15:26

Don't believe everything you see on social media. And also, you sound envious, that makes me sad for you! Go enjoy your life

Sagradafamiliar · 05/01/2020 15:28

OP you've had some wise comments here, I wish you'd actually take them into account and not just dismiss them, as the more you post, the more you sound like you're going sick with jealousy. Take on board what people are saying.

readingismycardio · 05/01/2020 15:30

Comparison is the thief of joy. You never know what hides behind social media, this is exactly why you need to (at least try) to be happy with your own life, as it is.

Yetanotherwinter · 05/01/2020 15:33

How long did you waste typing this thread about a girl going about her business and posting about it. You have idea where her money came from. You sound extremely jealous to sit here listing all her possessions. If you don’t like you see then unfriend her. It’s not rocket science. Also people’s social media is often a facade. You don’t know what’s really going on. You’d be better concentrating on your own happiness.

slashlover · 05/01/2020 15:35

OP how exactly do you know it's all brand new? I know a couple of people with beautiful houses but they take the time to shop in charity shops/ebay/facebook/etc. I work in a charity shop and the amount of clothes we get in with tags still on them (ESPECIALLY baby/kids) is staggering. All our coats are £3 each just now and I constantly get compliments on a Dorothy Perkins one I bought.

Our local BHF furniture has some gorgeous sofas, they are all steam cleaned before being sold and look brand new.

QueenofPain · 05/01/2020 15:35

OP, I completely get where you are coming from and think there’s a completely ridiculous pile on in these comments, as is often the MN way.

Multigloves · 05/01/2020 15:35

I think there is a big cultural divide when it comes to social media that is vaguely split in to two camps. Some people see posting the sort of thing you are talking about as totally normal behaviour. Others see it as showing off. I don't think either camp is wrong, it just depends on what you are accustomed too.

I personally don't post much, but I do follow a few women who do and I find it a mostly positive experience. I like Mrs Hinch for example and try to draw inspiration from her and a few others like her, but I'm very selective about who I'll follow.

In terms of the show home thing, I think it's a question of values and interests. Some people spend most of their time at home and put great value on keeping it clean and looking a certain way. Others don't. There isn't anything wrong with either approach.

I'd try not to take it all so much to heart OP. You've got to live up to what is important to you, not what someone else considers important.

stilldoesntknowwhatshappening · 05/01/2020 15:46

I've got a MLM hun bot on my FB.
She's constantly plugging how awesome the products are. How healthy and great she looks and how brilliant it's made her life.

I'd probably buy into it if she wasn't fat and lived in the dodgy part of town.

Nothing wrong with being overweight or living in affordable housing. But it's just clearly not in line with what she's pushing. Don't believe everything on FB.

LilQueenie · 05/01/2020 15:47

Tons of sales on to get stuff for pennies. could be from raffle sites, a lot could be second hand and yet being shown as new. The videos could be done 10 a time then edited and put up automatically over a space of days or even weeks. could be on credit or she may have a windfall of money.

RavenLG · 05/01/2020 15:52

Comparison is the thief of joy, the quicker you realise that someone else's life has no impact on your own the happier you will be. If she's happy posting mundane crap on social media let her, live and let live. Social media really is destroying people's mental health, those posting and viewing. Maybe a NYR could be to ditch SM? You'd probably be happier. (oh and dragging other MN users down? It's unbecoming)

tiddles10 · 05/01/2020 15:54

How is MLM not illegal

Ferretyone · 05/01/2020 15:58

@Ellafoambanana

Married to [successful] criminal?

ssd · 05/01/2020 16:01

She wants me to see her life.

Yeah, but you don't need to look.

Keepmewarm · 05/01/2020 16:08

Op, you are getting a bit of a pasting which is awful.
I initially said that I felt sorry for you and your friend but rereading the op and your other posts on this thread I think you were maybe just pondering and have been made out to be all sorts that you are not.
Yet another not so nice side of the internet.

Frenchw1fe · 05/01/2020 16:12

Good for her.
Some of us managed to have happy, healthy dc and keep our homes clean and tidy. I also used to bake, water the allotment and clean the car whilst working part time. Not because I was better than other mum's I just preferred to live like that.
Also if her dh is in the army she may be cleaning at night if he's away.
I didn't have social media in those days so only close friends knew what my home was like.
I wish I had the same energy now.

Londongirl86 · 05/01/2020 16:15

I've been bashed on Mumsnet many times for genuinely wanting a discussion. It's best not to bring up things like this as it gets twisted.

I also think we live in a time where people are focused on money and luxury and faking it to make it. I wasn't around in the 50s and 60s but my family werem they always said it was a simpler time. People shared things. Neighbours talked and shared. You made do. Prams were passed down to pregnant ladies. Clothes were passed done. You made do with whatever furniture you had.

Now consumerism has destroyed the wya we were. Then there are people are trying to save the planet and get rid of plastic. Stop using more chemicals and buying stuff that won't last five minutes.

Imagine how much Mrs hinch and followers have contributed to plastic, chemicals and wasting in general

Each to their own.

There's no need to call people sad for questioning how people do it? That's not sad. It's easy to wonder how some do it. The answer is often debt!

gigiblanks · 05/01/2020 16:25

I find it weird that some people want to clean all the time & even weirder that people aspire to that.

gigiblanks · 05/01/2020 16:30

Having said that I don't think the "bragging" & stealth boasts that social media seems to revel in is a good thing. I also don't necessarily agree with the don't like, don't follow. I don't follow Kim Kardashian but I will still condemn her for some of the shite she promotes.

Dollymixture22 · 05/01/2020 16:36

I went to school with a lady who has the perfect life on Facebook. Lives in an expensive area, happy marriage, flash car etc etc.

Husband cheats and can’t hold down a job. Her parents often pay her mortgage. He car was a weekend loan from a job he then got fired from. Husband has huge credit card debts and they have screaming rows on nights out, both pissed (which is how we know all this🙄).

Yet is is #livingherperfectlife😂

bingbangbing · 05/01/2020 16:43

@Londongirl86

I agree.

I think it's all horrible. The obsession with cleaning and OCD levels of hygiene is not a good thing. Materialism ran riot is not a good thing.

I can't stand the Hinch thing. It's trying to wash all the colour from life- literally. Sterilise the entire house...

Horrible for the environment and the soul. Not to mention the implications for feminism.

Been told I'm a snob for thinking that. But you're a snob for thinking full stop these days!

Choppersicballs · 05/01/2020 16:44

Finance maybe.

You can have carpets, beds, sofas, anything on finance so maybe it’s loads on finance and a lot of time spent cleaning because they don’t have any money spare after that to do anything else?

Do they have lots of big holidays and do the kids do lots of activities? If not I’d definitely suspect a credit funded lifestyle.

Londongirl86 · 05/01/2020 16:53

@bingbangbing

Couldn't agree more. I don't even want to write this incase people take it the wrong way. But alot of people are going to develop problems with their lungs etc by cleaning to that extent. I use method stuff alot now. Branded ones with chemicals in used to make my chest dry and sore. I realised how bad it was for me to breathe it in.

It's incredibly sad how people have forgotten to be happy with what they have. I have a few sink cleaners on my SM. They love a good minkey cloth. I just roll my eyes!

Leadershipmaterial · 05/01/2020 18:30

feel sorry for our kids with all the showy lifestyles now

You don't have to buy into this crap you know?

How the hell has evolution ended up here? Is this the pinnacle of our global human achievements that we sit and follow some total random who cleans and posts pictures of cleaning? The world has gone utterly bonkers.

Simpler days do seem like a parallel universe, this obsession with SM just leads to so much unhappiness.