To wonder how this lady does this

[Ellafoambanana]

A few years ago now a 19 year-old added me on Facebook. I was 26 at the time. She was doing that Juice plus thing so adding random people.she seemed very nice she had a child my age, occasionally we swapped comments with each other on a picture or whatever. it started to dawn on me that she didn't work other than the Juice plus and her young teenage boyfriend was in the army. I know they don't particularly get paid a massive amount of money. She started doing care work last year and then had another baby.

She's about 23 now I presume and and she literally has absolutely everything and all her life is 100% under control. Her house is immaculate. Brand new everything and constantly spending money. I remember this summer she had all her garden done up. She got rid of all her beautiful beds with gorgeous velvet crushed headboardsbut she got a couple of years ago and she replaced them with more grey shiny headboard beds. All her carpets are grey all her bedding is grey her sofas are grey. All brand new. She had a new shark hoover a couple of months ago, fridge freezer a new cooker and a kettle. One of those fancy glass dining tables with the big fancy cushion chairs. She has one of those expensive steam mops.she bought one of those massive log burner things for the garden and one of those fire pits. Load of gravel went down a new barbecue was brought.

Over the last 4 years of having this girl on my Facebook I have watched her spend money like she's a millionaire.she had a baby about 6 months ago and in her pregnancy she easily must have spent about £5,000 on random stuff.or personalised my 1st years most expensive pram her bedroom was done up like a showroom. All the baby grows from mamas and papas. Expensive outfits that cost £30 each. She had absolutely everything you could think of for that baby.

when they have takeaways which is several times a week they have Domino's and they have everything with it. When is coming up to one of the kids birthdays she just buys ridiculous amounts of presents. I'd guess that she spend at least £600 on each child for their birthdays and christmases.she's constantly spending £100 in next and put in piles of clothes on with labels so we can see the prices. It's like she just never stops.

Then on top of all this she has a huge cleaning obsession. She is a hinch fan. She buys all the zoflora and flash in bulk.
She's always doing these videos of cleaning up. The ones that make you think how is she doing that and being a mother at the same time. There's no signs of toys in the living room and the kids bedrooms are immaculate.she hoovers through every single day and does videos of her shark hoover making lines in the carpet. She cleans her cupboards and fridge every week and does the videos of her wiping them out.her latest thing is tap the screen to see my tidy house so she does before and after shots of her cleaning up. She shows her ironing pile then shows us the baby gros all folded nearly away. She loves cleaning. She does her kitchen every night so it's immaculate and all pots away. Nothing draining. Candles lit. Then shows pictures of her relaxing on the sofa at night.

Her Christmas decorations were obviously expensive and all matching. Her paper matched her baubles.

I'm 30 and trying My best to stop my kids messing up the room I've just tidied. I can't get my life in order because of the fact little people like playing and eating and sneaking in the cupboards.

How does someone who buys so much have such a tidy organised house. How do they afford it anyway? It's none of my business. I've just noticed people are getting more and more like this. The need to be tidy and perfect. Their children to be perfect and have it all.

Also at 23 her life is so perfect and she has everything even 40 year olds are still trying to get. How is that? It's bizarre isn't it. Also she doesnt seem to have any friends or mix. She seems to be alone all the time.

Has Mrs hinch made people sad or is this a positive thing.

It gets annoying seeing people showing you what they have all the time? It's a strange world we live in now isn't it.

It's normal to feel a bit jealous and normal to wonder how they do it---because if you knew maybe you could it too! I have had these feelings about people too. People get money from all over. They use credit cards but they might have parents who give a lot, or a windfall, or anything. They might also deny that and say 'I just work hard' or some such. Either way, it gets a bit destructive to dwell on it. I would just unfollow her tbh.

Don't believe everything you see on the internet.

I'm wondering whether maybe she is really savvy and bought a lot of the things she has secondhand. Or maybe she got a lottery win or inheritance. Maybe the cars are leased, rather than bought. And maybe she gets a lot of things for free if she's doing blogging/whatever you call it. Sometimes I like looking at stuff like that, I think it's nice to get ideas or (in my case, as I have no imagination when it comes to decor etc!) motivation to make a home look smart.

One of my mates posts LOADS up on FB. You'd think she was def swimming in money....but I know she's scrimped, saved and worked her butt off (she has her own business - not an MLM thing! - which is taking off) over the years, saved up for the nicer things etc.

I know a lovely family (well, they're my son's uncle and aunt) who run a parenting blog/website thing - and they get given a huge amount of quite costly things from companies to try out and review. Stuff they'd never be able to afford normally. If you didn't know them, again you'd think that they were swimming in money and that their life was picture perfect. However, they're very down to earth and honest in their blogs: they tell you about the good times and the bad. And I know that they've been through a hell of a load of crap times.

I don't post stuff up like the lady you know does, however if you were to look at me, you'd see I have a 3bed semi (rented from HA), a 67reg car (leased through my job - it worked out cheaper) on the drive, and that my DD got a Fur-Real Pet toy for Xmas (which I bought for £12 from eBay!). I'm a single parent of 2, working full time as a nurse. Many of the "nice things" I have are from a time when I was financially a lot better off and not single. I try to buy things secondhand wherever possible. Our holidays are cheap camping trips around the UK. My house is clean but definitely not that tidy though!!!

@Drabarni so you assume I'm not bringing my kids up right because I've commented on someone's ridiculous spending and showing off? I'm saying that are growing up in this show off,look at me world.sometimes you can try and do the right things but there's a huge amount of pressure on people these days. All the fakery, filters, consumerism, having immaculate homes and the best of everything is what people do now.
Its only going to get worse as our children grow up. They can't escape it.

I'm not sad. But I presume you are as you are also doing the same thing. Hanging about on Mumsnet calling me sad and judging my life.

Maybe she has a compulsive spending problem, maybe she is insecure and posting to make herself fell better. Maybe she is up to her eyes in debt. Who knows

Maybe Op you need to focus n your reaction to this, you can't control what people do, only your reaction to it. It is obviously bringing up some stuff in you, so maybe step back and think about it.

You're different and don't want / need that stuff (0r do you? not sure) It is really sensible to be owning / spending so much on baby stuff when they won't need it in a few months?

Maybe in reality you could focus on gratitude, being glad you don't need the kind of attention / affirmation these posters do.

We stay in a very nice hotel in the USA from time to time. Lots of people come and take shots for instagram.

This. I have a very wealthy friend. We went to an exclusive restaurant and sat at a table in the bar for a few nibbles and drinks before dinner and laughed our arses off at people dressed to the nines posing in front of luxury cars that had been parked in the valet car park.

Boasting about money/ designer labels/ how much you, have is in extremely poor taste. You just keep these things to yourself and certainly dont go all out to prove them to others.
Whether you own them or not, having the need to show yourself in such a way, i believe reflects a deep insecurity, and the need to prove some form of grandiosity rather than focus on real life. Having solid relationships, enjoying your children doing worthwhile things and generally enjoying life, as opposed to creating an image to display, are the really important things.
I have a very small SM network, it consists of only people I know in real life, who I would happily meet up with/speak to in the street and importantly whose phone numbers I have. I use it just to share updates about fun incidents with my family or little significant anecdotes. Many if my friends are worldwide and constantly moving country so this is a better option than mail. My accounts are both set as private.
Unless you are a career photographer or using SM for business purposes i do not understand the reasoning behind having accounts accessible to anyone and accepting strangers requests, even if they are friends of friends. Those people are only out to prove something to themselves and to show off an illusion they have created.
Enjoy your life you know you are real and what's important, forget the frauds. They wont get far in the real world.

This is interesting, impact of bragging / MH / social media. www.counselheal.com/articles/37203/20170331/understand-mental-health-impact-bragging-social-media.htm

Also this. www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/close-encounters/201703/how-other-people-judge-us-online

Seeing this obviously annoys you & you're really over investing in it! You don't really know her.
Back off from Facebook & other sm a bit, use the time you save to spend time with your own family in your own home. Think about what really matters. Who cares what a random stranger is doing?
You say you feel sorry for today's children with showy lifestyles on display so set an example yourself & stop looking at it!

People can’t create time out of thin air. If she’s doing all her own (extreme) cleaning then her child is almost definitely sat in front of the telly. Which is fine. But it’s not “having everything.” Something has to give.

Some people are more organised. I know lots of parents who could take photos of a tidy house. It doesn't mean their DCs aren't allowed to play. Also, someone who is projecting a certain image will take pics when their place is tidy. They also sometimes use other people's homes or places they've rented. You have no idea what is real and what isn't because you don't know this woman. You've never been to her house or been driven in her DH's car.
It's as though you've bought into a fairystory but are annoyed that you've bought in. She's not selling anything. But you're choosing to buy a fantasy life and then resenting it. I'm not sure that's healthy.
But then again, I don't mind people 'looking up to people who clean their house. I think it's a nice redress for the many years, they've been looked down upon.

However she pays for it I can't imagine how she bothers to post it all on facebook. How on earth did she manage to find excuses to post pictures of all her new headboards, kettle, toaster and mop!

It's what you post, not what you post
I might post a pic of a takeaway, I'm not going to post the numerous times I have beans on toast or cereal
I posted my living room and kitchen freshly painted and my new carpet, but anyone who knows me, knows it was a massive insurance claim due to flooding and a firework
I posted a nice pic of some flowers on insta, I didn't post this photo where my house looks like a bomb site because I've been sick for over a week (see pics!)

I find you very sad tbh OP, especially since you start threads about what other people have.
Obviously this is the mindset you choose to raise your children unless you change your personality when around your dc.
Teach them not to be pressured then, it's not difficult, you are choosing to be so sad.
Lead them away from peer pressure and thinking for themself, this too isn't difficult.
No reason to feel sorry for your kids, unless you don't change your attitude.

@Drabarni you are completely wrong with that comment. Calling me sad again? I bet you have judged people for things. You are judging me right now without knowing anything. I think you need to go find a hobby because I think you sound like a bully. Change your own attitude first before telling others to change!

My reaction reading the op was good for her and so what !
Yes some people have more or less are they happier than you or me maybe maybe not .
I really wouldn't compare your life to someone else and if it concerns you then block . You have to feel sorry for someone who has to share things like what they have bought it's a bit sad too .
I'd stay off social media too it's making you very unhappy trying to figure out how a woman buys everything and keeps house tidy will do your head in .

Comparison is the thief of joy.
I think you both sound pretty dysfunctional.
I’ve always found that no one that posts shit like your “friend”, or the ones that obsess over them, is really happy and content within themselves.

Oh well, OP raise your kids to be as sad and as jealous as you, of people with more stuff than them.
I'm judging you for your sad life, having to follow people you don't like, pretending to be friends.
I have numerous hobbies and a life that doesn't include snooping on others lifestyles and starting threads about them.
As for bullying, oh dear, you really are stuck in the playground, how old are you?

OP you seem desperate for validation through creating negativity round this women - why is that? It comes across quite unpleasant.

If you think her life is awful ignore it, unfollow and get on with your own life. If there are elements that you’d like to emulate do so positively without the mean streak that is glowing throughout your posts.

There’s nothing I’d like less in terms of house style than a crushed velvet headboard and a drawer full of zolflora but why would I slate someone else for making that choice?

Why assume she’s an inadequate parent who is creating problems for her DC. Why do you need to tear her down to build yourself up? It’s very distasteful and I suspect suggests you’re pretty unhappy. Focus on fixing that and not slating some poor girl who sounds like she’s doing ok for herself.

@drabani you have me all figured out don't you. I don't care if you think I'm sad from one post on Mumsnet! Your comment is absolutely childish!

I find the constant boasting distasteful that's all. Putting it in our faces everyday saying look at my new hoover, etc.
But these people only do it because people like you follow and are interested.

Just. Click. Unfollow.

I feel sorry for our kids with all the showy lifestyles now so show your kids, by your lack of interest in her and similar, that this isn't something to aspire too. Follow Brian Cox or Gordon Buchanan, follow Greta Thunberg or similar people making a positive difference.

However she pays for it I can't imagine how she bothers to post it all on facebook. How on earth did she manage to find excuses to post pictures of all her new headboards, kettle, toaster and mop!

Because she'll have bought them with posting about it in mind. Otherwise she probably wouldn't bother and would keep the same old functional hoover/kettle/toaster she had for years until it malfunctioned, or they saw a really good bargain...like most people.

She'll have it all planned - the photos the captions etc.

I think these people will look back on this type of behaviour and cringe at it all and sigh at the utter waste of time it all was!

Come off social media op, or only connect with people you have a genuine heart connection with.
The comparison have can go only one way, don’t do it to yourself.

But I don't buy four packs at £17 and then six outfits then pop over the mamas and papas for another four or five outfits. Her kids get UGG boots every few months.

It really isn't healthy to be this into someone else's life. Yes she posts it, but most people scroll on by
You're giving it enough head space to come onto a different forum and retell it all. Get a new hobby.