One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

[DoggerDidIt]

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

I wouldn't say anything else. Shes managed to make herself look a dick in front of all the other parents.

I send my 3 year old to breakfast club before nursery starts, she loves it! Not all children are clingy and need pandering to. Most people need to work and don’t have the luxury of time in the morning besides. She’s a dick.

Tonnerre
Yes that’s a great answer 👍

I’m a single mum. In response to ‘I just couldn’t do it’ I have before adopted a patronising tone and replied ‘I’m sure you could, don’t worry! It’s super empowering when you realise what you’re capable of on your own!’

Just ignore her. Don’t leave the group- who knows when you might need them or they might need you. There are always knobbers. At least she has identified herself early!

Your mistake was to comment on a situation that didn’t effect you and then boast that it wouldn’t effect you. The less you involve these parents in your life the better. Brief chats, smile nod your head and gradually by the end of the year you might find a like minded parent who you have an occasional coffee with or chat for a bit longer to.

Don’t respond.

I'd have given her a taste of her own attitude and asked if she was getting help for her separation anxiety and I hoped it wouldn't affect her poor child. But then I can't help myself!

Well she takes the cake for obtrusiveness doesn't she?! Breakfast club is hardly cruel and to question a person dressed for work shows her to be an ignoramus!

She's dug herself into a bit of a hole there, hasn't she!

I don't think she should have commented anyway, but of all the reasons to give for not using breakfast club they were not good ones so that hasn't helped her case.

Does she define herself by her Mothering role? She gets her self esteem through her performance parenting. The DC going to school takes away some of her role.

She’ll probably join the PTA so she can be having little chats with the Head Teacher.

Very simple. Just state that:

in that case, as it’s so bad for the children, I’m going to stop working and rely on benefits. That way, all the tax from the other working mums in the group will stop my DD having to go to that awful breakfast club, and they’ll be even less money in that national pot to put towards the education of all our children. But hey, at least she’ll be able to skip from the playground to school with her friends.

Don’t take it personally OP. Some people have no clue of others reality. Sure, I would love any child of mine to never have to use wrap around or such, but the reality? Unless I dump my partner for a richer one that isn’t gonna happen!

What a bitch.
She's trying to make herself feel more superior but putting you down and that's not ok.
Your a strong female role model for your DD's while supporting your family and that's not something that she should put you down for.

@pogmella that is excellent
OP you did good
I think I would have to be all headtilty about insta-mums evident anxiety about leaving her children, just for badness, but might save it for another occasion.

Don't justify it op. Don't explain it. And don't feed it. She's looking for drama,

Just either ignore or send a smiley face and a kiss and leave it there. Anything else she's going to love.

I would just say "I'm a single mother with a job so I don't have a choice".

Closes it down without being rude and doesn't commit to any ideology about it.

Don't worry OP like people have said everyone else on that thread is now thinking 'knob'.

My son loves after school club. He gets to play with all the big children. Sometimes they allow him in goal.

I'm gutted he no longer goes to before school club I have to join in with the general riff raff parking in a morning.

She will totally use this as a blog post! Please follow her and share when she does !

Am so glad Watts app didn’t exist when my lot were at primary school!! All this silly woman has achieved is that everyone in the group already have her card marked!! I bet she joins the PTA by the end of next week and will be running it by the end of the year !! Also as soon as her child isn’t on the most advanced reading book for their age she will be rushing the child to a private tutor....another stranger!!

Yes i am waiting for your appearance in blog...

At least everyone knows the crazy lady to avoid.

My EX mil once wrote and article on Contact centres and how awful they were .. surely they weren't all drug taking abusive parents.. She knew about contact centres because her drug taking, abusive DS had contact with his son their.

Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. Networking with other parents can be invaluable. Lift shares make your life immeasurably better. She looks like a prat now. Say nothing but don’t huff off.

She’s probably feeling the need to justify her SAHM lifestyle to herself - plenty of people are equally judgemental about the decision to rely on a husband to be a family sole provider etc.

Just feel sorry for her and it will be easy not to rise to these sort of comments.

Excellent reply 🌷

Were you wearing a tiara the other day?

Stupid cow. - but she’s only showing herself up so let her crack on with it. Either a great reply like yours or blank her. People like her HATE being ignored.

Your DD probably will love breakfast club - what’s not to love about a wide choice of food and friends to play with before school!?
But even if she doesn’t, it’s just life isnt it, it’s not going to hurt her and it’s her ‘normal’ If DD1 goes, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Blogger mummies that only blog the ‘perfect life’ shit are lying and as dull as fuck

Look, she's a dick and has done nothing but embarrass herself in front of everyone, but all this could have been easily avoided by not engaging with her, no? There was really no need to share that you wouldn't need to worry about parking unless someone had asked you a direct question, and when she did come out with that bullshit in response the smart thing to do would just have been to ignore it and not engage. These groups are for the exchange of useful information - ignore anything else and it'll peter out.

My sons would bloody loved to have brekkie club every single day. She's a dick. Performance parenting is part of WhatsApp groups I've found!

What a knob. Plus condescending, self righteous and judgemental 🙄. I can see why were struggling not to reply. Loving your actual reply by the way