What exactly is ‘family admin’ ?

[LuckySeventhWave]

I have a calendar on the fridge door. If there’s a parents evening, after school club or dentist appointment I write it on there.

It takes about 12 seconds.

What are mums doing that warrants ‘time set aside per week for family admin’?

I mostly call it "oh shit" as in "oh shit i forgot to do x".

@maidenover
Excellent post

Btw - do people have a problem with unequal division of mental load/family admin between 2 partners?

I mean if 1 person works high stress job, long hours and commute, do people think it is bad for the other person to take on all the little ‘rubbish’ tasks and take on all laundry, housework etc?

If yes, then why not give the person doing all the little tasks a pat on the back for all the hoovering etc? Yes - single parents manage all of it and work as well. But conversely some people pay to outsource significant chunks.

As PPs have said above - it is kinda like people looking v ‘busy’ at work - except in the workplace it can be rewarded and at home it’s usually overlooked. If you have anxiety things take longer because you try to avoid missing stuff.

There’s so much misogyny on this thread from certain posters. Could be summed up as

“ STFU. Women should be silent and grateful “

I'm about to do the 12 second job of phoning Sky to negotiate a new package. Let's see if I'm back soon

Tick tock Panda by my reckoning you've been gone 15 mins

I gave up for now when the on-hold person told me I still had a 20 minute wait!

Come on Panda...by my reckoning you could have organised the parent's evenings of everyone on this thread. Get With The Programme!

Just popped back onto thread to say thankyou to kind posters....a week of handing my notice in, preparing for ds's operation, dealing with dd vomiting every morning before school, trying to deal with school wanting to rush ds's annual review through, have 2 appointments (CAMHS and SALT) sort out an appointment with ds's gastroenterologist and arrange a meeting with ds's head teacher (and all the family admin/shit/mental load WhatEver that goes with the above....sorry I quite like home admin!)....really took it's toll on me, and I tipped that over into the thread.

Apologies for the list, and if it makes me come across as one of those dreadful drama llamas who can't just keep their head down and carry on without ever having a healthy moan about having a lot on, then so be it.

School have just emailed parent evening number 1 through (which means 2 more will be on their way!) and I have to call the hospital to update them on ds....should take a good 12 seconds for each job.

By the way op, if you think the phrase Mumupmanship©️ is so clever you need to stick a copyright on it, I wouldn't worry.

20 hours is a bit much unless lots of SN, however not everything takes 12 seconds booking an appointment and writing it down may only take a couple of minutes but actually going to it doesn't

Personally I consider family admin to be the organising paying and arranging of thestuff not doing it ie organising who is collecting DD from swimming is admin driving there is not, going on line to check best deal for car insurance admin, booking MOT admin taking car to garage not admin

most weeks

1. simple check of both diaries make sure someone available to take DD to her activities, as we are both self employed and out and about check who is going to be in when DD returns from school 5-10 minutes ( actually doing the taking and fetching from activities probably 2-3 hours)
2. simple check of bank balances brief discussion of anything big or unusual that needs purchasing or planning another 10 minutes
3. writing shopping list with meal plan in head 5-10 minutes doing the food shop about 1 hour

so writing planning bit about 30 minutes a week

Monthly
Checking + paying bills, checking bank and credit card statements 10-15 minutes max, checking level in oil tank ( so we don't run out of heating!)
back up important files 10-15 minutes really important for us as self employed and need them for tax returns etc

less frequent tasks ie 6 monthly or yearly
1 Insurance checking best deals for house and cars

1. check best deals on utilities

3, check savings etc make sure on best deals

1. tax returns
2. planning holidays
3. booking dentist / opticians / hearing tests / parents evenings
4. arranging MOT and car services

8 arranging / doing house maintenance ( not general cleaning)

1. organising birthdays / christmas

last week I spent two hours on phone dealing with a car insurance company that had been given my car registration number as the other car, it was 400 miles from where I live it turns out the number had been written down wrong as the type of car involved didn't match reg number this is unusual

a couple of years ago we were administering late MIL estate which as she had been a hoarder was an awful muddle it took me hours a week for several weeks to sort it but while it had to be done I agree it isn't standard family admin but having power of attorney for a relative in care would certainly take an hour or two a week liaising with various parties

I never use the phrase "family admin" and I've only ever seen it on MN. I have a fuckton of shit to deal with out of work because my DH is disabled, including a MH disability that affects his cognitive function so I do all the 'life crap' for both of us, plus I'm disabled and I also have elderly parents with slowly failing health so that is a LOT of hospital appointments alone to sort out. It is sometimes mentally exhausting, especially after a full day or week at work!

Don’t be silly Panda. You need to do it much quicker than 12 seconds. You only have 12 seconds a week to do EVERYTHING. And if you can’t do that you are a sad pathetic moaner if not a total failure as a human being.

With e it's a full time PA job, but I know with others it isn't.
Endless form filling, helping with social media, liaising with agents, managers, venues.
Then besides this there's all the school and household admin, I usually do about 8-12 hours per week, depending on what's on.
The household stuff is usually about a hour or two per week.
HTH

It’s just taken us nearly two hours to book a trip to the pantomime.

Whoever does things like this in 12 seconds is most definitely not married to my husband! Very long list of things he didn’t want including (I suspect) making a decision.

Sounds like he was trying to avoid going, to me!

Sounds like he was trying to avoid going, to me!

That was what I wondered but one of my many (many!) suggestions was that I took the kids on my own (or rather with a couple of friends). He was horrified!

Anyway - booked now. He will enjoy it whether he wants to or not!

@WhiskeyLullaby

Nah. I’d suggest that people who spend 20 hours on ‘family admin’ are the experts, not someone who spends 12 seconds besides which I’m highly uncompetitive - I cant even be bothered to do the KPI targets at work.

You’re missing the point though, it’s asking for the definition of family admin.

So for example this week I found I had been wrongly charged on a credit card. Spend 20 mins on hold to credit card company only to have them say I need to call Costco, when I do they say I n eed to call credit card company. Over an hour to sort.

Then we have to do our taxes so I have to get the info together (which takes a long time as we are both freelance)- then I have to call mortgage company to find out how much interest we paid because we oy get the statement once a year and it's the wrong time (we live abroad so different tax schedule)- another 30 mins on phone.

Then booking dentist, doctor, orthodontist, music lessons, sports etc for 3 kids and taking them to same. Meal planning, online shopping, form filling, taking car to service , filling out insurance claim for minor accident and keeping across it. Etc etc. It adds up

Family admin definition

Everything that needs doing that isn't directly paid work related.

Even if a couple you are a family

A single person would call everything that isn't paid work related life admin or personal admin

Buying clothes for work would need to be family or life admin because you don't get paid for doing it.

Fieldcraft admin is everything you need to do to live in the field on exercise. So digging a hole to shit in. Cleaning your rifle. Keeping feet dry and boots clean.

I use the same "catch all" approach to civilian life.

Admin. It's just a word. It has lots of different ways of applying it but the basic one is "the process or activity or running an organisation etc"

Family admin = the family is the organisation.

It really doesn't matter how people react to it or talk about it. Everyone reacts differently. Be more understanding and let them get on with it. Remember some adults still have difficulties with literacy and numeracy this will make it harder for them too.

Shit needs done = family admin

Oh and parenting is family admin.

Given that I'm on my way to the Engender AGM today it seems like this thread could do with seeing this

makingworkvisible.engender.org.uk

Or this - the value of "unpaid work"

www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/articles/womenshouldertheresponsibilityofunpaidwork/2016-11-10

A silly expression for some normal things that living in a house requires.

forallthesaints that's true about cleaning, laundry, decorating, cooking, shopping, gardening - are all the separate terms we use for these activities also "silly"? I don't really understand. Clearly women are seeing a need to have a label for work that otherwise appears invisible. Not sure why that's seen as silly, except for the obvious.

A silly expression for some normal things that living in a house requires

What expression would you give it as a “catch all”, without listing each aspect of it in a very tiresome and long-winded way? Some (lucky) people pay for others to do these tasks and give them an actual job title and a wage. Nanny, housekeeper, gardener, cleaner, PA. if these things were so easy to fit into FT working life without any stress, why don’t they do without? They could do it all in about 12 seconds then sit on their arse the rest of the time watching This Morning, according to some of you.

Family admin = 12 seconds for a woman and not worth whinging about

Family admin also = far too much to expect a man who works a man job to do because it's very complex

Spot in, @Settlersofcatan

Also this:

Clearly women are seeing a need to have a label for work that otherwise appears invisible