I’m going to have to tell her straight aren’t I?

[PinkBlossomTrees]

This situation is quite complicated but I will try to explain briefly.

My oldest best friend who I used to go to school with has a DD the same age as mine. They live close by and the girls went through nursery and school together.

In year 3 her DD started bullying my DD. My DD didn’t tell me for 2 years. I took it straight to the head when I found out and parents were called in. My friend was unhappy I went to the school and not her. DD moved classes on her request and had a happy final year at school.

The girls are now both in year 9 at different schools. Me and my friend have rekindled our friendship, it’s not the same as before but we are friends. Our DDs have nothing to do with each other but we’ve moved on it’s all in the past.

During the holidays my friend said her DD may possibly need my help with something (to do with my job) and would I possibly be prepared to help her out and if so how much would I charge. I ran it past my DD first and she said she had no problem with it. So I said to my friend that should be fine and I wouldn’t charge.

My friend came back to me and said her DD does need my help and can I go round to theirs on Sunday, it’s all been arranged.

I mentioned to DD last night that I was helping her out Sunday. She’s said she’s not happy about it anymore as friends DD this week has been getting on a different school bus (same stop as my DD) and the name calling has started again and she’s shown me messages from her on Instagram calling her a “fat cunt” and saying how she should go to weight watchers.

After seeing this I have absolutely no intention of helping her out but need to let her Mum know but I have no idea what to say.
If it was you, would you make up a excuse or tell the mum straight the reason why?

I have no idea what to say.

.

The parent is so dismissive of her Ds behaviour!
My DD goes through so much emotionally, for reasons I will not go into on your thread, but this behaviour would never be accepted from her!
She does have attitude with me, part age, part emotional trauma. I still do not stand for it!

I feel frustrated for you OP! I definitely think you are doing the right thing contacting the school! I also believe you have handled the situation amazingly!

I hope your DD is ok today!

Jeez, your poor DD, what a nasty piece of work that other girl is. Definitely call her school.

Good luck today OP. I hope that the school (& police) take this very seriously.

What a nasty piece of work she is! Hope your DD is ok today.

You've done all you can, and I wouldn't be friends with the mother any longer. Can't help feeling sorry for her, though - I'm sure this is the last straw on top of all the other shit she has going on in her life. She probably hopes it will all go away, and instead her daughter keeps ramping up the problems.

I agree with contacting the other girl's school.

Tell her straight away with evidence

Absolutely straight to both schools and if they do nothing then go to the police...

Our schools work together and first stage is a very stern word with pupils involved, next stage reported to police.

I hope everything was fine for your DD today.

Your daughter sounds fabulous and wise beyond her years. Your friend will regret this time when she became complicit in creating a monster.

I hope all is ok today OP.

The mothers response says it all....her daughter knows the mother will make excuses for her so she can behave as she wants.

I spoke to a mother whos child was bullying my son,
She was the typical oh no my child wouldnt do that.
I told her I and another parent had witnessed incidents.
She replied if my child is going to be accussed of something he hasnt done then he may as well do it......the mother was a primary school teacher at the time and a vile human being in my eyes.

" if my child is going to be accused of something he hasn't done then he may as well do it"

This is the worst excuse for bad behaviour EVER. It's also tantamount to saying "oh well it's your fault for accusing him of it". Later in life this boy will grow up to be one who has an affair because his partner thinks he is.

If you don't want to be accused of something, don't do it EVER. Because even if you didn't actually do it the first time around, if you do it next time because of said shitty excuse, then no one will ever believe you were innocent of the first example.

SHIT response from that mother!! God that's made me angry. I've been accused of stuff before, but I absolutely would not have justified the liars' words by then DOING it!

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

I too was so angry when that awful mother said it.
Don't know what I would have done if the conversation had been face to face....I had phoned her.
Lets just say the bullying got worse for a while.....her other kids joined in,she turned adults against me etc.

One day someone from the family decided to up the anti....they got the shock of thier lives when the realised that we are not a family to be bullied by people who are not even tough,they just thought they were superior.
My son can now go about his life in peace,none of that family dare even look in our direction.

All the stupid woman had to say when I phoned her was thank you for letting me know,I will talk to my child and can assure you it will never happen again

Glad you got it sorted in the end, Cleanasawhistle

@Bumbags wow only just noticed this now ur so rude, sorry we're not all perfect like you and make a mistake by not ensuring we have read the entire thread first. Weirdo

@SunshineAngel your totally right, only just noticed her rude mention now, what a odd person she is to even care. Definitely got too much time on her hands 🙄

Surprisingly @mamaofboyss it’s not difficult to read the threads as that is what Mumsnet is about.

443 messages.....the thread moves on.

You just look an absolute tit when you repeat over and over again what 150 other people said.
Not a weirdo. Not got lots of time on my hands. Just bothered enough to read the thread.

Maybe you should cancel the cheque 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

You just look an absolute tit

That's a clear case of the pot calling the kettle black.

@SoupDragon definitely.
@SunshineAngel what a strange thing to do wouldn't mind but it's not even her thread to be so bothered and offended about. We are such criminals!

@Bumbags
clearly loves mums net far too much to be mentioning random people. Yeah maybe a bit of a eye roll at home to oneself but don't think it's justified to start calling people "twats". I wish I had that much time on my hands 🙄

@Bumbags sorry I didn't read ur reply properly just like I didn't read the thread properly, you said I looked like a "tit". What a funny insult i used to say that when I was thirteen.

Why have you posted on a thread from two weeks ago to have a weird rant?

Fuck sake guys, I thought OP had come back.

@Bouffalant me too

@PinkBlossomTrees do update us, is DD ok?