Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What exactly is ‘family admin’ ?

375 replies

LuckySeventhWave · 08/11/2019 22:48

I have a calendar on the fridge door. If there’s a parents evening, after school club or dentist appointment I write it on there.

It takes about 12 seconds.

What are mums doing that warrants ‘time set aside per week for family admin’?

OP posts:
Fridaynightfuntime · 08/11/2019 23:33

Organising costumes one of the umpteen themed days at school

Focyt · 08/11/2019 23:36

I spend 10 mins a year on family admin. I suspect it’s people who like to be ‘busy’ that spend all day on it.

Tutlefru · 08/11/2019 23:38

I don’t doubt there’s loads of stuff that needs dealing with, I know there is, it’s the wanky phrases that bug me.

Family admin being one of them.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Nicknacky · 08/11/2019 23:39

Some people like to make “family admin” sound like a full time job. It isn’t, it’s just normal life that every one has to do.

ConFusion360 · 08/11/2019 23:40

I've just moved house. Into a new build that absolutely nowhere can find online

Our house has been in the same spot for around 400 years. Curry's couldn't deliver a fridge because they couldn't find the house in their database. We had to collect the thing ourselves in the end because the computer said no.

imip · 08/11/2019 23:42

Surely it’s different depending on number of children, if you look after elderly parents etc? I have 4 dc, 2 with ASD. The number of school appts/health appts is just crazy. Form filling, emailing teachers with dd now in secondary. The list is never-ending. Oh, and I’m buying Christmas presents, organising birthday parties.

middlemuddle · 08/11/2019 23:42

Personally as a single mum my family admin involves budgets, meal plans, buying presents for parties, dentist apps, eye checks, online food shop, meter readings, Christmas presents, bday presents, shopping online for clothes/DIY bits etc. Loads of stuff really.

middlemuddle · 08/11/2019 23:42

Oh and my son's epilepsy appts!

scaryteacher · 08/11/2019 23:44

Organising an international move, from packing to storage, to hiring vans and driving stuff back (so booking vans, sorting insurance, booking freight fares on the ferry, sorting the storage, the accommodating needed; dealing with the removal company, cleaning the rental property abroad; dealing with the animals, catteries, pet passports, sorting travel arrangements for us all (different journeys as dh was away on business when we moved), dealing with removers this end; sorting out reimporting the cars, the utilities both ends, banking, insurance,...that's been my family admin for the last three months or so. I have yet to sort registering with a GP here and finding a dentist.

Bit more than 10 minutes really Focyt. I would prefer to be reading or stitching than having had to sort all that lot out.

PickAChew · 08/11/2019 23:44

Currently, for me, having the endless meetings and visits trying to work out wtf DS1 could be doing post-16. Then we have to get him to want to do it. Meantime, we need to keep him engaged with CAMHS and GP wants to see him for a review but he won't see them. It would be useful though given that he's almost 16 and we have PIP to apply for then and I need to have another go at securing the concessionary bus pass that he should be entitled to...

As for DS2....

WhiskeyLullaby · 08/11/2019 23:46

Like I said before it depends how much the other adult you live with shares the load. I know men that won't even check their bank account and expect their wives to do it, let them know if they're overdrawn,move money around,remind them to do ther invoices etc. Hell another friend's husband blames her if he sleeps through his alarm.Hmm

Also some periods of the year can be busier than others like when the kids go back to school or Christmas.

I don't spend a lot of time on this stuff and definitely not taking the load for OH's stuff. However I'm not so close minded or lacking in imagination to presume my experience is universal or go all sneery that some women might struggle or feel overwhelmed.

BestZebbie · 08/11/2019 23:47

I spent three hours today on essential errands - the bulk of the child free time

PickAChew · 08/11/2019 23:49

And sod the calendar on the fridge door - DS2 (autistic, even more than DS1 who is exhausting my mental capacity, currently) nicked it to add to his calendar hoard.

Me150267 · 08/11/2019 23:53

Over a year these things take seconds per day omg

dodobookends · 08/11/2019 23:53

The 'family admin' I had to plough through in the year dd did all her umpteen auditions for full-time dance training was a complete nightmare. Endless form-filling, emails and phone calls, juggling dates, meetings at her school organising time off for her (far from easy) and off work for me (slightly easier), booking hotels, train tickets and flights, making sure she had the right kit, ordering pointe shoes from Russia, taking her to dance classes 6 days a week at 3 different places miles apart, physios, performances, competitions and dance exams to fit in, not to mention persuading her (and finding the time) to revise for her GCSE's as well.

Yeah, it was a doddle Confused

BackforGood · 09/11/2019 00:00

Dentist - new app't is made on the same day that we attend the current app't ........ Except, in 6 months time, their timetables will have changed or they are attending a practice or clubb that wasn't on when you booked the original appt

Bills are direct debit so don't need much in the way of setting up - although every year I spend some hours making sure (at different times of year) I'm getting best deal on 2 x car insurance, 1x house insurance (I know others have life insurance and pet insurance and phone insurance and boiler insurance); on utilities; on broadband; on mobile phone deals; on bank account savings rates; on credit cards; on current accounts; etc

Forms are filled in as and when required, once every few months at the most and the majority don't take that long to do ..... I take it you don't have kids going off on residentials / school trips / cub camps etc then, as I used to get this joy4 or 5 times a year x 3 dc

Ds's app'ts with the paediatrician are generally sent by the hospital so we just have to ring and say yes, it's convenient or no, it's not and can we make it another day. We don't have many other health care things apart from ringing every few months for a repeat prescription YOur hospital must have more efficient admin system than my local hospitals then. I'm pleased for you. Genuninely.

The car is a lease car so we don't have much to organise with that apart from the tyres (they come to us) and the service and all that takes is a 5 min phone call........ well, I have MOT as well as 'things that crop up' like a puncture or some twat taking the wing mirror off when it is parked. So then it is a diary check to find who can manage without a car, when, before phoning the garage to book it in - that may then be followed by calls to other parents to ask for help with lifts if it is more than a day job without the car

I go through the dc's bookbags every day or read the updates on their app. It doesn't take much to send an envelope with money in or sign a note for whatever they want permission for....... if you have been to the cashpoint to get the cash out......and if you have envelopes in...... and if the dc has efficiently brought the letter home..... and if you can fit in rummaging through 3 x book bags whilst trying to get the evening meal on, whilst simultaneously getting them to find their swimming trunks / cub uniform / football boots / 'thing' they need for school next day / actually shutting the curtains in your house or going for a wee for yourself....

We don't meal plan much and the shopping list is generally the same every week so that doesn't take much time and it's not a difficult or strenuous job ordering it online......... no, not in itself, but it is the layers and lists of jobs, none of which take that long individually, but then they add up when you need to do several of them

Dh sorts his own stuff out All fine

We share the kids' stuff so it doesn't all fall onto me and childcare is probably the biggest headache, especially since they started school and we have to rely on a childminder ........ yes, but it is still family stuff that needs sorting, and you need to be clear who is fetching whom from where, and when if it is shared.

FungusTheToegyman · 09/11/2019 00:02

It's normal life stuff that everyone has to do - some people seem to make a big deal out of things like buying birthday cards, I don't understand how it is a big deal either.

AgnesGrundy · 09/11/2019 00:02

Ringing around for the MRI scan with the most immediate availability, and then cancelling the appointments made provisionally - around 2 hours

Actually taking child to MRI scan - 3 hours including travel (we'd have waited months for a local one)

Previous and post orthopaedic appointments - 4 hours total.

Orthodontic appointments - 3 hours per month

Driving to football / sport club and watching matches - 6 hours per month

Organising car pool with 2 other parents for 3x per week football - 5 minutes most days

Any kind of school communication from parents evening to notes to finding change to permission slips to maintaining calendar entries to reading letters - probably 30 minutes per week

Homework help - around 2 hours per week

Helping organise and transport to playdates - probably 4 hours per month.

That's per child, and I'm sure there's more.

Around 30 hours per child per month, 90 hours for 3 children as whilst they don't all have identical needs they all need similar amounts of time.

Buying stationery - 30 minutes per month minimum

Luckily I don't have uniform or school shoes to think of as that'd add time.

At least 20 hours per week if you have 3 children.

middlemuddle · 09/11/2019 00:03

I cant say my family admin takes a long time, but its part of the mental load.

LuckySeventhWave · 09/11/2019 00:04

@BackforGood

@LuckySeventhWave
How many dc do you have: 2 under 12
What hours do you and dh work ? Mine: varies His: full time

So basically phoning a contractor to get an appointment and clicking a website to order school photos or do a bit of leotard shopping? Everyone’s bills are usually direct debits, and ‘organising childcare’ is surely just booking them in or phoning your nanny?

Parents’ evening is an example. It’s not just writing it in the calendar
(it is, it takes 2 seconds)
it’s chasing the paperwork to make the appointment
(asking the school office for a copy of a letter)
ensuring DC has given the paperwork in
(Archie have you taken that letter in yet)

checking that one parent can actually go on the appointment date given
(other parent “you free that day?” “Yes dear/no dear”

OP posts:
AgnesGrundy · 09/11/2019 00:05

Meal planning is enormously helpful, but I often don't get around to it and everything takes longer. When we have a family meeting to meal plan it takes half an hour and is do useful.

Driving to the supermarket, shopping, and putting shopping away for a family of 5 takes at least 2 hours.

TooStressyTooMessy · 09/11/2019 00:05

Ahh yes the helping with homework. Hours of fun. This week DD has a science project. Given yesterday. Due in Monday. She’s primary age and will need help with it plus we have to send her in with materials on Monday.

The bloody class pet. Photos need taking, printing out and then the child needs help to write in the diary. Usually given on the most inconvenient weekend possible.

LuckySeventhWave · 09/11/2019 00:05

20 hours of ‘family admin’ a week? @AgnesGrundy you just be really disorganised

OP posts:
KristinaM · 09/11/2019 00:07

OP - I’d love to know how you check your diary and kids timetable, phone dentist, get appointment date, note that in the relevant places, contact school for time off and get permission, arraigned time off work for yourself, leave work, collect child from school, take child to dentist, return child to school and you return to work ALL IN 12 Seconds.

Please explain to me as I’ve been doing it wrong for years.

AgnesGrundy · 09/11/2019 00:08

LuckySeventhWave I'm including actually carrying out the tasks.

If your an admin in an office your job includes writing the letters, not just scheduling time to write them...