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To wonder how this lady does this

204 replies

Ellafoambanana · 05/01/2020 11:00

A few years ago now a 19 year-old added me on Facebook. I was 26 at the time. She was doing that Juice plus thing so adding random people.she seemed very nice she had a child my age, occasionally we swapped comments with each other on a picture or whatever. it started to dawn on me that she didn't work other than the Juice plus and her young teenage boyfriend was in the army. I know they don't particularly get paid a massive amount of money. She started doing care work last year and then had another baby.

She's about 23 now I presume and and she literally has absolutely everything and all her life is 100% under control. Her house is immaculate. Brand new everything and constantly spending money. I remember this summer she had all her garden done up. She got rid of all her beautiful beds with gorgeous velvet crushed headboardsbut she got a couple of years ago and she replaced them with more grey shiny headboard beds. All her carpets are grey all her bedding is grey her sofas are grey. All brand new. She had a new shark hoover a couple of months ago, fridge freezer a new cooker and a kettle. One of those fancy glass dining tables with the big fancy cushion chairs. She has one of those expensive steam mops.she bought one of those massive log burner things for the garden and one of those fire pits. Load of gravel went down a new barbecue was brought.

Over the last 4 years of having this girl on my Facebook I have watched her spend money like she's a millionaire.she had a baby about 6 months ago and in her pregnancy she easily must have spent about £5,000 on random stuff.or personalised my 1st years most expensive pram her bedroom was done up like a showroom. All the baby grows from mamas and papas. Expensive outfits that cost £30 each. She had absolutely everything you could think of for that baby.

when they have takeaways which is several times a week they have Domino's and they have everything with it. When is coming up to one of the kids birthdays she just buys ridiculous amounts of presents. I'd guess that she spend at least £600 on each child for their birthdays and christmases.she's constantly spending £100 in next and put in piles of clothes on with labels so we can see the prices. It's like she just never stops.

Then on top of all this she has a huge cleaning obsession. She is a hinch fan. She buys all the zoflora and flash in bulk.
She's always doing these videos of cleaning up. The ones that make you think how is she doing that and being a mother at the same time. There's no signs of toys in the living room and the kids bedrooms are immaculate.she hoovers through every single day and does videos of her shark hoover making lines in the carpet. She cleans her cupboards and fridge every week and does the videos of her wiping them out.her latest thing is tap the screen to see my tidy house so she does before and after shots of her cleaning up. She shows her ironing pile then shows us the baby gros all folded nearly away. She loves cleaning. She does her kitchen every night so it's immaculate and all pots away. Nothing draining. Candles lit. Then shows pictures of her relaxing on the sofa at night.

Her Christmas decorations were obviously expensive and all matching. Her paper matched her baubles.

I'm 30 and trying My best to stop my kids messing up the room I've just tidied. I can't get my life in order because of the fact little people like playing and eating and sneaking in the cupboards.

How does someone who buys so much have such a tidy organised house. How do they afford it anyway? It's none of my business. I've just noticed people are getting more and more like this. The need to be tidy and perfect. Their children to be perfect and have it all.

Also at 23 her life is so perfect and she has everything even 40 year olds are still trying to get. How is that? It's bizarre isn't it. Also she doesnt seem to have any friends or mix. She seems to be alone all the time.

Has Mrs hinch made people sad or is this a positive thing.

It gets annoying seeing people showing you what they have all the time? It's a strange world we live in now isn't it.

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 05/01/2020 12:31

Was just curious why so many people want to show you this stuff now.

Why does anyone show anything to random people they don't know? To show off, get attention, make a statement, sell something, have insecurities and they feel better at faking it online...etc. There could be any number of reasons but as you don't know her, you'll not know why she is doing that.

Ellafoambanana · 05/01/2020 12:31

She's local but not a friend. She has friends in common. Added me for juice plus. I wish I hadn't started this post as it obviously makes me come across jelous and weird. It's just all you see. She's one example. But I feel this is some new craze started by people like Mrs hinch. It gets draining seeing things. Makes you question why your own life isn't organised and stuff. I guess I'm just not a naturally good home maker.

OP posts:
Ludo19 · 05/01/2020 12:36

You come across severely jealous and extremely obsessed by someone else's life.

Concentrate on your own shit and LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE. I f she wants to post her life on Facebook let her crack on....you don't have to read it.

People like you who invest time in other people's lives are living in a sad existence. Googling salaries.....that's just messed up.
So what if she has a lot if grey decor? Did you pay for it?

ShawshanksRedemption · 05/01/2020 12:39

Ah OP, please my love, just stop torturing yourself and feeling less than perfect by what is shown to you on a screen. It's not real. It's only what she has chosen to show, not what is actually happening.

Are your kids happy? Are they thriving? Isn't that what is the most important thing - not whether you have a Shark cleaner or drive the latest Range Rover?

Honest, step away from the fake perfection, and stop beating yourself up over it. You're human, you're allowed to get things wrong, f*ck up occasionally, learn from it, move on and live life.

Ellafoambanana · 05/01/2020 12:39

I'm not slagging her grey decor off. I'm saying everything new, everything matched, everything replaced. I'm a saddo for my eyes seeing her posts every day and thinking she has alot for a carer at 20 years old with two kids? Am I not allowed an opinion without being a sad person. You are telling me I have a sad life? You are on Mumsnet on a Sunday looking at a stranger's post and having an opinion. You are no different to me. You come on here to talk, judge and advise!

OP posts:
Neverenoughcoffee · 05/01/2020 12:41

I'm curious about your comment about struggling with keeping your home spotless. Do you feel a need to keep your home spotless? Where does that need come from?
Maybe you're thinking you should be living up to someone else's standards?
Have you spent time thinking about your priorities for your life? You can define your own values and live by those.
What do you do with your free time? If I have free time I'd rather sit down with a gin and tonic and a good book, or go out and explore the outdoors, or spend time with friends, or play with my kids. The house can wait. I can't imagine ever looking back over my life and wishing I'd kept a tidier house, but I can imagine wishing I'd taken more care with my own happiness and contentment and found out more about what I enjoy and done more of that.

BlackCatSleeping · 05/01/2020 12:44

Well, my personal experience is that genuinely well-off people don’t post this sort of thing. It’s mainly the faking-it crowd.

Quick, I tidied the living room, better get a photo for Instagram.

BlackCatSleeping · 05/01/2020 12:45

Also, I think people are overthinking it. I’m sure it’s just idle curiosity on the OP’s part.

Illberidingshotgun · 05/01/2020 12:46

Just because you don't have the "perfect" existence that is portrayed online, does not make you a poor homemaker, far from it. Your children are growing up being able to be curious, get sticky fingers, have their toys out to play with. TBH that sounds far healthier than these IG lifestyles that are portrayed. Don't do yourself down and don't beat yourself up. I'm pleased that you've unfriended her. Unfriend/unfollow anyone else that you find "draining" as you describe it. You will feel so much better for it. (I also need to follow my own advice Grin) Enjoy your own life and know that your children are growing up in a normal, loving home. Please please embrace the mess, the stickiness and the chaos. It's over so quickly.

PegasusReturns · 05/01/2020 12:46

Use this as an opportunity to revaluation your life if you’re unhappy.

I’m on insta - I love whiling away a spare half hour looking at interior posts. They’ve given me some great ideas on how I want things in my house to look/work. Use it as a force for good.

Sagradafamiliar · 05/01/2020 12:49

If her home is organised and pristine (which is probably is if that's what makes her happy) and yours isn't, then you have different priorities, that's all! Don't be naive. And don't listen to those telling you her life is dull and shit just to make you feel better. There doesn't have to be anything wrong with her. People are all different and there's nothing more to it.

Biscuitsandteaplease · 05/01/2020 12:54

What is an MLM?

It all sounds pretty fake to me tbh OP, much like the majority of these things on SM which is why I don't use it any more

Ellafoambanana · 05/01/2020 12:54

Thank you. Yeah my house is a working progress. Trying to get an order to it. Won't be matching everything anytime soon because we don't have heaps of money. We have nice things when we need them.

I like to go for walks, cuppa with friends and at home I like a netflix binge. Getting into cooking too at the moment.

I didn't mean it to be a creepy post. It's not like I search for her. She was lurking around on my social media for a few years and I deleted her after this Christmas. It does make me feel negative. It makes you feel that you should have no clutter and a perfect home. Id love to have a life as organised as hers yes. But it's not realistic with our work schedules, school runs and home life. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I don't over invest and obsess over her. Just the last few days her spending has been ridiculous that annoyed me to delete her. It got me thinking about all the hinch army and stuff. I wish more people were real and showed the struggles and less and chaos. I find boosting about money distasteful.

Could well be she's inherited some money. You are right I shouldn't judge. But I still don't know why she shows us everything she buys. It's abit much daily. Even when she's been to b&m she's showing us everything.

Thanks for reading. I will focus more on my life and not have to see it anymore.

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 05/01/2020 12:55

I'd guess she's trying to become a Mrs Hinch figure/build a SM career, or it's on tick. It's very rarely that outward signs of wealth = loaded, usually it's the opposite ime.

messolini9 · 05/01/2020 12:57

Over the last 4 years of having this girl on my Facebook I have watched her spend money like she's a millionaire.

You haven't. You've been watching her post pics of millionaire-status household goods.

See the recent thread about a CF MLM 'friend' who was actually posting pics of OP's home & passing off as her own, all 'purchased' due to her MLM business acumen of course ...

XXcstatic · 05/01/2020 12:58

If I have free time I'd rather sit down with a gin and tonic and a good book, or go out and explore the outdoors, or spend time with friends, or play with my kids. The house can wait. I can't imagine ever looking back over my life and wishing I'd kept a tidier house, but I can imagine wishing I'd taken more care with my own happiness and contentment and found out more about what I enjoy and done more of that

Agree. I find it sad that young women are being encouraged to waste their time on excessive cleaning. You can be clean and tidy without worrying about whether your washing machine detergent drawer is pristine FFS, and all the other Mrs Hinch nonsense.

My brother had a friend whose mother was a clean freak. Her kids spent all their time at ours because we were allowed to make a mess.

iforgotthatyouexisted · 05/01/2020 12:58

Why do you care, really? You obviously don't like her so don't be friends with her just so you can judge and be nosey.

Honesty the way you can list all her stuff and changes to her home makes you sound like an obsessive stalker.

Also, she's an adult. Call her a lady instead of a woman if you absolutely must but she's not a girl.

nevermorelenore · 05/01/2020 13:00

I used to get debt collection letters for a previous tenant of our rented house. Googled her name and her Instagram made her life seem extremely glamorous. Selective photos of the house, which was a bog standard new build, photos of a shiny new SUV which I'm sure she borrowed or was just test driving. Meanwhile, lots of credit and store card companies were chasing her for debts. It's so easy to fake these things on social media.

katzenellenbogen · 05/01/2020 13:00

obviously makes me come across jelous and weird

It's not about being jealous and weird, it's about being naive enough to believe that any of it is actually true.

tigerbear · 05/01/2020 13:02

My EX SIL was like this.
She bled my brother dry - every time she went out, she came back with something new for either her or their daughter.
My niece was always dressed impractically - party type frilly dresses to go to the park for instance.
SIL always immaculate - full makeup at all times, full fake tan all year round, nails done at a salon every few weeks, hair extensions, new cosmetics and skincare all the time - always high end brands.

House always immaculate - she used to get anxious if it wasn’t, and think had mild OCD.

Got an inheritance just before she and my brother split up and blew the lot - holidays, new car with personalised number plates, drugs, more clothes.
I think she’s in massive debt.
Only works 3 days a week in a low paying job, so she must be.

Def agree that it’s all for show (in her case anyway, obv can’t say in the example of your friend).

dreamingofmushrooms · 05/01/2020 13:04

They always said one of the Hatton Garden jewel thieves got away with it...

Grin
MamaKarmaLlama · 05/01/2020 13:07

‘Boasting about money’ is mainly what SM exists for...boasting about possessions, holidays, perfect lives....but it’s all nonsense. I have a friend like this, you would think she had the perfect existence and is completely loaded if you looked at her Instagram. She’s in an awful marriage, constantly having affairs and is in quite a lot of debt from buying useless stuff to show off about. Not much fun posting that on SM though is it? It’s a head f*ck I know, that’s why I don’t let my kids have it. Constantly comparing yourself to others messes with your mental health, and we are adults...imagine what it does to kids. Get rid of it.

Straycatstrut · 05/01/2020 13:07

I get how you feel. I felt like this when I was on Facebook.

My childhood best friend was like this woman, but to a lesser degree. We're no longer close, but it was still hard not to compare when she was splashing it all over social media, every single day. She's part time in a call centre, her OH is an emergency care assistant. I googled the salaries too and nothing added up. Yeah it may sound "stalkery" but how is it she is shoving her life in my face?!!

When they both weren't working they had a baby and bought a house. Now they have two children, go abroad twice a year to clubbing resorts and party with celebrities! They have big posh sports cars. She learned to drive on a crash course and got a car a couple of years ago (that adds up to thousands!). She's always getting beauty treatment. New clothes. All the kids stuff is matching from Next (she makes sure you know it's "this season" and posts the link to the website). They had the kitchen and daughters bedroom completely re-done (everything big and expensive, solid wood and big American style refrigerator) in the same year as 3 holidays abroad. Kids are always having expensive days out. I'm struggling on my own exhausting myself and hoping I can take my kids for a day in blackpool this year. Just baffles me!

It's the CONSTANT shoving it in peoples faces that annoys me. Why can't you buy things and just keep it to yourself? Why does making others feel jealous matter so much?

Since coming off Facebook I've found I live a much better life Grin...

AmazingGreats · 05/01/2020 13:08

Buying a posh prom and clothes from next is not what millionaire level spending is. I think it's pretty standard tbh. Baby equipment you can pay for in instalments, i am pretty sure you can do the same thing with next if they still have store cards, and that's without using loans, overdrafts, credit cards etc. Even then on a relatively low income you can spend a lot in one area and it not cripple you, if the areas you are spending lots of money on are on kids clothes and cleaning products they are basically the cleanest stuff out there.

AmazingGreats · 05/01/2020 13:08

Cheapest stuff out there sorry

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