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Original poster

One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

407 replies

DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:40

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message Angry

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers Hmm and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

OP posts:
tigger1001 · 07/09/2019 10:24

Op, you dealt with it well.

I'm a working parent and used breakfast clubs and out of school clubs. In the past my kids were dropped off at 7am at breakfast club as I start work at 7.30. They both loved their time at the out of school clubs. She is just being a judgemental twat.

I've never understood the need to pass judgement on working parents or stay at home parents. Different things work for different families

Fatted · 07/09/2019 10:25

Rise above it all. My DC and I have so far successfully managed to get to school and remain alive for the last couple of years without having to participate in anything like what's app groups.

Do yourself a favour, leave the group and stop allowing this idiot to take up your your time and mental energy!!

CoraPirbright · 07/09/2019 10:26

I got a message from another mum saying 'ffs what is her problem?

Ha ha! You can bet your bottom dollar that if one Mum is thinking this, the rest mostly are too. She has neatly just exposed herself as the class twat!!

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Yabbers · 07/09/2019 10:27

The only comment I’d make is as a PP said, quick reminder the group isn’t there for folk to judge other parents, best keep it to practical information about the school.

Just a note though, that’s not a single parent dig. Plenty of working two parent families use breakfast club too.

HollysTeflonSeptum · 07/09/2019 10:28

Oh nooooo OP on top of it all you have an 'influencer'/blogger type mummee within your WhatsApp group.

Her commenting on what you wear rings alarm bells too in that it's the most basic of insecure basic bitch approaches.

Eek.

I was going to say leg it or mute initially but it might indeed be worth it to stay for the lols.

And then report back to us.

RuffleCrow · 07/09/2019 10:29

Just post "we're going to have to agree to disagree on that one, Phyllis" and detach. Don't bother communicating with her in the group or in rl again because it's just not worth the stress. She's probably feeling like a lazy sod for not doing any paid work and she's projecting on to you.

Yabbers · 07/09/2019 10:29

My DC and I have so far successfully managed to get to school and remain alive for the last couple of years without having to participate in anything like what's app groups.

Are you kidding? Parents like you are vital to the groups. You always know what time the school trip is going and whether they are wearing jammas today like the child has said at breakfast.

DD often leaves before the end of the day when notes are handed out. I’m often having to check stuff like this in the group.

passtheloveon · 07/09/2019 10:30

crosser62....I wish I’d had your advice 11 years ago..! School mums are exactly that, they’re not your best friends.

Simkin · 07/09/2019 10:31

Your response was great. If she keeps that shit up, make her seem like the weedy one instead of the alphagram one she's trying to be by pulling rank on the older kid thing, saying things like 'it is hard to leave them at first, don't worry you'll get used to it and you have to cut the apron strings some time' or 'sorry you're finding it so hard to leave them at school! If it helps, I saw little Octavian when I popped back for something and he was having the time off his life' etc

RaelImperialAerosolKid · 07/09/2019 10:33

Tell her that she is of course correct - and that you couldn't possibly leave the DC at breakfast club - and you are ever so grateful that she has volunteered to help - is 7:00 a reasonable time to drop them off at hers? They would so love to go into class together- also they are quite fussy about breakfast so only organic muesli and almond milk.

JapaneseBirdPainting · 07/09/2019 10:33

Look- we have a mum who does a bit of that sort of shit, and everyone just rolls their eyes. They also mostly ignore - except for 1 mum (who is a bit of a performance parenter) waded in and it all got so nasty they were called into the HT's fofice to discuss appropriate behaviour.

Seriously. (Grown, professional women, both)

Fuck me i laughed my head off.

Allyo19 · 07/09/2019 10:34

Save her number in your phone as something which will make you grin when you see it. May i suggest 'insta-twat'?

Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 07/09/2019 10:35

I’m waiting for Monday’s update.

I expect all the other parents at school will applaud OP.

RedCrab · 07/09/2019 10:36

Most kids I know LOVE the breakfast and after school club. In fact, my DD is vexed that I am able to leave work in time for pick up because she wants so desperately to be in after school club. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have spent over a year job hunting for that elusive flexible role!

fluffyjumper · 07/09/2019 10:37

My dd is 6 and has suggested she goes to after school club to allow me to rest. I'm using annual leave to do half days until I go on mat leave, another story. Shes trying everything to go to breakfast and after school club, I would let her go but desperately trying to save every penny. All the kids love it and it gives them a chance to get to know other children in other classes.

This mum does sound rude and judgemental, but just ignore her. At our school we have a real mix of mums. Theres mums who look down on working mums and talk very loudly about thier how thier dc are suffering as waitrose had run out of organic apples. Then theres the mums who dash in and dash out to get to work (me) with a quick nod to other parents and their dc have toothpaste down thier uniform. And then all the others inbetween.

We set up a facebook group and everyone is on there, a few of us met in the summer at the park to have a picnic and let the kids play. Every mum that turned up had brought a bottle of wine. So we are now known as the park drinkers mums. We have become really close and set up our own WhatsApp group. None of the waitrose mums talk to us, but hey I know where I fit and who I would rather be friends with. These mums are often quite lonely as they can feel they have to always be perfect, I'm the local practice nurse so tend to most of thier smear tests and they do open up to me.

Ash39 · 07/09/2019 10:40

Is it just me that would love the link to that woman's blog?

AudTheDeepMinded · 07/09/2019 10:42

fluffyJumper sorry sniggering at the phrase 'They do open up to me', that'll be the speculum love.

Simkin · 07/09/2019 10:44

fluffyjumper difficult to do a smear test if they didn't open up to you (sorry, sorry, just couldn't let it lie)

Haworthia · 07/09/2019 10:45

The other mums definitely think this woman is nuts.

How they proceed going forward depends entirely on how much of a queen bee she might turn out to be. It’s early yet and everyone’s trying to feel each other out.

My child’s reception class mums started out friendly and cordial but a popular group formed quite quickly. They had a secret WhatsApp group (took me 18 months to learn of its existence Grin) and they had their own social media hashtag. If someone had told me this is what women are like in the school playground, I would never have believed them!

RolyWatts · 07/09/2019 10:47

God I wish our school had a breakfast club. And a pick up service. And someone who came and dressed them. I fucking hate mornings.

You answered perfectly. She's a twat. Replying with snidey messages about working mums being better role models would make you just as much of a twat.

Simkin · 07/09/2019 10:49

AudTheDeepMinded cross posted with your funnier post.

user1573624 · 07/09/2019 10:50

Agree Ash, link please!

GrandmaSharksDentures · 07/09/2019 10:51

I bet you will "feature" in her next blog Confused

Shopkinsdoll · 07/09/2019 10:52

Just put lol 😂 then leave it at that

Tonnerre · 07/09/2019 10:55

Try some passive aggression in return. "What a shame your DD is missing out on this wonderful chance to socialise, didn't you know studies show that children who start going to Breakfast Clubs are much better adjusted socially in later life than others". Only warn the other parents in advance that you don't actually mean it.