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Original poster

I am way too old for show and fucking tell!

190 replies

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 07/09/2019 15:50

So, having started a new job last month, I have to go to the regional offices next week, for a two day induction.
Apparently I have to "bring along a personal item that is important to me, to share with the group" REALLY?
What should I take? Bottle of gin? Tena Lady? My knitting? Will I have to do a "presentation" type thing do you think?

OP posts:
Ated · 07/09/2019 17:04

Just say that you were going to bring a picture of your lover, but as he works here, I don't think he'd be happy about it. All the men will be scrutinised and considered.

Baguetteaboutit · 07/09/2019 17:04

I would bring a tin of ashes, and make up some tragic tale of a dead relative.
I would make it so sad that I would not be content until someone was actually crying.

Then drop the tin, flinging dust in to the air. Cry so hard you have to go for a long coffee for the rest of the afternoon.

itsaboojum · 07/09/2019 17:05

As I still have my first ever pay packet envelope I’d take that. It’s special to me because it marks a lost era when employers still had some sense and didn’t act like d-heads.

SpockPaperScissorsLizardRock · 07/09/2019 17:05

I'd take your OFRS!

june2007 · 07/09/2019 17:06

It's just a way to break the ice, perhaps look at communication skills, build confidence. I went on a course where we old had to say what our favourite Disney film was, no biggy.

Plasebeafleabite · 07/09/2019 17:06

Earpods. So fucking expensive mine never leave my ears

Take them out for show and tell then put them back in again

CorBlimeyGovenor · 07/09/2019 17:06

A large emotional support pig!!

danmthatonestakentryanotheer · 07/09/2019 17:07

Take a packet of biscuits, hand them around and tell them that's the only thing you're going to be sharing.

WilburIsSomePig · 07/09/2019 17:08

I hate shit like this. It's just embarrassing.

MrsFogi · 07/09/2019 17:09

I love S1naidSucks' idea - I'd whip out a bunch Fair Play for Women postcards and explain how you leave a trail of these in your wake because you are so passionate about standing up to the erosion of women's rights. Always make the most of having a captive audience Grin.

S1naidSucks · 07/09/2019 17:11

We had one of those shit team building day always and we had to write a note with our ‘secret’ on it that we’d never shared, then it was up to the note receiver to tell all the staff, @ 60. We then had to ‘trust’ them all to support us (yeah, I’m sure the sexist pricks I worked with would be really supportive of my secrets) when we then elaborated on the secret. To everyone’s shock I said I’d become a grandmother (I didn’t have children). I went on to say that my wee lassy had given birth to twins and although I don’t like to share, I just couldn’t keep it to myself. The jaws were on the floor as I’d worked with them for years. I finished by saying I knew they would all understand and that although my wee cat Lisa was always going to my baby girl, I just adored her kittens. There was that burst of laughter from the staff and furious look from the moderator. She barely acknowledged me for the rest of the day. Win win. My boss told me that she complained that it was inappropriate, but he told her that she had said we weren’t supposed to judge other people on their secrets.

EskewedBeef · 07/09/2019 17:13

I went on a course where we old had to say what our favourite Disney film was, no biggy.

That's a bit different. There are finite answers, and nobody is going to misjudge it or feel pressured to come up with something imaginative.

supersop60 · 07/09/2019 17:13

Take this thread and read it out loud (might need some editing)
A meditation soundtrack - and make everyone sit quietly with their eyes closed.
Biscuits/cake (as a pp said)
An overweight penguin - it will break the ice.

agirlcalledBede · 07/09/2019 17:16

The OFRS, absolutely!

justasking111 · 07/09/2019 17:19

My dog, he is a real ice breaker Grin

MouseInATelescope · 07/09/2019 17:19

Ugh the RELIEF we felt when we thought this stopped when school ended!.... show & tell? really?....

I'd bring a dartboard with a pictures of May and Trump and all the Kardashians on it. Oh and the Facebook symbol I flipping hate Facebook.

Didactylos · 07/09/2019 17:35

Ive only had this once
Disarticulated the arm off my old med school skeleton and spoke about anatomy learning, with very serious and tedious detail on the bones of the wrist
Apparently they havent done the icebreaker since

Rachelover40 · 07/09/2019 17:37

Your handbag.

Perunatop · 07/09/2019 17:39

If you have one take a vaguely old fashioned vase or ornament and say your GM gave it you (obviously does not have to be true). I gave up being honest in such 'games' a very long time ago.

TitsInAbsentia · 07/09/2019 17:40

Tesco Clubcard....I collect points buying wine...I spend points on wine....

Seriously though if they are making you do this as part of induction you'll need to buckle up or make excuses for every away day they ever plan!

bluebeck · 07/09/2019 17:43

I absolutely love this sort of thing Blush but I am a dreadful show off.

Take a tea bag.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 07/09/2019 17:44

I was also going to suggest earplugs. Or headphones.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 07/09/2019 17:46

Or a really really amateurish painting of a cat and then claim that you painted it. Or a pretend urn of ashes.

TheMustressMhor · 07/09/2019 17:48

Take your Pointless Trophy and tell them how you won it.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 07/09/2019 17:49

I know. I know! A mirror. For self reflection! You can hold it up to each of them! I pinched the idea from Meghan Markle's dreadful vogue front cover!!