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Original poster

WWYD - Feel so betrayed

437 replies

sausageandchips007 · 25/10/2019 17:17

Need some advice please.

We moved house and applied for a school place for our DC - due to circumstances we had to rent, though we ensured we met all the criteria and it was by no means a short term let. We are in this house for at least 2 years and ideally we are looking to buy once those 2 years are up or will just carry on renting where we are.

We came to know that someone wrote a letter to the school telling them that we had given false information and that we had no intention of staying in the area. The school did their investigations with us and found that we had complied with all the criteria etc.

We asked to see a copy of the letter under DPA 2018 and I have just received it. It was handwritten and matches very closely with my best friend. It also had content in it about things which only she knew. She has just asked us to be legal guardians for her 2 DC and her and her DH's power of attorney.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
slinkysaluki · 07/11/2019 15:55

Jesus with friends like that who needs enemies. Id bin her, you would never be able to trust her again.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 07/11/2019 15:56

Maybe I'm dull but I thought a moment of insanity would be telling the hairdresser to do what they want when you'd planned to get a bob. Not methodically gather info, write and post a malicious letter behind your BFs back. 😬

Iloveacurry · 07/11/2019 16:01

How did you leave it with her after she admitted it?

ELM8 · 07/11/2019 16:06

Wow, must be driven by some sort of jealousy? Agree she probably had something to do with previous person having a place withdrawn.

Mummyshark2018 · 07/11/2019 16:56

She's not much of a friend imo and must be harbouring some deep down jealousy or resentment for you. How did you leave the encounter with her?

Original poster
sausageandchips007 · 07/11/2019 17:31

So she came in from the gym, saw me, gave me a hug and then her husband told her to sit down. He gave her the letter and she said she knew who had written this but it wasn't her, it was someone from her DC's school. Her husband then cuts in and tells her we have had it analysed and it has come back as a match. Her face falls, she takes a deep breath and says yes it was her. Her husband was livid. She then says that she had a friend who was applying to the school and she was doing it on their behalf. Her DH demands to know who it is and she won't say. He doesn't believe that she did it on behalf of anyone and neither do I. She said it was a moment of insanity and she doesn't know why she did it. She didn't think of the consequences and she didn't think of the impact it would have on my DC. She said from the moment she sent it she hadn't thought about it until now when it's been put in front of her. She's ashamed of herself and feels disgusted when she reads that letter again.

I left saying I needed to take it all in as I was in shock, and told her DH I would speak to him in due course.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 07/11/2019 17:37

Wow.

I’m not sure how your friendship recovers from this

billy1966 · 07/11/2019 17:46

The issue now is quite simple, now that you have both proof and confirmation.

She tried to mess with your children's future.

You and your husband made a series of decisions that were in the best interests of your two children.

These are choices that take thought, time and organisation.

Whatever about trying to get over someone doing me wrong, I would never, ever forgive someone trying to harm my children.

The direct consequence of what she tried to do might have cost them your preferred school.

Beyond vicious and nasty.

There would be no going back.

I also would tell the other parent.

Obviously this is very painful for you.

💐

Techway · 07/11/2019 17:52

Op, wow, could she be a secret school admissions vigilante..thinking she is on some mission.

Otherwise she is a holding some bitterness/envy towards you and she must be very emotionally unhealthy. Envy is often the motivator for actions such as hers.

Do you know much about her childhood?

shalligoagain · 07/11/2019 17:55

I'm guessing it was motivated by jealousy? Is your child's school a better school than the one her child is in? Or, she may have wanted to scupper your plans because she felt life was going just a little too well for you.

Whatever the reason, I think you've lost a friend, but take consolation in the fact that she can't have been a genuine friend in the first place to do this.

RandomMess · 07/11/2019 18:00
Thanks

That is so shitty Sad

Gazelda · 07/11/2019 18:01

I think you have to leave her and her DH to resolve this between them now. He must be livid, confused, embarrassed and they've no doubt got lots to talk about.

At least you know in your own mind that you've not gone bonkers. Your instinct was correct. Put it behind you and know that you did nothing wrong.

She'll probably try to make contact at some point. Take your time before responding. Act with icy calm.

Don't slate her to mutual friends, tell them you disagreed on something and are giving each other space.

Frouby · 07/11/2019 18:10

Fucking hell OP. What a two faced, snidey bitch. I would be going nuclear.

APerkyPumpkin · 07/11/2019 18:11

Crikey. That's a shocker.

Always trust your gut.

pemberlyshades · 07/11/2019 18:16

I don't think they look the same tbh- they are both neat and similar but the of/if 's are completely different!

something2say · 07/11/2019 18:20

I'm so sorry to read tft. Wow how nasty people cane be sometimes. And she posted it and then didn't give it a second thought? And her first reaction was to lie and blame someone else, and only when proof is brought out did she admit it?

This is not a nice person. Clearly and demonstrably she poses you risk. I hope she feels dreadful.

You can't be friends anymore obvs. And it will surely damage your trust. I hope in time you find other close female friends who are who they say they are. I cannot imagine doing this. When I come across people who I think cheat at life, I just refuse to be friends with them.

RightEarlobeBreath · 07/11/2019 18:24

A “moment” of insanity my arse. She had to write it, put it in an envelope, stick a stamp on, and put in the postbox. Plenty of moments to realise you’re being an absolute twat and behaving not like a friend at all.

pemberlyshades · 07/11/2019 18:25

Just caught up- my bad!

BettysLeftTentacle · 07/11/2019 18:26

Jesus. That’s brutal OP, I’m so sorry. Please remember that behaviour such as this is usually born out of jealousy and if she was really disgusted with herself, it would have been eating her up every day since she sent it. She certainly wouldn’t have not thought about it Flowers

CodenameVillanelle · 07/11/2019 18:28

Oh my word how upsetting. Does she have a history of destructive or impulsive behaviour?

DiaryofWimpyMumm · 07/11/2019 18:36

I'm so sorry op but at least you know for sure now. I'm not sure how your friendship can move forward from this.

user1497718723 · 07/11/2019 18:38

How awful. She must be very jealous of you OP. Not a friend at all

JaneyJimplin · 07/11/2019 18:54
Shock
CoraPirbright · 07/11/2019 19:01

Really terribly shocked by this. I am so sorry, OP, you must be so upset - like the sands are shifting under your feet. Have you ever had any inkling that she is so vicious?

CanISpeakToYourManager · 07/11/2019 19:08

I agree with RightEarlobeBreath.

Not a 'moment of insanity'.