I am way too old for show and fucking tell!

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

So, having started a new job last month, I have to go to the regional offices next week, for a two day induction.
Apparently I have to "bring along a personal item that is important to me, to share with the group" REALLY?
What should I take? Bottle of gin? Tena Lady? My knitting? Will I have to do a "presentation" type thing do you think?

You could take a set of knives and show off your knife throwing hobby.

some really, really bad Fifty Shades fanfic. Insist on reading it out.

You could go in wearing your wedding dress. With a slideshow and projector.

@Redshoeblueshoe THAT is a brilliant suggestion!!!
Creased.

we had to write a note with our ‘secret’ on it that we’d never shared, then it was up to the note receiver to tell all the staff.
Just why?? I literally can’t get my head around what this kind of crap is in aid of.

Even your favourite Disney film. Who gives a shit? Why would grown adults have to stand in a circle like 4 year old’s and share this nonsense?

You could take a set of knives and show off your knife throwing hobby

If you do that you have to chuckle, "Oh I'm just a beginner" before you start.

Love love love the gimp idea.

At the beginning of the school year, every year, my dd's school/class would have the meet the teacher night. Every year the teacher would ask every parent to go round the room, introduce themselves, tell everyone a bit about themselves and what they were hoping to get out of the school year.
After a few years I started getting up when the teacher would begin the ritual and walk out the room. I'd come back when the informative part of the evening had started. I could give two shits what 29 other parents want out of the school year for their 6 year olds.

What if the secret is that you slept with the boss?

That's ridiculous.

However if I had to take in a personal item which meant a lot to me it would be a few nuggets of my horses poo.

Nice green shiny healthy perfectly formed poo, break it open to see all the nice grass. This massive dump that fertilises your veggies

Hopefully I wouldn't be invited to show and tell again

You could take your favourite DVD and play the whole film. Pointing out all the best bits all the way through.

please come back and let us know what the others brought

Grandma's ashes... might as well share the embarrassment x this type of ice breaker is the refuge of crap trainers .... wait until they ask you to introduce the person on your right....

Maybe the best introduction to "you" is to fail against it and to explain why in reasonable terms ... it might be a test?

Do we work together? We do this kind of crap. For our Christmas do, we're doing a talent show. Why. Just why!

... Xmas show? I guess because not enough of you say"no" ... it's really crap isn't it. You're paid to work not be the entertainment. Horrid situation.

Vibrator?

OMG, this is so cringy!

Why do management people insist on this stuff? Surely they must realise it makes a lot of people uncomfortable all this 'sharing' bollocks?!

I very much doubt if these activities make you do your job better.

I still haven't decided what to take. DD refused point blank to let me take Sydney Tuna, no4 son won't let me take the cat's ashes, I can't bake, sex toys have health and safety ishoos, so I am at a loss...
I think I'll just go with one of my tattoos.
Will report back tomorrow after the event.

Knitting, cross stitch, jigsaw

Bag of pombears?

It would be empty by the time I got there Empress, it's over an hour commute.

An escort take a male escort or female

sex toys have health and safety ishoos

Surely it would be more of an infection control issue? 🤔

Good luck Pom

I think you can never go wrong with an interpretive dance