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Original poster

One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

407 replies

DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:40

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message Angry

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers Hmm and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

OP posts:
The2Ateam · 07/09/2019 09:52

What a fucking idiot. Seriously just ignore her. In real life as well.

Beamur · 07/09/2019 09:52

I’d just reply with “that’s nice” and then mute the group
GrinGrin

I would love to say do this (as it's beautifully passive aggressive) but the advice not to engage at all really is the best.

JetPlanesMeeting · 07/09/2019 09:53

I agree with BookWorm I would be saying "but surely all our children are left with strangers from the teachers, support staff, dinner staff etc until they get to know them, just like my children will get to know the before school club staff."

I volunteer in a primary school and the before school staff work in the school too and they are beyond lovely. It is like a social club and those not going often ask when they can join the club!

Where does she think the teacher's children are? Unless they have partners who can do their school run, then most of them are also in a before and after school club just usually at another school!

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Families
TheBrockmans · 07/09/2019 09:53

Just say that dd1 loves it there and dd2 would be sad not to join her, say that you are proud that she is so independent.

funmummy48 · 07/09/2019 09:53

The children in our school all love breakfast club. They arrive in the classroom with big smiles on their faces. If you don't want to leave the group, then I'd only comment on anything if you really need to. The experience in our school is that these groups seem to cause more harm than good. Social media often seems to bring out the worst in people.😐

Iloveacurry · 07/09/2019 09:53

She’s only made her herself look ridiculous. I wouldn’t bother replying to be honest. Unfortunately you and her have 7 years of primary school together. Best just not to rise to it. My eldest has just started secondary, and my youngest is in Y4, so not too many years left for me!

Lipz · 07/09/2019 09:53

Why don't you reply " actually the breakfast club is really great , I'm getting in from the nightclubs and late drinking around the time same time they need to be up, so it works out great, I can then just go back to bed after dropping them off ".

ComftyCushion · 07/09/2019 09:54

OP you've just said you're perfect reply... "well it is a shame that I won't be able to post breakfast photos on social media but I think the world will survive 😆 " you could also through a 'hun' at her for full mike drop!

Original poster
DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:54

This same mum asked me the other day what I was so dressed up for when I dropped DD at school. I was wearing a pencil skirt, shirt and flats and going to work.

I'm not going to leave the group but i've muted it now!

OP posts:
ContessaLovesTheSunshine · 07/09/2019 09:54

Nice work OP. You will have scored 'Responds with dignity' points and the rest of the group will admire you for it. Well they should anyway!!

Mumshappy · 07/09/2019 09:55

Lipz Grin

implantsandaDyson · 07/09/2019 09:55

Have none of the other parents commented? Something similar but on a smaller scale happened on a class Whats App group I was on. Same kind of glib "oh I couldn't possibly do that" 'I'd miss my kid too much" shite. It was very quickly dealt with by lots of parents chipping in with comments about how much their older child had enjoyed it, how the staff that run it were fab etc. Just short comments but it certainly fired a shot across the bows of the eejit that originally thought her view of parenting was the groups.

Freaking0ut · 07/09/2019 09:55

Don’t reply. Let your silence speak volumes.

And as the group admin for our class WhatsApp, they are valuable for getting messages out etc but I have it on mute and check it occasionally because some people just chat the most unbelievable amount of shit on there, forgetting that there are 30 other people reading it 🙄

Freaking0ut · 07/09/2019 09:57

Actually scrap that, do @Lipz answer, please please please! Grin

Marvinmarvinson · 07/09/2019 09:57

Shs got issues hasn't she? Something about you being independent and a working mum is setting off her insecurities. Smile and nod when you have to interact with her and ignore her as much as possible. She's only making herself look bad.

Capodimonte · 07/09/2019 09:58

My son is the same as @Blastandbollocks son and loves breakfast and after school clubs. I've left work early in the past, gone to pick him up from the after school club feeling all happy with myself thinking he would think it was a nice surprise - and then I got there and he didnt want to come with me because he hadnt had his snack yet Grin

As long as your daughters are happy take no notice to what that other mum has said. The clubs are a great place for the children to sociallise and enjoy time with their friends.

StealthPolarBear · 07/09/2019 09:58

Perfect reply op :) my dcs have been to breakfast club in two different schools now. They have had mixed feelings through the years (dd aged two used to cry when I dropped ds off and she couldn't stay for breakfast club!). Mostly they like it and th e majority of children in both schools have gone at some point, many every day.

TKRedLemonade · 07/09/2019 10:01

A huge number of kids in my daughters class go to breakfast clubs, I felt like the bad mum for a few month when she started until I realised that a lot of the “mothers” dropping kids off were actually childminders and Nannies and au pairs too. It’s a very two working parents areas but I still get the odd comment at work. I’m a paediatrician and sometimes other staff say “oh how do you do it, I’m not sure I could” to which I reply “but sure the kids here would die if I didn’t and that would be good at all would it Hmm oh and I have raised my kids to be confident and happy and secure in my love for them so they love it.....with a big passive aggressive smile. Agree with others my 5 year old asks for extra days in breakfast club 😂

PrincessHoneysuckle · 07/09/2019 10:03

Urgh no get out of the group for your own sanity.

jennymanara · 07/09/2019 10:04

Ignore. Everyone else will know this mum is an idiot, and you will look fine. If you respond with snarkiness, you will be judged as having sunk to her level. The moral high ground is always the way to go.

Hobbes8 · 07/09/2019 10:04

Your reply was good and I’m sure most of the other mums, whether they work or not, will think she’s a twat.

One of my friends gave me some good advice a while back - when you don’t know how to reply to weird passive aggressive messages just put a thumbs up emoji. Its perfect - blandly positive, shows they haven’t got a reaction out of you, and virtually possible for them to reply to so it tends to shut down the conversation.

Usernamealreadyexists · 07/09/2019 10:04

Did all other parents remain silent?

blackcat86 · 07/09/2019 10:06

"As a mum of girls I feel that I should teach them to follow their dreams and go for whatever career they choose. Lead by example and all that. Obviously I could choose not to work after my secret lottery win but I just bloody love early morning commuting' *smiley face. What a twat.

Popetthetreehugger · 07/09/2019 10:06

Oooo your good !!! As my darling mum would have sniffed ... fur coat and no knickers... it’s all show ! If she needs to show her perfect life you can bet your bottom dollar it ain’t !

waterrat · 07/09/2019 10:06

I can assure you OP everyone else on the whatsapp group will be thinking she is an utter nob.

I really recommend not staying in class whtsapps if they have this kind of personal opinion on them.

We have had trouble in ours - so there is now a RULE - agreed by all parents - that they are factual only - ie. is it fancy dress tomorrow.

They should not be for opinion or discussion as far too personal and inappropriate.