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Original poster

One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

407 replies

DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:40

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message Angry

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers Hmm and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

OP posts:
colourlessgreenidea · 09/09/2019 12:08

Easy. Ignore. Don’t engage. Talk to people you like. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

It does seem easy enough, doesn’t it? I can never understand why so many people throw themselves headfirst into drama them complain about all the drama in their lives. Hmm

People can only wind you up if you allow yourself to be wound up by engaging with them. Just get on with your own life. Be pleasant with those who are pleasant; give the benefit of the doubt to anyone who seems like an arse at first meet, as they may have had one of those ‘foot in mouth’ moments that we’ve all had; if it turns out they are an arse after all, don’t rent any brain-space to them.

It’s not hard. Confused

springydaff · 09/09/2019 12:45

Hang on though : being royally roasted and shamed by an insufferable know-all on a public forum of one week standing.... is a challenge. Maybe when you're longer in the tooth with all the playground nonsense you might be able to be more sanguine. But for now it's a shock and takes some getting used to.

Give over folks with your "I accept everyone as they are/I don't invite drama" superiority. It's a challenge to come up against someone like this in this context - bully for you if you've never experienced the likes, most of us have.

BertrandRussell · 09/09/2019 12:54

“being royally roasted and shamed by an insufferable know-all on a public forum of one week standing.... is a challenge”

Sorry- I must have missed where this happened.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
sonjadog · 09/09/2019 12:54

I think, to be fair, it does help being older and more experienced with these situations. But it is the way to deal with them and it is worth cultivating a "don´t give a shit" attitude when you can. I think the turning point for me with this stuff was when I consciously stopped participating in any gossip or discussion of other people´s personalities or choices. Even if you aren't being mean, such conversations fuel interest and involvement. If you aren't talking about them, the fuel is gone.

Parker231 · 09/09/2019 12:56

Parliament will be suspended today for five weeks despite the ongoing crisis surrounding Brexit, Boris Johnson's spokesman has announced.

In a historical ceremony known as "prorogation" to take place once Commons business is concluded on Monday evening, MPs will be summoned to the House of Lords to hear a message from the Queen halting business in both houses until 14 October.

Parker231 · 09/09/2019 12:57

Sorry wrong topic

colourlessgreenidea · 09/09/2019 13:16

being royally roasted and shamed by an insufferable know-all on a public forum of one week standing.... is a challenge. Maybe when you're longer in the tooth with all the playground nonsense you might be able to be more sanguine.

She wasn’t ‘royally roasted and shamed’ - one person made a dickish comment which was ignored by pretty much everyone, other than one person who contacted the OP to wonder what the dickish-comment-maker’s problem was.

The entire group was then invited to a pub quiz, and the OP is seemingly happy to go along to that, so I can’t see why it’s necessary to be a wizened school-yard veteran to see how an escalation of drama can very easily be avoided in this situation.

BertrandRussell · 09/09/2019 13:59

And the fact that exchange in the OP is being described as”royally roasted and shamed” is yet more evidence that the drama comes from the bystanders, not the principles!

BertrandRussell · 09/09/2019 13:59

*principals

BananaPlant · 09/09/2019 14:30

Of course she can't use breakfast club, how would she take photos of her kids eating their cornflakes

Actually I think this would have been the perfect reply! Grin

Enjoy your night out OP.

Funguy · 09/09/2019 15:46

I think I would just ignore her. She's an entitled beatch.

springydaff · 09/09/2019 16:12

After the original dickish comment -

She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it.. etc etc

She used op as a platform to 'roast and shame' op's parenting choices.

It would take a fucking saint to not be seriously challenged by that in front of a brand new audience. Plus op's current parenting choices have been forced on her.

My approach was to support op not make out it was no big deal. It was a big deal, the woman is an insufferable dick and this is unlikely to be a one-off.

I'm sure op will get over it, probably already has. Go you op x

marvellousnightforamooncup · 09/09/2019 16:13

The best thing to do is just shrug stuff like this off, forget it. It really is no skin off your nose. You'll probably get to know the parents of the kids in your child's class better over the years. It's always best to keep it light and polite. Who knows, she might be a twat or a lovely woman with a foot in mouth problem. I'm sure you'll be happy with your own life choices whatever happens.

My ds has just started High school. We, as parents of his class had a night out at the end of term. It was quite interesting really and oddly poignant. We'd all got to know each other over the years, some good friends, others had been subjected to gossip over the years (the cringy letchy dad whose wife chucked him out). It all balanced out in the end and we had a few pints with respect for each other and a feeling that we'd got through a life stage together.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 09/09/2019 16:47

Yes it's a challenge but it's not a public forum, it's a closed group & though they are rude and thoughtless comments it sounds like they come from someone who has no consideration for a a situation that's different to theirs. I would hang fire on judging this person's character straightaway. She might well be a twat but there's a difference between clueless and malicious.

altiara · 09/09/2019 18:13

OP- I think she was just amazed at your ability to get the kids to school BEFORE school starts.

To everyone that appears to be now frightened of the class what’s app group - don’t be!! If one person makes a dickish comment, more fool them. What’s app is your friend when it comes to your school changing the date of world book day and whether children should turn up to sports day in PE kit even though the newsletter said no.

ThisLittlePiggyWentTo · 09/09/2019 18:18

Well at least she's done the other parents the favour of showing them how she is at the beginning of the term.

Rise above, you know your kids and they'll be fine I'm sure. It will bite her on the arse one day, just forget about it (I know it's easier said than done).

If she blogs about you in any way shape or form, go to the school and get it shut down straight away.

MeggyMeg · 09/09/2019 18:36

It's worth remembering that you may well be sat next to this woman at the next school play, bump into each other at parties/school events for the next 7byeats or so, or your DCS may even become best friends. It will be those moments that you may regret any witty retorts made now. Whereas at least this way she'll be the only one cringing over her comments.

Least said ,soonest mended and all that.

MadameButterface · 09/09/2019 19:13

“If she blogs about you in any way shape or form, go to the school and get it shut down straight away.”

Sweet tittyfucking jesus, paranoid much! And if you think schools have the time, resources or inclination to intervene in grown adults writing (as yet non existent) wanky blogs then i suggest you get out more

mummyrocks1 · 09/09/2019 19:32

Bert and Russell- your post is really insulting. I hate this working mum v SAHM thing. All SAHM being stereotyped as loving Waitrose, anxious and boring. You don't know their pasts. I am currently a SAHM but previously worked 3/4 days a week with two under 3s. I know exactly what it's like to balance childcare with work and be busy, thank you very much. I would be able to relate to both sides. Someone's situation can change and I resent your post.

SoyDora · 09/09/2019 19:35

It wasn’t BertrandRussell who posted slagging off SAHM’s. She was quoting another poster, and agreeing that it was an absolutely twattish comment.

BertrandRussell · 09/09/2019 19:38

“Bert and Russell- your post is really insulting.”

Excuse me? Hmm

ThisLittlePiggyWentTo · 09/09/2019 20:28

@madamebutterface That's incredibly rude. This has happened locally. And yes, our school have taken any online sharing of other families situations very seriously, seeing as they are teaching the children themselves about online safety and not oversharing.

Unfortunately it does happen in this day and age.

No need to be quite so personal, hey?

nevernotstruggling · 09/09/2019 20:31

Of course she can't use breakfast club, how would she take photos of her kids eating their cornflakes 

That's the kind of mum friend I like 😂

Namaste6 · 09/09/2019 22:43

Hi Op
It sounds to me like there's a bit of the green eyed monster in her. Taking notice of what you're wearing / wondering how you manage. Despite that, Always always take the higher road and keep doing what you're doing. She's in awe of your abilities and doesn't know how to tell you that. The low blows are to make herself feel better.

springydaff · 09/09/2019 23:41

Nah she's just a dick namaste

All her world is a stage Hmm