I'm going to die fat.

[MrsFattyBumBum]

I just can't control my eating.

Have had disordered eating for as long as I can remember. Never seen a doctor for it. Well general GP who just tells me to join Wright watchers etc...

I was a normal size at 20. After my first kid I went up to about 13 stone.

15 years later I'm now almost 16 stone.

I've lost 1.5 stone though a shake replacement diet but now I've just fell off the wagon.

This morning I've had.
3 kit kats
A curry pastie
4 jammy dodgers

Once I start I just CANNOT stop myself. Its like I try and fill this emptyness with food but it never works.

I can't do this anymore.

I always lose a stone or 2 and put it all back on.

I can't do it.

I binge. Vomit. Starve myself (600cals) or binge and don't purge gaining weight.

I never have a steady pattern

I've tried
Slimfast
Keto
VLCDs
Weight watchers
Slimming world

All of it.

Why am I like this :(

@MrsFattyBumBum please don't feel too discouraged. When we make a decision to make a change, naturally we just want to get straight into it. But even if you had been able to see the GP today, it wouldn't have been a magic fix. You're not going to be able to stop bingeing without some ongoing hard work, you may fall off the wagon so to speak a number of times before you feel like you've got it under control.

This is not something that a new diet is going to fix either. You need to have some ongoing and possibly long term counselling to get to the underlying problems. Usually people binge because they feel unable to deal with certain emotions or situations. You need to figure out what you're trying to avoid and learn new ways to deal with it. If you start trying to stick to some sort of meal plan without dealing with the emotional side of things, your progress will be limited. I promise you, it's really worth the hard work. Keep trying to get the help you need.

Best of luck.

There's an injectable drug called Saxenda that some doctors are willing to prescribe. I tried it for about six months and I lost all my post pregnancy weight. It's expensive though, and you have to be able to inject yourself subcutaneously. It's easy to do unless you're squeamish

Jesus.

@Trewser You do realise that obesity is a disease? I was where the OP was; diet after diet failed, I was severely depressed and my physical health was at risk. It was Saxenda or a gastric bypass. If you haven't been in this situation, kindly shut your judgmental mouth.

You know you can stick to a diet for a certain amount of time and you have made food diaries but have you ever logged the dates you start and then fall off the diet.

I was reading an article about weight loss and the correlation between falling off a diet and the phases of the moon

Or is there another pattern.

Could you write an actual diary alongside your food diary and compare the 2 to see if there are any triggers.

Agree it makes no sense to buy biscuits because you can't get a drs appointment it is like you are punishing the doctors surgery
Saying See this is what you made me do.

There was a programme about weight loss a few years ago where they divided a group of people up into people who ate and couldn't stop, another group off the top of my head I can't remember and emotional eaters

There were different diets which you followed but I do remember the emotional eaters they said needed therapy along side the diet.
I am sure it is on YouTube or it must be somewhere you can view it.

My only way of losing weight is the Joe Cross method.

Lost 1.5 stone and got used to the not eating food but then had to go out for dinner on a special occasion and couldn't get back to not eating.
Then put it all back on.

I lose the same 7lbs each month.

Don’t feel you have let anyone down.

I think someone up the thread posted about WHY.

So maybe work out why you bought the biscuits.

You were disappointed. Angry? Frustrated? So you comforted yourself with biscuits? Or punished yourself? Seems to me you punished yourself. You made the effort to be ready to go to the doctor. Had a bath. Got dressed. Psyched yourself up to talk to th doctor. And then you couldn’t get an appointment. So you feel angry and disappointed. And you feel you are not worth an appointment and you felt silly. So you punished yourself.

I hear you op. You have my absolute sympathies.

When you get to this stage, it’s not about knowing about healthy eating, dieting, diet pills, hypnosis or gastric bands. It’s binge eating disorder.

After 20+ years of binge eating, I’m 3 sessions into counselling with a specialist CBT counsellor. It’s been an absolute revelation to me that I’m not just greedy, uneducated and lacking in will power. Please ditch the diets and pills and get yourself referred for CBT.

In my area, we can self refer (without seeing a gp) for talking therapy. When they did a phone assessment with me, I talked about the eating as my way of coping and they suggested that they refer me on to our area’s Eating Disorders service.

For the first time ever, I feel hopeful that I might beat this one day.

I’m reading The Binge Code and it’s giving me a good insight into why I binge eat and the power it has. Also why diets don’t work.

@MrsFattyBumBum I could’ve written your OP. I’m now at the heaviest I’ve ever been (over 16 stone). I’m disgusted with myself. I’ve always had a poor relationship with food but it’s gotten worse and raising children, two of which have disabilities has meant I’ve turned to food for comfort. It’s not something I get out the house like alcohol is. I can binge on anything. It doesn’t have to be sweet. Both my children have autism and adhd and I wonder if I also have adhd as there’s a link between adhd and binge eating. I also like the sensory side of eating. The release of dopamine I get from eating. It’s a hugely hard thing to control. I feel disgusting and miserable. I don’t go out because of my weight because I feel so embarrassed. I don’t have the answer but I wanted to let you know you’re not alone.