40% of domestic abuse victims are men

[PablosCat]

So says South East Coast Ambulance NHS foundation trust

Can anyone fact check that?!

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras exactly. I've often seen things along the lines of "I'd slap my man if I found him cheating" and that seems to be acceptable but can you imagine the uproar if a man admitted he'd hit his wife upon catching her cheating?

So it’s not the ‘men hit’ but ‘women psychologically abuse’

I didn't in any way claim or suggest this.

I think maybe men's aid orgs and women's aid orgs should work together to protect people who are genuine victims and not those aren't.

Plenty of posters on here have spoken about women who have claimed victimhood in order to further punish exes. and/or deny their children access to their fathers.

Domestic Violence as a societal ill may be a feminist issue but for individuals being abused we, as a society need to support whoever is being abused whether a woman abused by a man, or a woman, or a man abused by a woman or a man. If you are a lesbian being abused by a partner people parroting stats on M to F violence is of little use to you.

@wafflyversatile many organisations do work together. My organisation supports women, men and children who are victims.

Of course organisations such as Women's Aid are exclusively for female victims but other domestic abuse services can be accessed by victims regardless of their sex.

mushroomtree true. I was responding to a previous pp bringing up women's aid and men's orgs. I'm fine with women's aid choosing to only work with women too. I used to work with their interim CE, as it goes!

I'd love to see all organisations work together and just support any victim whatever their sex. Its one of the most surprising things about mens groups, there is no judgement, no one minimizing just a groups of men who support and talk to each other.

@wafflyversatile and @Singletomingle I'd like to see all organisations work together too.

Domestic abuse needs to stop regardless of who is the victim and who the perpetrator.

When you say "Its one of the most surprising things about mens groups, there is no judgement, no one minimizing just a groups of men who support and talk to each other.",

do you mean getting angry about men who dehumanise and murder women and the frequency of this, = judging? I guess you'd be right but the men who do this should quite rightly be judged as some here are doing.

My son's just phoned me. He's a teacher. They had a credible threat made at school that a girl was coming to attack one of their female students at home time. The police were contacted and said they were too busy to attend but would come when they could!!

The school sent the male teachers out to stand at the gate, basically to prevent this attack from occurring. Why? That was going to be female on female violence. Why weren't the female teachers sent down to sort it out?

The school sent the male teachers out to stand at the gate, basically to prevent this attack from occurring. Why? That was going to be female on female violence. Why weren't the female teachers sent down to sort it out?

Because men are generally stronger? Because hopefully male teachers don't take a "female on female violence, nowt to do with me" attitude towards the pupils under their care?

It's 2 16 year old girls. I reckon most adult women would be capable of dealing with it.

You'd equally hope that female teachers wouldn't take a "most to do with me attitude" too wouldn't you?

Apparently it's ok for men to risk being stabbed though.

So how would you have handled it?

And don't these statemenst contradict each other?

It's 2 16 year old girls. I reckon most adult women would be capable of dealing with it.

Apparently it's ok for men to risk being stabbed though.

Most adult women would be capable of dealing with it, but adult men would be at risk of stabbing? What would make the women more capable?

I meant it's ok for only the men to risk being stabbed. Send them out to risk being assaulted or attacked or stabbed but keep the women safely indoors. How so?

How would I have handled it? God knows. Teachers aren't trained or equipped to deal with it though are they?

Point is, it was female violence so why not down to females to deal with it?

What a coincidence that happened at the exact time a certain person was on a certain thread. Of course back in the real world the police - male and female would be sent to handle a credible threat of violence. Not vigilante teachers

Most adult women would be capable of dealing with it, but adult men would be at risk of stabbing? What would make the women more capable?

The being capable was in reference to you saying that the men were sent because they are stronger. My point was, it was 2 16 year old girls. Why wouldn't female staff be strong enough to deal with it? It wasn't like it was 2 20 stone men.

RuffleCrow

I'm really sorry that you don't believe it, but it's absolutely true. The police would have attended if the fight was happening but they wouldn't attend just in case despite a threat being made.

Teachers, sadly, are doing this every day. Happened at my DDS school more than once. Not just with girls, boys too.

Yes teacup, that was my point, that the size of the disparity is much more obvious if you express it in terms of relative risk rather than as 40% Male. I assumed that that was obvious but apparently not.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras - I work in a college. We have female security guards and female safeguarding officers, some of whom are pretty old actually. Pretty standard really.

Charley50

Our local college has security guards but this is a secondary school. None of the secondaries that I know have security guards.

I'm just not sure why it was only male staff who had to go.out. I don't agree that any staff should have to but wondering why female staff wouldn't also have been expected to if male staff were and, given the views on here, why female staff aren't expected to sort out violence amongst female students?

There’s no guarantee whatsoever that an adult female teacher will be bigger or stronger than a 16 year old girl, whereas it’s a pretty safe bet with an adult male teacher. Whether that makes it a sensible plan depends on the characters involved.

There’s no guarantee whatsoever that an adult female teacher will be bigger or stronger than a 16 year old girl, whereas it’s a pretty safe bet with an adult male teacher. Whether that makes it a sensible plan depends on the characters involved.

But posters have been arguing all along that women aren't a threat to other women in DV situations because they're pretty evenly matched.

I'm still not really getting my head round why it's down to men to sort out male violence but also now down to.men to sort out female violence because men are stronger? So, it's not down to women to sort anything out then is that it?

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz no I didnt judging of violent people. The groups I've been involved in are generally support type groups for anyone who is struggling from those who have suffered violent abuse to men who are simply lonely. What I mean by no judging is everyone is seen as equally deserving no matter what your need or story.

Because it isn't a systemic widespread issue, unlike male DW against women. So women as a group don't need to solve it.
Because women are busy working full-time, bringing up kids and doing the majority of the housework.

Because if men are unable to talk about problems when they are real, but other men are happy to cry abuse when it suits them, maybe that points to a problem with masculinity.

Because women are busy working full-time, bringing up kids and doing the majority of the housework.

What's that git to do with male Vs female teachers being sent out to stop a fight?

Why shouldn't female staff be sent out, if male staff are?

@wafflyversatile I’m not saying you did, but there’s a lot of myths and I thought the purpose of this thread was try and see what the facts were underlying the assumptions?

Plenty of posters on here have spoken about women who have claimed victimhood in order to further punish exes. and/or deny their children access to their fathers. so for example this, there are very few posters saying men are being lied to, compared to women like myself how are being told we are lying and abusers.

The overwhelming evidence points to men doing this far, far more than women in order to punish and win custody battles. It’s important we know this, not to shun men seeking help, but to have a grounded sense and fairly allocate resources.