Living life according to a soap opera

[jennymanara]

If you were going to live your life according to how people live in soap operas, what would you do differently?

If I had a small problem I would never talk to DP about it e.g. small debt. Instead I would try and hide the problem and end up in a far bigger mess.

If the kids annoyed me I would send them to their bedroom. I would next see them 9 months later when they would have grown and become less annoying.

If I wanted anyone to babysit I would go to the cafe or pub and easily find someone to babysit on the spot, for the rest of the day.

If I was unemployed, I would spend the day wandering around the shops and pub right outside my house, and by the end of the day I would have a job.

I would spend my days slapping people around the face with no explanation.

I might mix it up now and again by throwing a drink in their face instead though.

I would only have a relationship with someone that lived in my street,square smsll.village etc , and my partner will.have also have had a relationship with several.of our neighbours / good friends as have I ,if I have a baby they will of course be born at Xmas but not in a hospital,they will be delivered by my worst enemy in a,taxi, shop ,pub etc as there will not be enough time to get to the hospital ,as the navy will be born in 10 minutes flat from the first contraction.

As the baby* I tried to change it several times!

This thread is hilarious! 🤣

LOL @Bobismyfriend yy and every now and then yell 'GERROURAMAHPUB' at someone, anyone, even if I didn't have a pub.

I would regularly sit down for meals, be unable to manage more than two forkfuls before having to hurry off somewhere unspecified, abandoning a full plate, without giving any explanation or receiving any reprimand from the cook, other than a slight tut.

I would have my mortal enemies phone number in my contacts and on Fb .

My child would grow new heads regularly yet nobody would notice.

@igotdemons lol I guess it's standard but this one is really bugging me for some reason. The shorter term viewers wouldn't notice but what about people who have been watching for 35 years?! It's almost like they don't care!

My kids would be used to never having any days out unless the local pub or community centre are having a family fun day.

I would be able to do my food shopping from the corner/village shop well when im not eating out every day

I would have arguments where both I and the person I'm arguing with would face the same way.

I would never make an appointment to get my hair done just walk into the salon and be welcomed.

I would never speak up to clear up a misunderstanding that would take 2 minutes to clear up, but would let said misunderstanding drag on for weeks

... and when I was in the salon I wouldn't expect to get an actual haircut - just for the hairdresser to tap my hair for a bit and then have an argument with someone before disappearing to save her stepson's friend's brother from being held hostage in a pub.

I would live in a tardis house with 2 dozen of my extended family and a random

Hey that random is just like faaaammmilllyyy

True Jenny

I'd have moved into a houseshare at Number 30 with Karl Kennedy by now

I would never ever go to the loo.

I'd buy all my clothes from the local market stall and never order anything online.

I would recover from surgery quickly, even if I had open heart surgery. I would get help for my mental health problems instantly and recover with an issue.

I would never, ever meet someone with the same name as me, even if my name was something like Sarah or John (Unless they were a family member and I was named after them).

I’d go away for a couple of years and come back with a different head.

My children would all.go.to.the same primary and secondary school.as every other child in the street, square ,small village , there is no choice of church schools etc .