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Original poster

Can’t stop thinking about this comment..

343 replies

sunshinegirl13 · 19/12/2019 20:58

(Sorry if this is a long post but I will only add what is needed for context)

Throughout all of my adult life I have been a size 8 but due to complications with endometriosis and blood clots last year, I got the contraceptive injection to stop my periods and as a result of this my thyroid has become under active and I have now gained a lot of weight and am now a size 14.

This year I have lost a stone and have been trying really hard to get back into shape as I feel so down about the way I look. This was inspired by the goal of a two week holiday abroad that I went to on the 3rd of December.

I got myself lots of new nice clothes and made a real effort to try and build my self confidence. I mostly felt ok in what I was wearing and could feel almost stylish.

However, one day on the holiday I went to a shopping complex on the beach with my DM. I was wearing a swimsuit with a skort cover up over the top and I felt like I looked nice for a change as I felt the swimsuit flattered My curves and the skort was flattering on my stomach.

As I was browsing the shop a lady selling something on a market stall called out to me and said “do you know how disgusting you look from the back?” I at first thought I had miss-heard her and looked confused so she repeated “Do you know how disgusting you look?” I was so upset and confused I tried to walk away but my DM (who was previously looking in a shop) walked over to join me. The women then shouted to her “are you her mother?” To which my mum replied yes. I walked away to escape the situation but my DM approached her and she repeated about how disgusting I looked to her. I walked to a near by bench and cried my eyes out. My mother complained to the manager of the shop her market stall was out but I ended up cutting our shopping day short as I felt so self conscious.

At first I thought it could’ve been because my skirt was short (not indecent - especially for the beach) but there were girls wandering around in their bikinis (and even a girl in a thong bikini standing next to the shop).

I can’t stop thinking about this comment and thinking about how fat and grotesque I must look for a random women to say this. I have never felt more insecure and I don’t know how to speed up the weight loss process more than I can. I can’t come off the injection as it’s the only thing helping with my endometriosis that works. I just feel so disappointed in myself and unhappy.

My mum believes this happened because I have a very prominent hour glass figure (which is true but a wobbly belly) and that the women felt I looked ‘disgusting’ as it was sexier than most others but I feel like my DM is just trying to make me feel better and can’t stop over thinking.

I don’t really know what the point in this post is but maybe to get some tips on how to stop overthinking those cruel words, every time I close my eyes at night to go to bed I just repeat it over and over in my head.

Sorry for the long winded vent post

OP posts:

LissJas · 20/12/2019 06:51

Sunshine - hrtft yet but I got to your photo and had to comment - OMG you are STUNNING. Absolutely STUNNING.

Ignore anyone for all of time who implies that you aren't!

Ps. I'm also someone who has gained weight through medication and I feel properly shit about myself atm so I know where you're coming from in terms of feelings.

Southmouth · 20/12/2019 06:58

It’s shocks me how horrible some people can actually be..

You look amazing!

MistyReturns · 20/12/2019 07:11

You look stunning. If I had that figure I'd be wearing that swimsuit to work, school pick up - everywhere!
The only excuse I can give the woman is that maybe from the back you can see a little buttock (it being swimwear) and she mistook it for an inappropriately short dress? Even so she was super rude and out of order. Personally I think she was a total nut job. I know it's hard, but please try to forget her & continue to enjoy that beaut figure (trust me in 20 years you'll really really miss it)

PompeyBez · 20/12/2019 07:17

I've not read all the comments. First of all a size 14 is not fat. Secondly, it doesn't matter if you are a size 8,10,18,20 or 30. No one has the right to publicly comment on your figure like that. You can wear what you bloomin well like!! Lastly, I've seen your picture. Wowser!! You are stunning! Your figure is great. If I had your figure I would wear that outfit every day!! But, I know how hurtful these sorts of comments are. It really does say more about the person that said it than it does about you.

TheOrigFV45 · 20/12/2019 08:57

First of all a size 14 is not fat

Well it can be. I would most definitely be fat it was a size 14 as I have a very small frame.

Flacker · 20/12/2019 09:30

OP I have a friend with a figure like yours and when we were your age she used to get all sorts of grief from other women, anything from dirty looks to rudeness to comments to just outright ignoring. Every single one of them stemmed from jealousy issues! Like you've seen from a few people on this thread too, some people take their low self esteem out on other people. I appreciate some people just can't understand how you would be feeling bad about yourself with a figure like that but when you've put on weight in a short amount of time it absolutely does effect how you look at yourself. You just need a bit of time to adjust to your new killer bod

IhateBoswell · 20/12/2019 09:38

Like you've seen from a few people on this thread too, some people take their low self esteem out on other people.

Late to the thread? Not one of the deleted comments was disparaging of the figure in the photograph. Zero to do with low self esteem, half-a-tale.

Sagradafamiliar · 20/12/2019 09:39

She was clearly utterly sick with jealousy. It must be shit to live inside her head.

Ciwirocks · 20/12/2019 09:44

You have a really lovely figure op, please listen to the 259 comments (as of now) and forget the one comment made my someone who is clearly a bit mad!

PrincessIsAUnicorn · 20/12/2019 09:51

@sunshinegirl13 wow, you have an amazing figure, the lady was clearly jealous. My belly and bottom are bigger than the rest of my body, I have to look behind me before bending down, as I keep rear ending people 🤦🏼‍♀️

HowlsMovingBungalow · 20/12/2019 09:55

What @ShamefulBlanket said.

Panticus · 20/12/2019 09:56

Oh OP, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach when I read your post. What an awfully upsetting thing to happen and I can totally understand why you can't stop thinking about it.

I can only echo what everyone else has said on here - you are absolutely gorgeous. I don't know why some people can be so cruel, but please take comfort from all of these comments and try to forget her. I can guarantee that in 10/20/30+ years' time you will look back on photos of you now and see how bloody stunning you are. Embrace it now and fuck her off out of your headspace.

spiderlight · 20/12/2019 09:56

OP, your figure is amazing! Honestly, that photo is beautiful and the woman sounds seriously unhinged.

Flacker · 20/12/2019 09:57

IHateBoswell I was talking about the people saying she obviously loves herself and is posting pictures for attention. Exactly the sort of comments my friend used to get from people who couldn't deal with seeing another person being given compliments.

BaubleTheLumpOfCoal · 20/12/2019 10:19

@Flacker absolutely no one said that.

It was the attention seeking, Facebook-esque, faux 'I can't believe you're all being so nice about me '
That posters were calling out on.
Especially when someone, with such a 'damaged' self-esteem, posts a picture of themselves on a public forum for the world to see and comment on - you don't do that unless you're pretty confident in the replies you're going to receive.

If OP had come on, posted the picture and then said 'Could you please tell me if you think I'm fat...' - the compliments would've been the same, but it would have been transparent.
The fishing for compliments thing was annoying - no one cares that OP received the gushing compliments, it's the way she went about it.

This is MN, a forum for (what I thought) was chat, support and decent conversation. FB and Instagram are the available outlets to boost your confidence, if needed.

Magnificentme · 20/12/2019 10:36

Wow u are gorgeous seriously she was jealous

IhateBoswell · 20/12/2019 10:39

Agreed BaubleTheLumpOfCoal. I genuinely struggle to believe anyone with low self esteem would post a picture of themselves in a swimsuit on a public forum.

Apparently that makes me a troll, or with low self esteem myself. Or I can't deal with other people being given compliments

Yummymummy2020 · 20/12/2019 10:47

I really think this was a case of jealously!!! What a weirdo though to be shouting out such rude and mean things. I can’t imagine you were the only one on the receiving end of this behaviour, not that it helps you feel better. Some people! It’s an awful feeling I totally understand. I was on heart medication and gained weight, I wasn’t allowed exercise at the time either and regardless of eating like a rabbit gained a few stone. An aunty passed comment in front of everyone at a family party about how much weight I had gained and looked much bigger and I was heart broken at the time, cried my eyes out at home! It actually caused a lot of disordered eating (I was already prone to it in the past but this added fuel to the fire). I work really hard now to not let other people’s issues get in on me as if the shoe was on the other foot I know I would never say that to someone else so it really does speak volumes about them and not you!

BringMeTea · 20/12/2019 10:56

This is bollix.

pazwaz70 · 20/12/2019 11:02

Your figure is knockout. Just remember the likes of the Kardashians pay HUGE amounts of money to have a figure like yours.
She was obviously unhinged but it's easy for us to say all of this. If it knocks your confidence that is all you focus on xx

HowlsMovingBungalow · 20/12/2019 11:12

Gawjus hun xxx

yellowallpaper · 20/12/2019 11:28

You have a lovely voluptuous figure many girls would envy and I'm sure men are attracted to you. That woman was bonkers. I can't imagine anyone saying something so vile. Normal people, even if they see someone who is morbidly obese, wouldn't say anything so nasty. Just ignore.

LovePoppy · 20/12/2019 11:55

@sunshinegirl13 your shape is stunning, and even more importantly, you sound lovely

I wish I had had the confidence in my early 20s to rock my curves the way you are.

YoungHun · 20/12/2019 11:59

OMG you're figure is AMAZING!!!

That woman was unhinged, something not right with her!

YoungHun · 20/12/2019 12:00

*your

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