One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

[DoggerDidIt]

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

Definitely say nothing and let her sweat!! Silence can be the loudest response sometimes. What a total dick

Reply and say if it bothers you that much maybe you can look after DD so I don't need to take her to breakfast club.

"What's breakfast club?" I don't use one but I know about it and it's obviously for parents to drop off kids so they can get to work. This comment was clearly her initiating drama. She then goes on to put you down in a way that she would know would hurt. To do this in week one and to all the parents is completely unacceptable and everyone else will be thinking it too. I would avoid her. Don't let it put you off making friends with the lovely parents. The horrid ones are the minority.

I've used both Breakfast & After-School Clubs for years. My youngest has just started Reception and we currently have no need for them, but still may need to book ad-hoc sessions for last 2 primary aged DC. Different strokes for different folks and money doesn't grow on trees.

I left a class whatsapp group last year for similar reasons. Insecure and jealous class rep created group and was also two-faced. I had smiley & polite words with her re. at the first signs of a possible bullying issue between several class kids, which included our kids. She obviously couldn't handle the fact that I was so direct with her and another parent, so she stopped talking to me. The other parent was fine with our conversation and still communicates with me, so the issue seems to be with her. I'm glad to not have to bother with her anymore.

I also got fed up of the general whatsapp nonsense taking up my phone storage. Bored parents posting unrelevant rubbish!
Luckily, I'm very organised so didn't need to remain in the group to be aware of school dates/events. If I do, I'll check school website, contact the school office, teacher or msg/talk to the handful of parents that are genuinely nice, friendly and worth bothering with.
I'm busy outside of school life and also have friends who are not school parents.

School whatsapp groups are famously problematic. Leave the group

PS. The kids appear to be fine and getting on nicely since our conversation. A few of the kids were also present during the conversation, so it was definitely polite and most importantly age appropriate for the kids.

At the time, I also spoke to a 3rd parent separately as the other two parents don't communicate at all with this 3rd parent for some unknown reason. I have also spoken to the last few class Teachers over the years re. the occasional low level bullying. Just to ensure that they are aware and able to monitor to ensure it doesn't get out of hand. It's important to deal with these types of issues as early as possible. It's also worrying and awkward when these types of parents also work at and/or volunteer their time to the school and are working alongside our children. These type of parents often find it impossible to remain professional and subjective re. school issues that involve their own children. Therefore, it is absolutely imperative that the school staff are informed of any unnecessary drama if and when it arises.