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Original poster

I am way too old for show and fucking tell!

190 replies

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 07/09/2019 15:50

So, having started a new job last month, I have to go to the regional offices next week, for a two day induction.
Apparently I have to "bring along a personal item that is important to me, to share with the group" REALLY?
What should I take? Bottle of gin? Tena Lady? My knitting? Will I have to do a "presentation" type thing do you think?

OP posts:
titchy · 07/09/2019 16:47

Or your phone bookmarked to this thread...

Nonnymum · 07/09/2019 16:47

20maras2Me too! I really don't see why anyone should have to share anything about themselves to people you just happen to work with. Last time I had to do something similar (we had to take in a photo that was memorable to us) I just used a photo on my phone of somewhere I had visited on holiday.

pinksparkleunicorns · 07/09/2019 16:48

A picture of your partners cock

ElizaDee · 07/09/2019 16:48

Can HR people on here explain what all this bollox is actually in aid of or what it achieves? except to piss everyone off

KUGA · 07/09/2019 16:48

Take a Jamie Oliver cook book.
The one that states it only takes 30 mins to cook.

PigletJohn · 07/09/2019 16:49

A bag containing the severed head of the last manager who was such a twat.

growinganotherhead · 07/09/2019 16:50

Your passport. You can then talk about your love of travel, best holiday, amazing city/sight/food/hotel, or just how much you value the freedom it brings. Sorted.

SunshineAngel · 07/09/2019 16:50

I hate things like this. If it was me, I would do that thing where you pretend to look for it in your pocket and then bring the middle finger out haha.

Obviously I wouldn't really.

Take a photo of your kids or something :).

UnimpressorOfCocks · 07/09/2019 16:50

Home anal irrigation kit?

EskewedBeef · 07/09/2019 16:51

The only reason they do this nonsense is because it's accepted. The 'team building' I was on last week was with people I will never work with or see again! And yes, we had to make a tall structure with limited materials - so, so original Hmm

Blahblahblahnanana · 07/09/2019 16:51

A picture of your partners cock 😳 😂😂😂😂

JemSynergy · 07/09/2019 16:51

my anal bleaching kit.

Nonnymum · 07/09/2019 16:51

If you like reading and have. A kindle you could take that and talk about how important reading is to you to wind down. Or if you're in a gym your membership card and say how important keeping healthy is. Or something similar that's not too personal.

6demandingchildren · 07/09/2019 16:51

I would take a bank statement as thats the reason why you are taking the job

EskewedBeef · 07/09/2019 16:52

I hate things like this. If it was me, I would do that thing where you pretend to look for it in your pocket and then bring the middle finger out haha.

Grin Perfect! I'm having that one.

LoveGrowsWhere · 07/09/2019 16:54

Brilliant responses. Yes to the labrador!

junglecrowd · 07/09/2019 16:56

A mumsnet logo

yellowallpaper · 07/09/2019 16:56

That reminds me of a corporate bonding session at NHSDirects induction. We all had to stand in a circle and toss a beanbag to each other and talk about something personal. I and the other nurses had a seriously WTF face.

It goes with blue sky thinking and thinking outside the box crap.

nonetcurtains · 07/09/2019 16:57

A sleep mask and earplugs. Put them on and sit there in silence ignoring everyone, for at least one minute.

junglecrowd · 07/09/2019 16:58

Or something related to your new job Smile

nonetcurtains · 07/09/2019 16:59

Or a copy of the GDPR principles and explain that you really can't tell them anything.

RedDogsBeg · 07/09/2019 17:00

"bring along a personal item that is important to me, to share with the group" REALLY?

Why do the people who run these things think they have a right to know and to force others to share details of a personal item of great importance to them? Why do they think someone wants to share this information with complete strangers or work colleagues?

I would either refuse or take something really stupid or macabre which would so obviously not have any great personal importance to me.

S1naidSucks · 07/09/2019 17:02

Take a scarf with the suffrage colours and give a long talk on how much it means to you, then talk about women’s rights and how they had to fight for female toilets as they were unable to use the public mixed sex loos because of the risk of attacks from males. Extol the virtues and importance of female only spaces. If you get interrupted by the NAMALT brigade, just explain that this is ‘your’ time and you prefer not to be talked over. You’ll make some secret grown up feminist friends and piss off the ‘woke’ workmates. It’s a 2 for 1. 😁

8by8 · 07/09/2019 17:03

We did this and it was every bit of horrific as you’d expect.

Good suggestion upthread to take a few items and then pick whichever seems most appropriate once you’re there, one person assumed ours was a joke thing whereas everybody else had brought really serious stuff and they looked a bit silly.

longtimelurkerhelen · 07/09/2019 17:04

It's got to be a Bible and go in singing "Now hear tha word of tha LORD" at the top of your voice. Grin

Bonus points if you also dance.