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Original poster

One week into reception term and i'm about to fall out with another school mum

407 replies

DoggerDidIt · 07/09/2019 09:40

I'm posting on here so I don't reply to her message Angry

We have a class whatsapp group set up by one of the mums. All very polite and nice since it's only been going a week.

Someone commented on the parking in the morning and I said it wouldn't affect me from now on as DD will be going to breakfast club with her sister in the mornings. Another mum then replied with 'whats breakfast club'. I replied assuming she wanted the details for her DC.

Instead she comes back with 'oh my gosh, thats difficult for your DD, I couldn't cope with having to leave DC on their own at that time of the morning poor thing'. At this point I kind of thought WTF and just replied saying 'well I need to get to work so she doesn't really have a choice haha, I'm sure she will be fine, her sister will be with her'. She then comes back with a fucking essay about how difficult she would find it having to leave her DC for that long and with strangers Hmm and won't DD miss out on going into class with all her friends and very head tilty poor DD comments.

I'm sitting on my hands to not reply well you have that fucking luxury because your husband works and you don't fucking need to leave your DC to go to work you utter knob.

I feel like i am having to defend being a single mum and needing to use fucking childcare!

OP posts:
stucknoue · 08/09/2019 16:45

You'll quickly see the various tribes at primary schools, there's the sahm/part time around school hours, the full time so you rarely see them, the nannies/au pairs, the grandparents were a largish contingent, and best of all the family who would send their driver sometimes! Dad's were in very short supply. Thankfully what's app wasn't invented

Dandelion1993 · 08/09/2019 17:01

Just say no thanks if you don't want to go.

I take my DD if it's a children's meet up but alway decline the parent only ones.

colourlessgreenidea · 08/09/2019 17:08

You'll quickly see the various tribes at primary schools

If you’re hell-bent on dividing everyone into groups that you can label then that’s what you’ll see see you look at people. People tend to find what they set out to find.

Are people really members of a ‘tribe’ based on such nebulous criteria as their employment hours?

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Families
AlphaJura · 08/09/2019 17:10

I would say it's a shame you feel like that and then bugger off. If someone asked what I was dressed up for or something like that I'd just say, I'm not really dressed up, it's just what I'm wearing today and try to ignore her in the future and not engage.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 08/09/2019 17:57

@TwatCat

I’d reply with "your poor dd, I couldn't possibly leave my child at home to go to the pub of all places! Do you leave dd for the pub often?"

This is perfect Grin

WhoKnewBeefStew · 08/09/2019 17:58

This is why I’m so glad my dd has just left primary school. I’m a full time working mum and managed to avoid all the shite. I made 2 good mummy friends and they would give me any info I needed rather than having to join the usual fb groups etc

ToftyAC · 08/09/2019 18:03

Thank fuck my eldest is halfway through sixth form so WhatsApp wasn’t a “thing”. And thank even bigger fuck that my DP will be doing the school runs for our youngest (just started reception). He doesn’t give a flying monkeys about the playground mafia and gives them all a wide berth.

Littlechocola · 08/09/2019 18:08

‘I would love to go but I am afraid that I may throttle you’

Tell her you need to sort out child care WinkGrin

hesatwunt · 08/09/2019 18:09

Every single parent WhatsApp group has at least one passive aggressive head tilty judgemental self righteous bitch!! She's generally the one that starts the group 😂😂. As mother of 6 with youngest just started in y7 I though all this bollox was behind me! Oh no Y6 group chat gets renamed Y7. Then she flounced off because someone pulled her up on her rudeness.
My advice-just call her out on her judgy rudeness. Don't worry your DD won't join a gang and lead a life of crime because you sent her to breakfast club 😂 xx

Tistheseason17 · 08/09/2019 18:17

There's always one in every WhatsApp group!! ha ha!

Brocks1981 · 08/09/2019 18:21

I use breakfast club because my DS6 doesnt like going in at normal time because it can get very busy. So he prefers to go to breakfast club where he normally has a yogurt because by that time he has already eaten breakfast, just so he is already in the hall when the other kids turn up.
As for the other mum, I'd share an article on the benefits of brekfast clubs and say its not just about gwtting to work but they also get a decent breakfast and get time wurh a few less people to wind down before going into class.

breaconoptimist · 08/09/2019 18:22

My favourite batshit WhatsApp commentary was a long diatribe against ‘shop bought costumes’ from a SAHP complete with instructions on how to fashion a costume from cardboard and tinfoil. I worked full time, had a non sleeping toddler and also did out of hours extra stuff, i wanted to kill her.

The preference of the good mummies for homemade costumes comes up year after year - fine if you’ve got the time...

The chat groups are an awful necessity - 100 messages that aren’t relevant to get to the one message to clarify something the school miscommunicated.

Sleepsoon7 · 08/09/2019 18:23

Working parent here although mine are now well beyond primary. I would advise playing nicely as far as you can with other mums and going to the odd mums coffee mornings or mums nights out if you can make them. If you can’t then just say so. I didn’t enjoy School gates - mainly because I often couldn’t do drop off or pick up and if I did I couldn’t hang around chatting. Still made some good friends - even though we drifted apart when DCs went to different secondary schools. One of my DCs was the youngest at their school to go to breakfast club and the only child in nursery to go. They absolutely bloody loved the attention they got from the older kids and being known by everyone.

Jeeperscreepers69 · 08/09/2019 18:28

A whatsapp group for mums??? Delete. Why would you want that hassle and why did you tell anyone about t breakfast club??? Keep your buisness your buisness and the im single card is boring as fuck. Most people are single parents these days yawwwwn. You wont miss anything on whatapp but bickering and snickering

TheHumanSatsuma · 08/09/2019 18:32

When my children were small , one just starting reception and one just a year old, I had to leave them at the child minders and nursery before 8, so that I could drive to work to teach the children of women like this one.

dollydaydream114 · 08/09/2019 18:44

I'm going to go, its a pub quiz night and I bloody love a pub quiz

I bet twatmum's general knowledge is absolutely fucking pitiful. You should definitely go and annihilate her in every round.

Jack80 · 08/09/2019 18:53

I would ignore, I work in a breakfast club and after school and they are nice environments for children sometimes there are classmates and if not children make other friends. Parents tend to build a rapport with our staff so we aren't strangers as such we are part of the school.

Evertheconundrum · 08/09/2019 18:58

She's jealous. The comment on how smart 'dressed up' you looked confirms it. She's trying to put you down but she's jealous of you having time away from mummy duties.

I'm a disabled single Mum and I'm so so jealous of working Mums as I crave adult company. I don't project onto them and make them feel bad by putting them down though!!!

aweedropofsancerre · 08/09/2019 19:02

Go to the drinks, its usually a laugh. I always found it funny with mums specifically, when my DD was in reception there was alot of SAHM (dont care what folks do and jealous they can afford it) however they created a clique and did the parent reps, school trips and if I dared turn up they smuggly sat in there group looking down there noses. Very odd and not necessary...my DS group was very different and were parents who mainly worked and there was a few single parents and we had a hoot at the regular drinks etc. It sounds like this mum has anxiety around leaving her DC and is very fortunate to not have to worry about wrap around care when you work fulltime, I wouldn't take it personally at all. But go and thrash her arse at the quiz Grin

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 08/09/2019 19:06

Maybe she's jealous that you get to go to work op... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gromit78 · 08/09/2019 19:08

Tbh it's good for kids to go to breakfast clubs etc as they grow more confident in socialising. If she's not careful her kids will end up like pathetic saps always hanging onto her apron strings and when it's time to go on school residentials they'll refuse to go because 'they suffer from attachment disorder'

KickAssAngel · 08/09/2019 19:17

How can she go out for an evening? Doesn't her DC NEEEEED her at home?

Go - and ask if the kids were crying as she headed out on the lash.

Then say yours are so confident from being in childcare that they are less traumatized when you go out in the evening.

ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt · 08/09/2019 19:18

Wouldn't waste any more time on this tbh, OP. She's going to burn herself out by half term at this rate.

FelicisNox · 08/09/2019 19:26

  1. you handled her well 😉

  2. your DD will love breakfast club: they get to eat and play. What's not to love?

  3. you probs will appear in her blog: congrats on your newfound fame.

  4. she clearly feels inferior to you; hence the comment regarding your outfit..... revel in it and make sure you look cool, calm, collected and fabulous every time you see her so you can ram home the point that you are doing it all and doing it well.

Unlike that insecure cow, you my darling are the whole package so rock that s**t.

😁

IdblowJonSnow · 08/09/2019 19:29

Don't stoop to reply unless it's somethi g perky with a smiley face.
Don't leave the group there might be some lovely people in there.
Most of us use some form of childcare, if she doesn't need to, bully for her.

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