I am way too old for show and fucking tell!

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

So, having started a new job last month, I have to go to the regional offices next week, for a two day induction.
Apparently I have to "bring along a personal item that is important to me, to share with the group" REALLY?
What should I take? Bottle of gin? Tena Lady? My knitting? Will I have to do a "presentation" type thing do you think?

Pop down to your local jehovah witness stand and borrow a pile of watchtower leaflets
Hand them out to your colleagues and give them a looong lecture about how it’s the end of the world

Making notes as I have an induction day next week and there will definitely be icebreakers

The last time I had to do this was the day after we got my 3 year olds autism diagnosis (which came as a shock because he is high functioning).
Anyway it ended up with me in tears before I even spoke and leaving to go home at 9.30 in the morning. All the staff from the other offices thought I was crazy and the HR manager thought I had gone home with a hangover as there had been a team building activity on the night before

Bondage suit?

A bag containing the severed head of the last manager who was such a twat

PigletJohn wins the thread ...

A box of 200 hundred duty free ciggs ! or a kiss me quick hat from Blackpool.

A bag containing the severed head of the last manager who was such a twat.

I’m with Piglet!

Jesus thus stuff was crap in the 90’s and one reason I work for myself, by myself!

But as you’re wanting to keep your job I don’t think tellungbthem to shove it up theurvsrse sideways will do you much good, so I’d go with the previous advice if taking a few different things and choosing the best option when you’re there, but only ‘fake or generic ’ stuff, nothing that’s genuinely personal & important to you - or shies you have ‘A life’ outside if the office - god forbid!

Please update us!

If you can bake maybe do some cupcakes, you can share them with the others and just talk some bullshit about baking being a hobby/something you enjoy/ a way to de-stress blah blah blah

Your 'Jim'll Fix it' Medal! Talk about how excited you were when he fixed it for you, before trailing off hesitantly.

@Heatherjayne1972

Don't bother just take your shoes/housekeys whatever u normally take out with you and make something up what a load of old tosh

Take you're dog, if you have one.

*your, fucking autocorrect!

Has nobody ever stood up at one of these team building things and said, "This is ridiculous, I'm off to the pub"?

A photo of you in your own adventure story

Your contract?

Anything relating to a hobby would be fine I’m sure.

Some absolutely brilliant ideas here, but I vote for S1naidSucks's one.

I hate these things with a vengeance, but S1naidSucks gives it a clever twist, almost wish I was going to one now myself.

Take your packed lunch and explain how it helps to get you through the day.

Last time I did one of these a woman had a purple pen in her bag.

She said it was important to her as she could keep track of her notes on documents as no-one else used purple. It meant people knew who to speak to as her writing was instantly recognisable. No-one else could steal it because it was purple and only she uses purple. If her kids were playing up it amused them to draw or write in purple. Then she added "and if I get an icebreaker thing sprung on me it comes in handy" in a tone that made everyone chuckle.

Please please take your tena lady. And then video it and post on here! Lol!!!!!

A photo of the Family Tuna.
Unless you’re a different PomBear of course.

Bets on how many people in your group use their mobiles (or handbags)...I'm thinking at least 3?!
No self respecting adult is going to be up for this.

@EskewedBeef are you Ferris Bueller? Please say you are

Take baked goods, say you enjoy baking, and you can actually share it with the group too