Is this Harrasment? My 16yo DD

[Harrasment0209]

Long time poster, obvious reasons for name change.

DD had just left year 11 and is moving schools.

In year 9 she was kind to a new boy who then latched onto this kindness and decided she was his best friend. Obviously she wasn't - he's just a boy who needed a smile when he joined a new school.

Since then he has obsessed over their friendship - texts phone calls etc etc.

It all got too much and was interfering with her mental wellbeing - she blocked him on all social media at the start of GCSE study. He then contacted many people to beg her to reinstate him. Head of Year was involved and we believe spoke to his parents and things were better for a while.

Since exams have finished and she's left that school, he's ramped it up - clusters of calls (including the middle of night) and he's contacted upwards of a dozen people (friends and unknown friends of friends) to beg her to talk to him.

I've composed a letter to his mother which I could send on FB messenger (she's not a FB Friend and no mutuals)
but I guess my social conditioning prevents me sending it, and I'm not sure it's the appropriate action.

I just want her to start a new school tomorrow free of this weight.

I'm also aware this is not good for his mental wellbeing either and stopping would be beneficial to him.

Please, does anyone have any advice?

For heaven's sake OP, he's already ignoring the warning. What does it take to make you go to the police in person and protect your child?
It's been two years.

His behaviour makes me very uncomfortable and I have worked with young offenders and adult offenders.
I think you need to report this to the police, and get them to take it seriously.
I'm concerned that this could suddenly escalate.

Awful for your daughter.

Mystified as to why you are not taking further action. Please please go back to the police (I think going in person is the best way). Think of it this way- not only will you be helping your daughter, you will also be helping him. He clearly needs help to understand that his behaviour is not acceptable (and actually downright disturbing & also criminal). Not that he deserves your help /pity but you seem so reluctant to try & fix this.

Go into an actual police station and report it as harassment. Chances are you didn’t actually speak to an officer. Don’t contact him or his parents it’s gone past that point and keep a diary of his contact etc.

This isn’t normal behaviour of a lovesick boy, the fact that it’s not even obviously romantically driven makes it even more creepy IMO.

Why are you so passive about this?

Honestly, you are sending a terrible message to your daughter about tolerating unacceptable and inappropriate behaviour.

This is not normal teenage behaviour and it is potentially dangerous to ignore it as many other poster have pointed out. Yet other than a live chat you have done the sum total of nothing to deal with it.

I’m honestly starting to wonder if this is real, what parent would sit back and let their child put up with this?

@TamarindCove op has effectively allowed the boy to carry on building his obsession with her daughter for two years, it’s very sad that she still won’t take the proper course of action.

I don’t believe it’s naivety as there have been plenty of high profile cases of women being killed or harmed by stalkers. The strange reluctance to deal with the boy properly and protect her daughter must stem from something that the op might not have told of us.

It’s been unanimous on the thread that we would all report to the police so the op’s stance is very odd.

@Soola It’s very odd. I can’t begin to fathom why on earth you’d let your daughter go through this without doing everything you can to put a stop to it. Baffling.

@Harrasment0209 How have things been this week?

@TamarindCove
@Soola if you read up thread we did report to the police.

@Grambler thank you for asking. All is quiet - no contact between him and DD - no friends have reported any attempts of him contecting her through them. It appears her mentioning the police has helped. And obviously moving school has taken her off his radar.