I dont believe that it is impossible for 2 opposite sex groups to find ways to support and help each other.
I disagree.
Also there have been mentions of suicide on this thread, complete with implied blame. This is a link to the cold hard facts about abusers ...
lundybancroft.com/articles/assessing-dangerousness-in-men-who-abuse-women/
Danger assessment for men who abuse women is still far from being an exact science, however. There are documented killings by men whose previous profile did not make them appear to have the potential for such severe or cruel violence. Therefore all abused women should be encouraged to work with a trained advocate on creating a safety plan. Women should also be encouraged to take seriously intuitions that they have about the dangerousness of a partner or former partner, even if he does not exhibit a large number of the risk factors listed below.
Factors that should be taken particularly seriously include:
The woman has a strong “gut” sense that the man could kill her or her children, or could carry out a serious and dangerous assault against any of them or against himself.
He is extremely jealous and possessive. This characteristic becomes even more worrisome when he appears to be obsessive, constantly keeping her at the center of his thoughts and appearing to be unable to conceive of life without her. He has, for example, made statements such as, “If I can’t have you, nobody will.”
He has a history of severe or very frequent violence toward her, or toward other individuals such as past partners.
He follows her, monitors her whereabouts, uses high-tech means to keep tabs on her, or stalks her in other ways. He knows where she lives and works, knows names and addresses of her friend or relatives, or is in very familiar with her daily routines.
She is taking steps to end the relationship, or has already done so.
He was violent to her during a pregnancy.
There are stepchildren involved.
He has threatened to kill her or to hurt her severely, has strangled her, or has threatened her with a weapon (including making verbal reference to using a weapon, even if he did not actually brandish it)
He has threatened to kill the children or the whole family.
He has access to weapons and/or he is familiar with their use.
<strong>He is depressed, suicidal, or shows signs of not caring what happens to him. He has, for example, threatened to kill himself if she leaves him.</strong>
He is unemployed.
He isn’t close to anyone, and no current relationships with friends or relatives are important to him.
He has a significant criminal history and/or he has a history of using violence or threatening violence against other people.
He abuses alcohol or drugs heavily, especially if his habits involve daily or nearly daily intoxication.
He has been violent to children.
He has killed or in other ways been violent to pets, or has used other terror tactics.
He uses pornography heavily and/or has a history or perpetrating sexual violence or degradation against his partner or others.
He has exhibited extreme behaviors when his current partner or past partners have made attempts to leave him.
The current state of knowledge does not make it possible to create a formula from the above factors to create low, moderate, and high-risk categories of risk. A particularly extreme presentation in even one of the above categories can be a basis for serious concern. Professionals, abused women, and others attempting to use this list of factors, need to apply their findings with common sense and intuition. When an abusive man appears particularly dangerous based on the above factors or for other reasons, professionals involved with him should inform the abused woman as soon as possible (more on this below). They should also inform appropriate police departments, any mental health or child protection professionals involved with the man, and anyone else who might be in a position to prevent a dangerous assault from taking place. Abuser programs and other professionals working directly with them an should inform him that they are concerned that he may commit a serious or lethal assault, and should try to persuade him to commit himself to a psychiatric hospital, substance abuse detox, or other facility that could contain him and persuade him not to become violent.