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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Haffdonga · 25/10/2019 19:01

Different person (but of a similar age).

Your friend is forming several letters completely differently. Look at the 'mid word' t in into (in the letter) vs the one in lots (in the card) . Fs are completely different.

Also look at the way she does her loops on y's and g's. Your friend's loops are quite large and hang under about 2 or 3 previous letters vs the ones in the letter which are much smaller and neater and finish only under the single letter itself.

I'm sure it's not the same person.

Furiosa · 25/10/2019 19:02

Something else to consider is the language used. Does it sound like your friend?

I have a friend who would use words like ''lying'' or ''unfair'', emotional words but another who would use ''misappropriate'' or ''deceptive''.

Don't know if that's helpful Sad

OatyGoaty · 25/10/2019 19:02

Someone at the leisure centre? Someone else holding a grudge.

OatyGoaty · 25/10/2019 19:02

?

MillicentMartha · 25/10/2019 19:07

The d and p s on the card are loopy and you can see the curl, but they are very precise on the letter. The word ‘hope’ looks quite different.

SalemsMumHasGotitGoingOn · 25/10/2019 19:08

Same person, 100%.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 25/10/2019 19:08

If I was going to write that sort of letter, I would make some effort to disguise my handwriting, so I don't think that comparing samples will give you a definite answer.
Do you feel like this is the sort of thing she might do? Is she annoyed at you for moving away, or has she lost out on a school place because of other people playing the system?

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 25/10/2019 19:09

Hmm... 50:50 maybe. It could be her, but a lot of people write like that and it's not identical.

Strange about the other detail she mentions but there could be another explanation you've not thought of?

What a weird letter to hand write. Does your friend normally hand write formal letters?

Ratbagcatbag · 25/10/2019 19:10

I don't think it's the same person. I write very very similar to that. There are differences if I rush or take my time, but the formation of the letters and where they join up always stay the same.

Haffdonga · 25/10/2019 19:10

And honestly would someone who has deliberately sabotaged your life plans really want you to be guardian to her dcs on her death? It doesn't ring true.

If your friend knew confidential info about you, the letter writer is much more likely to be someone your friend chatted to and let slip something or other about the kids clubs. Ask your friend if she recognises the writing. It might well be someone she knows.

BumbleBeee69 · 25/10/2019 19:12

OP.. go with your gut, you know this person,we do not.

If you believe it has all the hallmarks of her actions, including private information about you guys personal lives, then it was Her.

Trust your instincts, not strangers on an internet forum. Flowers

RosesAndLilies · 25/10/2019 19:13

I think they look different.

But as whoever wrote the letter knows some private things about your family I would show her the letter in case she has repeated anything to anyone not realising it may be used for malicious purposes

Josette77 · 25/10/2019 19:15

It looks my writing as well.

I would ask her? Is there a reason you suspect her? You said very few people know, but how few? Unless she's a brilliant actress, do you have other examples of her betraying you? Or other people?

OnTheEdgeOfTheNight · 25/10/2019 19:15

My own writing can change significantly, and if comparing a long letter to a short card, I'm not sure that anyone would think it was the same person. My writing in the card would be more stylish, the letter would be messier. I swap between print, cursive and italic.
I think the important thing here is the language used and the details included. If these sound like your friend, then don't dismiss it due to the writing not being an exact match.
Do you have anyone else you can ask - husband / partner or mum etc? Maybe things aren't going well for your friend and she's feeling jealous? Thankfully the school places worked out, but what a nasty thing to do.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 25/10/2019 19:21

The question is, who else could it be?

EarlGreyT · 25/10/2019 19:22

I don’t think it is the same person the F Is completely different (compare the f in unfair in the letter with the one in of on the card.

I wonder if the letter is written by someone whose first language isn’t English. Most native English speakers would say “it is A very corrupt and unfair system”, but the word a is missing from that sentence in the letter which in my experience is often the way people whose first language isn’t English write.

Walnutwhipster · 25/10/2019 19:22

Ts and ds are completely different and that's a really common style.

mankyfourthtoe · 25/10/2019 19:22

The t's are crossed low down in both.

WeAreStardustWeAreGolden · 25/10/2019 19:23

I'm not sure if they are the same handwriting but I suspect your friend is behind it in some way. As you say only she knows certain details. Maybe a member of her family with similar style handwriting who she has told?

mankyfourthtoe · 25/10/2019 19:23

Can you go round unannounced and put it down. If you're good friends you should be able to tell from her reaction.

Original poster
sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 19:24

Thanks all.

I have just printed the letter and compared now to two cards and whilst they're not identical my gut very sadly points towards her! Definitely not a random person but someone with very detailed knowledge especially about our length of tenancy, full address, details of our other DC.

I just can't think of a motive but that doesn't mean it's not her. Waiting for DH to come home and talk it out.

OP posts:
Isitnearlyweekend · 25/10/2019 19:28

What a strange thing for her to do. Plenty of people move into a catchment area for a particular school. My best friend has just done it.
I would speak to her and tell her you’ve got the letter. Also tell her that you’re going to report it to the Police as it’s an offence under malicious communications act. See how she reacts.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malicious_Communications_Act_1988

user1471462428 · 25/10/2019 19:33

Your gut is telling you it’s her. But is there any inkling as to why? My close friend has extremely strong views about going to your catchment school, do think she is secretly angry with you?

user1486131602 · 25/10/2019 19:33

Hey not invite her round, as usual, and leave the letter out in the open!
Get to discussing the situation ( not actually accusing) and see where that goes!

ApacheTomcat · 25/10/2019 19:34

"She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney"

Did she know that you had asked to see a copy of the letter? If so, did her own requests come soon after that?